Can't leave certain people

[iluzaal32]

There's two people holding me down, my two-year old brother and my boyfriend who loves me the most. Other than them, I can't really see a reason to keep moving forward. My life sucks. My very own biological father sexually harassed me from when I weas in 3rd grade up to early college, I told my mom finally after all these years after being encouraged by my boyfriend, only for her to do nothing, not even send me to therapy. Im so tired of being tired, can't sleep, can't even hang out with my family because I cannot bear to see them, can't study properly, can't genuinely be happy, can't stop crying at night even on days where everything seems to be fine. I don't want to do this anymore and I just want to leave this world. But I also don't want to hurt these two special people.

How do you deal with this?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

That sounds excruciating, I really hope you are able to ease your pain. I don't know all of the specifics of what you're going through. But I think there is a possibility you could heal and find peace with proper treatment, although I don't exactly know how accessible it is to you. Just know that there's nothing wrong with being in pain and wanting it to stop, you shouldn't feel guilty when you're just a hurting person wanting some peace. Much love.

 

[idfwlnh]

It really sounds painful and awful, I hope the best comes to you. Have you try having a note and write everything you'd shout as if you're anonymous? Might be repeated phrases...it can feel better. Or maybe try some sports, probably related to fighting. When emotions blow up then just tell yrsf "aight, imma hit that imaginary hitbag at somewhere" and not throwing tantrums and such. If you go to a therapist or a doctor, they'll always tell you to do exercises.

May the sun in you shines again.