Cant handle a full time job, please help

[zulu123]

Hello,
First post here.

So two months ago I got a full time job. It's more a manual labor type of job and I don't make much at all (13 an hour after tax), I don't really like the work at all, and I work directly with a manager (which I also hate). I am really fucking struggling doing this type of work and it really is the reason I am on this website wondering if I should end my life now. I come home every single day completely out of energy and just feeling completely numb and tired. I've also been struggling with bipolar disorder for the past 6 years which is why I have never been able to hold a job in the first place.

I want to go back to college, but I feel like that's something I don't have the energy for anymore especially with a full time job. So I just feel like i'll be stuck here forever doing some shit that will make me sad all the time. I've really been having the feeling that I am at the end of my life and I am only 22 years old. I wanna work at a desk doing something STEM related, but I feel like I don't have the energy to bring myself there. My parents put a lot of pressure on me to pay bills and rent and keep this full time job and all I can think about is ending my life.

What should I do? Was anyone else in a similar situation and brought themselves out of it? I feel like finding another job right now would be impossible because I just go home exhausted every day. I am so sad.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Honestly, quitting the job, relaxing and considering other options would be the best you can do. Otherwise, a burnout will hit you sooner or later with much worse health consequences. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Your parents should understand that any additional pressure is making the situation worse.

 

[whywere]

I 100% agree with @Praestat_Mori post. A burnout will do nothing but add issues.

I went to college at the age of 24. I worked from 18 till 24 and saved up and then went and got a 4-year degree. I did not work during the school year, but I did have a summer job and also the manager of my summer job was SUPER nice and let me work during Christmas and New Years break and I also worked during spring break time. Never went to any spring break places, worked instead and had money for school and living expensive.

Wishing you all the very best in the world and lots of well wishes.

Walter

 

[pinemarten]

One option you could consider is getting signed off work medically by your GP for a few weeks or months to give yourself some breathing space if that's a thing where you are. Here in the UK, GPs will sign someone in your position off quite readily; their duty is to you as their patient, not to your employer.

If you're signed off work but you stay in your current job you might be entitled to some form of sick pay from the employer or the government to keep some money coming in while you take some time and decide what to do next. You'd need to look into what's available where you live. Consider looking into what benefits are available for job-seekers where you live i.e if you quit your job altogether what support would you get while looking for a new job? Would there be job-seeking commitments while you are medically signed off or would you be exempt from these until your doctor thinks you're fit for work again?

If you're signed off work you could start thinking ahead, have a look into what part-time work is out there and look into whether there is financial support available if you're on a low income and need some help with living costs if you did go back to work part-time instead of full time. Something less stressful, even if it's only for 6 months or a year or however long until you decide what you want to do next.

 

[gogoprince]

Perhaps, if you can afford to, you may wanna consider asking your manager if you can go part-time temporarily, or do work that's a little more gig-oriented (if you feel you can make your own schedule and keep to it). There's nothing wrong with taking a break from work, but financial stuff can snowball into more stress very quickly if you don't have any income at all. Also, I know that work has been something I've loathed over the years, but it can also help distract from those feelings of suicide or self-harm and it can be a way to meet friends, or at least get out of isolation.

I'm 31 and started a new career path two years ago. When I took the job, I didn't think anything would come of it, but now I have concrete experience in a field that allows me to have good health benefits, enough income to support myself with one job, and isn't in food service. I was lucky in a lot of ways, and I was able to make it through college and get a degree (barely lol), but I didn't think anything was possible for me future, or career-wise until just over a year ago because until then I was so plagued by suicidal thoughts.

I hope you can recognize and give yourself grace in this hard time because it sounds like you're really trying your best and the career landscape for someone your age these days can be very daunting. I would just say that nothing's guaranteed, but the choices you make today can help you a lot down the line and don't be afraid to lean on other people in your life and ask for help.

 

[MidnightCat]

I feel you.


Quitting is not ideal, let's be honest. But that gives you another chance. Burnout is just going to make you worse and then you'll not be able to escape.

Been in that situation, although with my own company which made it easier to manage. 7 years later... I can barely put the dishes in the dishwasher without shivering for anxiety.

If you're from Europe... To to your doctor, talk to him, might help to find some resources or have paid time off while you try to manage it better.

 

[iknewitallalong]

22 is very young my dear friend. You have the luxury of just quitting a taking as long as you need to figure thing out. Wish you well

 

[TheShadowKing]

Hey op I feel you as I can't hold a full time job either I currently work part time but thankfully my job gives me the full time hours when I need it though if possible I'd say find a situation similar to mine if it's possible but please dont follow these people advice and quit your job shit is a lot worse when your cold and hungry with nowhere to sleep on top of being mentally ill trust me I'm speaking from experience

 

[Shero]

Im working part time while repeating education. I don't know your life circumstance, but if there is a way to improve your life before choosing to finish it, i would do that. You have nothing to lose. I wish you good luck <3