Can't do things for myself, but can do things for other people

[alonely]

Does anyone else struggle to do things for themselves, but you can do things for other people?

Like I cannot get myself to do anything for my own recovery. I can do stuff if other people ask me to, or if it would benefit other people that i like. The problem now is that I have no one in my life, so I cannot get myself to do anything so I'm just in this limbo of doing nothing all day, all week, all month. when I could be doing stuff, its not a money problem or a physical problem or anything. but I can't make myself do it. not even things for "enjoyment". it's like i can't let myself do it. and there is no catalyst for change so i will just be like this forever.

 

[imustgo]

Does anyone else struggle to do things for themselves, but you can do things for other people?

Like I cannot get myself to do anything for my own recovery. I can do stuff if other people ask me to, or if it would benefit other people that i like. The problem now is that I have no one in my life, so I cannot get myself to do anything so I'm just in this limbo of doing nothing all day, all week, all month. when I could be doing stuff, its not a money problem or a physical problem or anything. but I can't make myself do it. not even things for "enjoyment". it's like i can't let myself do it. and there is no catalyst for change so i will just be like this forever.

Yes with me alot. I understand perfectly where you are coming from. For others I'm only willing to help wherever I can. Myself fuck all. I don't care. Stupid really I know

 

[alonely]

I'm glad it's not just me

 

[dreamscape1111]

Try repeating these to yourself: (Loving Kindness Meditations)

May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.

I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now. (in front of a mirror for bonus points)

I am valuable.
I am good enough.

Think of something that you love.
Feel that feeling of love in your chest.
Now apply that love to yourself, unconditionally, for no reason whatsoever.

Whatever arises, Love that.

Sending blessing your way.
You fully deserve good attention and care.

 

[alonely]

Try repeating these to yourself: (Loving Kindness Meditations)

May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.

I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now. (in front of a mirror for bonus points)

I am valuable.
I am good enough.

Think of something that you love.
Feel that feeling of love in your chest.
Now apply that love to yourself, unconditionally, for no reason whatsoever.

Whatever arises, Love that.

Sending blessing your way.
You fully deserve good attention and care.

thank you i hope one day i can believe those words

 

[bloodblacknothing]

i have the same exact issue, so you're not alone there. if there's one thing i can thank my trauma for, it's for showing me just how important it is to be good to people, no matter the cost to myself. one of the only things i derive enjoyment from anymore, even if on rarer occasion than i'd like, is just seeing people's faces light up after doing something good for them. in moments like that, i can almost forget the immense sadness i carry with me, even if just for a second.

doing anything, especially for myself, is a herculean effort most days - and in regards to feeling stuck in a sort of limbo, i feel that as well. not sure if it'll be of any comfort to you, but i think that your willingness to help others in a time of great pain says good things about you. i'm just sorry such a statement couldn't be said under better circumstances, given the forum we occupy.

 

[dreamscape1111]

I believe in you, we get to choose how we treat ourselves, you have the power within yourself to do so.

There were times when I couldn't believe those words either, but something within kept nudging me toward more self-love and acceptance.

Keep nurturing your heart and you'll make it through, pinky promise.
I didn't see any way out just a few months ago, but now I feel unstoppable, happier, and stronger having made it through.

It's okay though, all unfolds according to plan, and we are safe.
Have you always felt this way? What would a person who loved themselves do now?

 

[alonely]

Have you always felt this way? What would a person who loved themselves do now?

yea, lots of abuse, lots of trauma, never learned how to be or do anything for myself. im fundamentality lacking things that "normal" people acquire in childhood. suicidal since i was old enough to understand life and death, it's just gotten so bad now because i am more alone than i have ever been. "loving myself" is an idea i can't even comprehend. trying to fight but damn, its hard, and i often just want to succumb to the easy way out.

 

[dreamscape1111]

yea, lots of abuse, lots of trauma, never learned how to be or do anything for myself.

Oh no, I'm sorry you had to go through that, dear. I'm sure it must've been difficult and lonely. :(
Thank you for being strong and sharing though. <3

"loving myself" is an idea i can't even comprehend. trying to fight but damn, its hard, and i often just want to succumb to the easy way out.

Understandable, I can definitely empathize when I think back just a few years or even months back, good to see you try though, that's the spirit.
Whatever you decide to do, know that you're Loved unconditionally by the Universe. It's all ok, more than ok. Can't see it? Perfectly ok. :)

But if you can make it through all of that, wow... you can become really strong, compared to someone who just had it easy. <3
I believe in you, best wishes, dear friend. Much Love, everyone.