Discussion Can you still kill yourself if you have wide support?

[iDieUDie80]

I know some people here don't even have family, but what if you have family plus friends that love and care about you? I just don't want to put up with life any longer, and there is no question that my decision is going to absolutely devastate some people.

 

[Pookie]

I have people who care about me and I'm sad that I'm going to break their hearts but I can't live and suffer for other people. I shouldn't have been born in the first place. My body, my life, my choice.

 

[Bigpink]

Yes it may be rough on those left behind. Not sure that's reason enough to stay, either way there will be suffering. In the end it comes to autonomy.

 

[Uzera]

You can still kill yourself of course, many people do it. I would say if you actually have people that care about you maybe try use that support? I support people's right to CTB but I also think that it shouldn't be made on impulse, it is a huge long term decision. Have you exhausted all your options to improve things? Is this is a new feeling? Is it one that is always there or are you okay sometimes? In the end I respect whatever your decision is and if your life is chronic suffering then I don't think you should have to stay alive on principal I just hope you try whatever is available before you go. If you decide to go just think it through before you do. Many people decide to give life another shot sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. Its your choice in the end. Best of wishes whichever way you go.

 

[Nymph]

I have people who care about me but I guess I'm mean and I don't care enough about them because I don't wanna life "for them" or continue living just so they aren't sad that I passed away. I don't wanna suffer anymore, they belittle my problems, don't understand me and think I just haven't lived a "true hard life" so that my problems aren't valid. I'm just gonna off myself

 

[Soulless Angel]

and this is where the word selfish comes into play, this is why people think suicide is selfish, esp if you have a *support* network.
I do believe you should try and use that support network, but at what cost is another question. To carry on living a life you are not happy with, just to keep others happy is not living, that's just existing.
Everyone needs to do what's right for them, regardless of whom is around them in real life etc, I just hope they have sought all paths before they reach a path with no coming back.

 

[gtrfvr]

I've stopped interacting with most family and expect to lose the one family member I'm still in touch with within a few years. to make ctb easier

 

[alice-in-wonderland]

I have similar thoughts too about effects my death would have on my family even though we have a history of toxic relationships.

 

[Meditation guide]

I know some people here don't even have family, but what if you have family plus friends that love and care about you? I just don't want to put up with life any longer, and there is no question that my decision is going to absolutely devastate some people.

I think of Robin Williams who hung himself, although he was probably one of the most beloved people in the world as far as sheer numbers of people who adored him. Although he was getting a divorce, he had children family and friends.
He battled alcoholism and drug abuse over a long period of time, and was probably experiencing beginning dementia.

 

[k75]

I know some people here don't even have family, but what if you have family plus friends that love and care about you? I just don't want to put up with life any longer, and there is no question that my decision is going to absolutely devastate some people.

This describes me. My support network is strong, and I technically have a good life and loving friends and family. I don't even hate being alive.

It's not enough.

The thing is, you don't have to be traumatized to be depressed and suicidal. The reasons that brought me to this point aren't dependent on any of those things. They are beyond anyone's ability to fix. I can't ignore my problems. I can't just give in and accept them and move on, either, and honestly, I don't want to. This isn't my life anymore, and I'm not going to get back what I lost.

This causes me terrible guilt. I feel like a selfish ingrate and just like a shit person in general. I feel like I don't have a right to be miserable and want to die when I'm lucky enough to have what others don't. That just makes me feel like dying more.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Right now nobody I talk to can make me feel better, even my emotional support cat. I'm in a shit ton of pain, and I'm tired of constantly failing and trying to make my life work.

 

[NodusTollens]

It great that you're caring enough to consider the emotions of your friends & family, though it's okay to think about what is best for you.

&OP, we're here. :)

I too struggle with having no one to talk to despite having a couple close friends who care. There are just some subjects that we or they aren't ready to discuss & that's okay. In the meantime time, SS has got your back.

 

[justsad&done]

This describes me. My support network is strong, and I technically have a good life and loving friends and family. I don't even hate being alive.

It's not enough.

The thing is, you don't have to be traumatized to be depressed and suicidal. The reasons that brought me to this point aren't dependent on any of those things. They are beyond anyone's ability to fix. I can't ignore my problems. I can't just give in and accept them and move on, either, and honestly, I don't want to. This isn't my life anymore, and I'm not going to get back what I lost.

This causes me terrible guilt. I feel like a selfish ingrate and just like a shit person in general. I feel like I don't have a right to be miserable and want to die when I'm lucky enough to have what others don't. That just makes me feel like dying more.

I relate to you so much. And I agree completely. I always say (to myself and anyone I may be having a conversation with) that some things are just impossible to fix. And some things are lost forever.
Having friends and family makes things easier AND harder at the same time. I'm always feeling guilty for my feelings and for wanting to choose what I think is best for me.

 

[daddy Phil :)]

I have a lot of people who (I think) care about me and because of that I just can't do it. It's so difficult to live, but I just can't do it. Maybe some people will leave me, will hate me, will forget about me in the future, but until that happens or something else which I don't want to talk about, I will live this horrible life. Sometimes I think about doing things to others so people will hate me and I can finally do it, but I can't even do that. :)

 

[YukiFox]

The issue isn't the support. Even with all the love for the family and friends, even with a life without debts, or a solid financial background, even if someone gives to me 2 million dollars, even if a person declares their love to me, all that circumstances doesn't disprove the death thoughts.
I compare the suicidal process as a disease. In some persons can be cured, in others like me, the process is irreversible. The temptation of killing myself it's always there, and they are some triggers to worse the condition. I didn't compare like a destiny, only it's a probable scenario. Even with all the meds, or therapy, or stability, the thoughts will be there, like a scar. And that scar hurts a lot.
So even I got support for my family, specially financial support, that doesn't eliminate my death fantasies.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

While I don't have much family really except young siblings I've lost contact with, I do have a partner that I love very much, a few friends online, and a couple friends at uni, and while I do care about all of them, the support I get just isn't enough.

Not having familial ties pretty much fucked me up in the long run, as there has been really no one to help me since I became ill. People tell you to love yourself and learn to live on your own, otherwise you're just a toxic parasite, but what about when it is nearly impossible because you are so disabled?

People aren't willing to treat you like family, most relationships seem to be a cat and mouse game of keeping you at a distance unless you're providing some sort of benefit to them. I have never known the love of a mother, for mine abandoned me at birth. I wish that I knew how it felt to be loved unconditionally. When some of my boyfriend's family gave me a piece of jewelry for Christmas last year I nearly cried because it felt like for once I was part of a family, even if it was just for a moment to recieve a gift.

Knowing how cruel most people are, why would I want to live? I would still be tormented by chronic pain and ptsd even if I had more connections with others, I think.

I do feel guilty leaving behind the small circle who do seem to care, but I know its for the best because I am a burden who stresses others out merely by existing and needing help.