Can you remember what made you want to live?

[YukiFox]

Firstly my gender transition. I want to live as a trans woman freely, since I realize that I'm transgender I have little more hope.
Secondly, I want to write some books. I finished one novel, and that cheers me to continue writing (But my notebook isn't helping hahaha). Well, I think I have the technique and the creativity, but my lack of focus postponed the realization of this goal.
Finally, I want to feel loved as I am, without masks, without money interests. I didn't have a relationship for more than six months. I want a boyfriend, even a husband to find peace together. I think I can't handle all the challenges to being a trans woman alone, and I'm terrified about unemployment and poverty. So I want a partner to fight together, to overcome together our haunting thoughts.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Something just clicked, don't know why or how, it just snapped inside of me.

 

[foreverbroken28]

Can I ask why Unisom? I've had awful insomnia forever, tried Unison, Melatonin, etc. It never helped, eventually got on Ambien to sleep. I've heard people saying Unisom helped them before, wondered what I was missing out on because it didn't do anything to me. There's also an over the counter supplement called Passion Flower which helps with insomnia and anxiety that is relaxing: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323795

I've always had trouble sleeping and my dad introduced me to Unisom in 2011. It gave me a euphoric feeling for like 30 minutes & passed me out & ever since I've been asleep.

Melatonin didn't work for me, either. I'm glad you found something to help you. I heard stuff about Ambien. I think I took it twice and was hallucinating another world. It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

Ty for posting that link. I'll have to check it out ♡

 

[the_inbetween]

Spending time with my only close friend from high school who has distanced themselves from me for their emotional wellbeing. Strong opiods. 3-meo-pcp. Running long distances in a healthy body. A chance at relief from depression with the right medication (currently hoping for an MAOI to be prescribed).

 

[Halo13]

I've always had trouble sleeping and my dad introduced me to Unisom in 2011. It gave me a euphoric feeling for like 30 minutes & passed me out & ever since I've been asleep.

Melatonin didn't work for me, either. I'm glad you found something to help you. I heard stuff about Ambien. I think I took it twice and was hallucinating another world. It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

Ty for posting that link. I'll have to check it out ♡

That's pretty great it helps you so much, kinda jealous. I grew a tolerance to the Ambien and it stopped working, switched around to other meds. I absolutely had hallucinations the first time I took it too! Told the doctor, he said that's why you have to basically take it when you're in bed already. Didn't make a difference because sometimes I'd wake up and see the most indescribably weird stuff, like being in a crazy dream. Or sleep walk. I don't know lol. Knocked me out for a good 10-12 hours then quit working. Such a strange pill.

You're welcome about the link - I still struggle with insomnia so always trying to look out for something helpful

 

[mrwonderful]

I got a full time job that pays weekly, might as well make the best of things for a while

 

[Dead.Marilyn.Sad]

- Travel to Egypt (I love the ancient Egyptian culture)

- Meet Lady Gaga one day (She's my favorite)

These are my dreams that haven't come true yet...

 

[BabyYoda]

I never really wanted to die but I planned my impulsive CTB anyways. Deep down I knew that it was not the right time at all for me to go, because I still have a lot of stuff to do here in this life. It always seems that every time I set a date something would ALWAYS stop me, no matter how long or short my preparation time is.

 

[LadyApple]

I did work with a medium tonight who cleared off a group of entities from me -- lower energies that can attach to us. Feel a whole lot better. Got me to not feel suicidal tonight after feeling strongly that way this morning. She also gave me exercises to do I may share.

That's awesome. What kind of exercise did she ask you do if you don't mind me asking? I want to make sure these suicidal thoughts are not from lower entities but directly from me.

I never really wanted to die but I planned my impulsive CTB anyways. Deep down I knew that it was not the right time at all for me to go, because I still have a lot of stuff to do here in this life. It always seems that every time I set a date something would ALWAYS stop me, no matter how long or short my preparation time is.

Then it's not your time yet if it happens.

 

[Aleandra Felix]

When I was on the verge of suicide, totally ready to do it in a few days, I felt so calm, so happy and such a wonderful peace of mind that I wanted to prolong that moment. I wanted to continue to feel those things. Then I gave up, the feelings disappeared and here I am trying to build up the courage again.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

The idea of running away into the wilderness is the only thing keeping me alive currently

 

[Mustkeyknow]

That maybe one day I could land my dream job. Also, seeing Lana del Rey live again.

 

[Epsilon0]

What made me go on living was that undiscerning, purely instinctual, non-reflective behaviour called SI.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

The things that have kept me alive are small guilty pleasures. Most of them are mundane but for that fleeting moment they bring me happiness. I no longer aspire for some grandeur of happiness that most of us delude ourselves into believing is obtainable.