Discussion Can you remember the first time you felt suicidal?

[вечный сон]

Alot of shit happend when i was a kid but i don't think i ever thought about catching the bus. When i was 15 and everything kept getting worse, my Situation felt so unbearable, that i thought about doing it for the first time, and actually tried it the same day by cutting my wrist while crying. Ever since then the thought of ctb never left me, even if things get a lil' better occasionally.

 

[woofwag]

Maybe not the first time I was officially suicidal, but I do remember my first suicide attempt. I was 6. I found a note a couple years ago that I had written then saying, "i want to die and have a better life in heaven." Ironic, because I don't believe in heaven now. What a depressing life I live

 

[вечный сон]

Maybe not the first time I was officially suicidal, but I do remember my first suicide attempt. I was 6. I found a note a couple years ago that I had written then saying, "i want to die and have a better life in heaven." Ironic, because I don't believe in heaven now. What a depressing life I live

6 is very young to be wanting to ctb. I'm really sorry that you had to feel like this as a little child.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

A big failure in life made me suicidal a couple of years ago. Well, I planned a method immediately (CO Method), but was still more or less far from an attempt bc there was still too much hope left. It took several more years to crush me and to stop fighting.

Ultimately, I ended up here.

 

[thisIsNotEnough]

I've been suicidal as long as I can remember, honestly. Rarely actively though, mostly "I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up" thoughts

 

[kuroshimi]

Not quite suicidal, but always have some death wish since childhood. Maybe because topic somewhat stigmatized and I was not really into it. Mostly engaged in self-harm

But after entering the uni and get diagnosis, I began to think more about it and have full-fledged attempts.

 

[darksouls]

when I was about 14 years old I realized that my mother had completely broken me mentally and emotionally

 

[Hime]

I remember it starting out as a silly/funny thought I had. I was in kindergarten, or the first years in school, walking on a bridge, holding hands with my classmates. As we looked down below us on the bridge, I saw cute ducks swimming around. I thought to myself at that time, "I should just jump down and die and become a duck!"

And for some reason, that thought has always stuck with me. That's kind of where my fascination with death started. That's where I realized how easily I could just... take the action to die?

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always wanted peace, to me existence just feels like a mistake, I'll always prefer the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep over this torturous existence of unnecessary suffering.

I just don't see any benefit to being burdened with this existence of suffering all for the sake of it where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I find it so undesirable to exist in every way and as long as I exist I'll just hope for the peace of non-existence, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

It was around 2006-2007. I was in 9th grade back then. Suffered daily abuse and trauma from my entire family and thought that suicide was the only thing for me to do on this planet. Unfortunately my attempts failed in between all these years and things just got much much worse for me.