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ikiruNObungaku

ikiruNObungaku

I'm literary nonsense.
Jan 3, 2026
48
I have a situation where I would like some opinions on, and if you were in this situation, I would like to know what you would think.

I have a group of friends, and one of them is actively suicidal. I've heard they been institutionalized before, but I do not know the background information of that. I am actively suicidal too, but we act very differently from each other. I do not like to tell anyone about my issues, nor do I like to publicly show any kind of sadness; I have a personal belief where all issues like this should be kept to myself as to not disturb others. This person vents a lot however, a large majority of the time. They are very open about their constant depression and grief. I think this is ok; everyone shows depression differently. I do not judge them of course.

Recently they have been doing a lot of weird repetitive scares. They leave their account, they come back. They switch their account, then switch back to their main account. Or they leave group chats, then come back. It is never more than a week between these things. During these times, the possibility of suicide always lingers in the air for them. They will let others know if they are about to do it though, like leave a message. It makes many of our friends constantly worried. But they will also be upset if help is called for them. This makes me confused. I do not know if this is suicide bait or not. But I think they are genuine in their grief and their possibility of attempting, so I would not call it that.

But I do not like the idea of constantly leaving our friends in such a worried state. Because of my beliefs, when I die, I will tell absolutely no one that I am about to do it in order to avoid things like that. I keep all my attempts private information as well, but this person does not. We express our depression and suicidal ideation in such different ways, and it is interesting. I do not hate them or anything like that, but seeing someone so different in thought process makes me feel off because I do not understand what they might be thinking.

Publicly telling others what you're about to do gives the instinctive response of them trying to save you, right? If I made it known I was about to die, and a friend of mine called for help, I would not be mad at my friend at all. I think that is a fair response. People who are not suicidal would not understand the concept of not wanting to be saved; the idea of just watching a friend just die is not good to them and naturally they will act. So, I am not sure why this person keeps doing this, or if it is maybe impulsive.

I would just like to understand this person better. So if you understand the way they are acting, or maybe you empathize greatly, could you tell me about it? I would like to better understand. I hope I am not offending anyone with this question or scenario.
 
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CrawlingInMySkin

CrawlingInMySkin

Blood is Red, and Sweet as Cherry Wine
Jun 14, 2026
225
For some, it's a way to "get back" at the world for putting them through this. A sort of "look at me now!" Defiance. Hearing about people's depression and suicidal tendencies makes people understandably really uncomfortable, and it's a way to show to the world you're suffering, often because of them. That's generally what it is, sorry for the bad description, but of course it's different for everyone... Love and peace, mate♥️
 
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ikiruNObungaku

ikiruNObungaku

I'm literary nonsense.
Jan 3, 2026
48
For some, it's a way to "get back" at the world for putting them through this. A sort of "look at me now!" Defiance. Hearing about people's depression and suicidal tendencies makes people understandably really uncomfortable, and it's a way to show to the world you're suffering, often because of them. That's generally what it is, sorry for the bad description, but of course it's different for everyone... Love and peace, mate♥️
Thank you so much for your reply! I never thought of it this way. But, isn't it bad to do this kind of thing toward friends who care about them the most? Or, do you think they do not consider that part?
 
CrawlingInMySkin

CrawlingInMySkin

Blood is Red, and Sweet as Cherry Wine
Jun 14, 2026
225
Thank you so much for your reply! I never thought of it this way. But, isn't it bad to do this kind of thing toward friends who care about them the most? Or, do you think they do not consider that part?
Could be a caught in the crossfire kind of thing, or yeah they might also not care… also, completely unrelated- do you know why I can see signatures on one device but not another? I am currently using a Kindle paperwhite (my phone died…) and can see signatures, but can't see them on my phone. Is it because this one might register as a desktop version? sorry random question lol
 
kipper

kipper

Member
Mar 11, 2023
44
I used to do this sort of thing for a few reasons. One, I genuinely believed I would go through with it and felt they should know. Two, attention seeking (not inherently a bad thing in my opinion.)
I was used to everyone in my offline life never hearing me out, had no one to talk to, so in my friendship circles and online I would be loud about it as it was my only outlet and I wanted the attention from it. But of course, I was also genuinely suffering.
I did stop this sort of behavior at some point because it made me seem unapproachable to others and I felt bad for putting people through it, though.
 

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