Can we talk about pain from SN?

[hopelessgirl]

So, this is the last thing holding me back.
I know that one falls unconscious after about 10-15 minutes. It's just that I'm worried about the pain before that. I don't really care about heart palpitations. That is fine. I am talking about the literal burning pain in the stomach. I'm worried about it, because I just recently had some pretty severe burning kidney pain, and it just made me not want to kill myself with SN. My N is still in the warehouse with Ups since before Christmas so I guess I'll never receive it or I would be really lucky (I live in Scandinavia). I also got some food poisoning before Christmas and it just made me not want to feel sick from SN and feel nauseaous and puke and all that.

I guess I'm just weak right?


I might just be a pussy for preferring N before SN, or maybe it's a good thing that this pain thing is holding me back a bit, because then I have to really brace myself and be ready before I do it.

People who are considering SN, what are your thoughts on the pain from SN?

Also, sorry this is not supposed to be fear spreading. I'm just trying to understand how I'm going to face the pain. Somebody told me I should remember that a natural death may also be painful, and I find some comfort in that. I guess I'm just trying to prepare as best as I can, and I thought hearing your thoughts on it might help.

I've read almost every post there is on here about the pain rate from SN and thoughts on it. Seems like it varies a lot.

I guess I just should be fine with 10 minutes of agony. I guess I'm also a bit sad for not having access to N.

Thanks for the vent anyways.

Edit; I have benzos, antacids and antiemetics. I just don't have meds against heart palpitations and I won't bother getting those cause I have no idea how I would.

 

[Dot]

Thnk stmch pn = mre an issu fr ppl wh/ hve ulcrs e.t.c - mst ppl nt rport stmch pn

 

[hopelessgirl]

Thnk stmch pn = mre an issu fr ppl wh/ hve ulcrs e.t.c - mst ppl nt rport stmch pn

Ok, well I dont have any ulcers :-)

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

I thought headache was the only pain associated with SN. Supposedly taking a normal dose of tylenol or ibuprofen is enough (I guess it's not that bad of a headache, it just has to do with a blood pressure drop). I plan on taking both of them and a small opiod dose just to be sure. Apparently adding the opiods can slow down the digestive tract, which can make things take longer, but to make sure it's pain free, I think it's probably worth it.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I think if one has severe stomach ulcers, then this fear is probably justified. otherwise, I personally think should be fine, for me at least.

there are some unconfortable aspects of SN: the taste is bad, there couls be vomits and nausea, staying awake and conscious for 20 minutes could be enough time to think about bad things and feel bad due to one's thoughts etc… but when I compare SN to very violent methods like jumping in front of a train, jumping from height, hanging etc, then SN starts to shine for me, it's really good, I consider it almost gold standard CTB method right now. it's way more peaceful and reliable than countless other methods, it's cheap and acessible. it's really that great.

the bad parts about SN, for me, is that (1) it's not suitable for people who can't afford to be alone and not be found for at least 4-12 hours, and (2) its availability and acessibility will probably decrease dramatically over the next years, as governments are starting to learn about it, it's catching the attention of journalists and politcs, so the restrictions for commerce and posession will probably increase a lot.

 

[Depressed Cat]

From most accounts, SN is a relatively painless way to exit. However, it is not exactly peaceful (while N definitely is!)

Tachycardia (heart pounding fast) and gasping for breath may be tolerable as one may have already experienced this after doing a strenuous job or an intense workout, for example.

Even the headache caused by a blood pressure drop may be tolerable as one becomes dizzy and loses consciousness.

The worst aspect of SN is indeed the nausea and vomiting. Even after taking adequate doses of an anti-emetic and an antacid, one may throw up as the body desperately attempts to expel the poison.

Not only is this nausea and puking very discomforting, it may also be painful for those with gastric issues.

Holding down the SN after drinking it is the difficult job. While people have managed to CTB even after puking, it would take a lot of effort and will to drink the backup glass(es) after vomiting out the first.

While I'm glad I have SN with me, I so badly wish I had access to N. Except for the taste, N is better than SN in every imaginable way.

 

[Shu]

You need 4 to 12 hours? Oh man. I wonder how quickly most people lose consciousness

 

[Lost Magic]

Wow, so you ordered N and it got stuck at the depot. Damn, I guess I am lucky that mine got here okay. I knew buying it was a gamble anyway and I was prepared to lose. SN was my exit of choice prior though and I managed to get a hold of other pills to make the passing more peaceful. Just think of it this way (and I know you have) the pain or discomfort won't last forever. I still believe SN is the best (non violent) way to ctb after N and so many people are struggling to get access to either of them. Just think of it that way and don't stress over it. Best wishes to you!

 

[Sherri]

I was lucky I got mine, this summer they changed the rules from packages coming from outside the EU, everything goes through a big screening in customs. Glad it lasts a lot if unopened.

 

[Of The Universe]

I hope you get your N! Maybe write some emails or phone calls. You Norse folks are pretty liberal about most things!! I hope they give you your N,it's yours!!

BTW you sound like a nice girl,are you sure ya wanna ctb?? None of my biz,but it is what tis!!

 

[Ethereal Knight]

You need 4 to 12 hours?

no I don't need all that time (to CTB). if I take SN, I'll probably CTB earlier than that. however, it's better to be safe than sorry.
it's better to ensure success rather than being taken to the hospital, wake up with a nurse injecting methylene blue in me and then be thrown into compulsory psychiatric ward for months, basically being arrested there like a prisoner, with no way out even if you want... and all that humiliation and time wasted.

I don't know the exact amount of time one needs, but the important thing is that I'd never do it in a place where I'm likely to be found. quite the opposite. I'll do it in a place where it's likely that I won't be found for days.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

Edit; I have benzos, antacids and antiemetics. I just don't have meds against heart palpitations and I won't bother getting those cause I have no idea how I would.

benzos are something that I would not take. I may need to drink a second glass of SN, and I don't wanna be sedated and impaired from benzos, the impairment can make me more likely to make mistakes.
I know things like benzo and alcohol relax, but it comes with a cost.

 

[Lost Magic]

benzos are something that I would not take. I may need to drink a second glass of SN, and I don't wanna be sedated and impaired from benzos, the impairment can make me more likely to make mistakes.
I know things like benzo and alcohol relax, but it comes with a cost.

I am the opposite. I think my nerves in combination with Survival Instinct would cause me to freak out. But you know yourself. I will be taking at least one benzo and a few propranolol to reduce anxiety and heart rate.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I am the opposite. I think my nerves in combination with Survival Instinct would cause me to freak out. But you know yourself. I will be taking at least one benzo and a few propranolol to reduce anxiety and heart rate.

I understand.
fortunately I can be cold-blooded enough to do everything right and not let my emotions come to play. I have years of experience in repressing emotions. and if you think about it, I was gonna die anyway. it would take more 30-40 years to happen but it would happen. there's no escape from non-existence.

I'll probably think about my ex and shed some tears over the fact that I couldn't hug her, smell her skin and put my hands on her hair one last time.
but it's okay. if it didn't happen it's probably because it wasn't supposed to happen.
if I was really supposed to be at her side, then I may still be after I die - who knows?
or maybe she's not the love of my life and instead, the grass is. I'll hug the grass, the roots and the water like I never hugged anyone else. and me and them are gonna become one.

anyway, I'm sorry if I digressed.

 

[chocolatebar]

I'm in this limbo as well, looking at my sn every day and contemplating if I should drink it at once. There are some reports around here from people who survived and their experience wasn't so bad, but we can never know if it's really true because, well, this is the internet.
But, as someone pointed, sn isn't the greatest way out, but when compared to traditional methods, it's a lot better.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I am the opposite. I think my nerves in combination with Survival Instinct would cause me to freak out. But you know yourself. I will be taking at least one benzo and a few propranolol to reduce anxiety and heart rate.

I'll take benzos as well. But I know how much I can take and I will definitely not take too many so that I won't be that sedated. I'll probably take 3-4x15mg

I'm in this limbo as well, looking at my sn every day and contemplating if I should drink it at once. There are some reports around here from people who survived and their experience wasn't so bad, but we can never know if it's really true because, well, this is the internet.
But, as someone pointed, sn isn't the greatest way out, but when compared to traditional methods, it's a lot better.

It is a lot better than other methods yes. And yeah this is the internet, and we're talking about dying. So I guess wanting no pain, unless it was taking N, is just ridiculous of me.

Wow, so you ordered N and it got stuck at the depot. Damn, I guess I am lucky that mine got here okay. I knew buying it was a gamble anyway and I was prepared to lose. SN was my exit of choice prior though and I managed to get a hold of other pills to make the passing more peaceful. Just think of it this way (and I know you have) the pain or discomfort won't last forever. I still believe SN is the best (non violent) way to ctb after N and so many people are struggling to get access to either of them. Just think of it that way and don't stress over it. Best wishes to you!

Yeah I did. Yeah you're really lucky you got yours ... I guess I'm gonna give up waiting for it any longer than 2 months. I was even considering ordering it again, but it would be silly if there is no chance whatever of getting it.

And yeah you're right. I should think of it as being lucky to even have a viable method at hand, with confirmed pure SN and all the meds I need to make it work... And yes. The pain won't last forever. Thank you for your input.

I think if one has severe stomach ulcers, then this fear is probably justified. otherwise, I personally think should be fine, for me at least.

there are some unconfortable aspects of SN: the taste is bad, there couls be vomits and nausea, staying awake and conscious for 20 minutes could be enough time to think about bad things and feel bad due to one's thoughts etc… but when I compare SN to very violent methods like jumping in front of a train, jumping from height, hanging etc, then SN starts to shine for me, it's really good, I consider it almost gold standard CTB method right now. it's way more peaceful and reliable than countless other methods, it's cheap and acessible. it's really that great.

the bad parts about SN, for me, is that (1) it's not suitable for people who can't afford to be alone and not be found for at least 4-12 hours, and (2) its availability and acessibility will probably decrease dramatically over the next years, as governments are starting to learn about it, it's catching the attention of journalists and politcs, so the restrictions for commerce and posession will probably increase a lot.

Thank you for your input. I do not have stomach ulcers, so you're right my fear isn't justified then. I'm glad. I don't even know where I got the fear from. Maybe I've just been so focused on getting my N that I kind of developed a repulsion towards SN.

And you're right. Compared to the violent methods, it is golden. I've tried hanging several times and I just can't do it. Doesn't work. So I must be grateful for even having gotten hold of SN before they shut off the supply of that. I guess ctb is a whole mental process where we must convince ourselves to do it.

I thought headache was the only pain associated with SN. Supposedly taking a normal dose of tylenol or ibuprofen is enough (I guess it's not that bad of a headache, it just has to do with a blood pressure drop). I plan on taking both of them and a small opiod dose just to be sure. Apparently adding the opiods can slow down the digestive tract, which can make things take longer, but to make sure it's pain free, I think it's probably worth it.

You're actually mostly right. I guess I just created an irrational fear of it. Here's a link to some of the success/failure stories with SN:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-successful-and-unsuccessful.30211/

From most accounts, SN is a relatively painless way to exit. However, it is not exactly peaceful (while N definitely is!)

Tachycardia (heart pounding fast) and gasping for breath may be tolerable as one may have already experienced this after doing a strenuous job or an intense workout, for example.

Even the headache caused by a blood pressure drop may be tolerable as one becomes dizzy and loses consciousness.

The worst aspect of SN is indeed the nausea and vomiting. Even after taking adequate doses of an anti-emetic and an antacid, one may throw up as the body desperately attempts to expel the poison.

Not only is this nausea and puking very discomforting, it may also be painful for those with gastric issues.

Holding down the SN after drinking it is the difficult job. While people have managed to CTB even after puking, it would take a lot of effort and will to drink the backup glass(es) after vomiting out the first.

While I'm glad I have SN with me, I so badly wish I had access to N. Except for the taste, N is better than SN in every imaginable way.

Thank you for this well written explanation.

I hope you get your N! Maybe write some emails or phone calls. You Norse folks are pretty liberal about most things!! I hope they give you your N,it's yours!!

BTW you sound like a nice girl,are you sure ya wanna ctb?? None of my biz,but it is what tis!!

Too paranoid to call them I guess....

That's kind of you. I guess I'm nice enough, and no I'm not absolutely sure until I actually end up doing it. It's a long process. I'm trying to make a well thought through decision, watching lectures on death and suicide, reading books about it, and writing my own texts on it as to reflect on why I want to do it.

 

[hopelessgirl]

Here's what previous SN attempts reported when it comes to the pain:

Successful attempts:

Moonicide : 25g in luke warm water drank through straw to help with taste, 48 hour regimen meto, 1000mg ibuprofen, 1000mg gabapentin, 800mg Tagamet, 8 hour fasting, throat and stomach burning afterward, pain rated 3.5/10, after 5 minutes needed to lay down, heart beating fast, feeling really warm but no pain, vomited twice, after 10 minutes breathing heavily, gasping for air, sounds like choking. After 10 minutes breathing slows down, leg spasms and grunting and loud groaning sounds. After 15 minutes vomits again, unconscious after 20 minutes. Witness did not think it was entirely peaceful.

Chat room: 25g, 72 hours regimen meto, 6 hour fast, ranitidine, tasted bad, burning throat, breathing slowly, 20 minutes after ingesting vomited violent, sounds indicated it became a very tough experience, horrible respiratory sounds, really distressing, don't know when she fell unconscious but we didn't talk anymore, 45 minutes after drinking she stopped breathing and dead (report from person who was on the telephone while someone took SN, could hear noises and groaning, did not think it was peaceful).

gambardella: 2 tablespoons in as little water as possible, 48 hour regimen with metopimazine, fasted for 8 hours, sleeping pills (doxylamine) 30 mins before the SN drink, 1000mg paracetamol but no antacids. Slight stomach discomfort and throat hurts a bit, heart beating super-fast!

trynacbt: 48 hour regimen meto, 400mg ibuprofen, 3mg Lexotan, 800mg Tagamet, slight burning at back of throat, fast heartbeat, some nausea, feel thirsty, really peaceful, feel sedated, limbs heavy, anxious, drowsy.

Kvothe_alThor: 20g, 48 hour regimen with meto, 300mg ranitidine, after 3 minutes fast heartbeat, feel dizzy but no pain.

timetogo: 2 tablespoons in 50ml water, 3 x 75mg ranitidine, fast for 36 hours, throat warm, heaving but not vomiting, do not feel nauseous, hands falling asleep, pain, vomiting swallow back, cannot breathe.

Funkygibbon: SN in 20 capsules, vomited but had recently eaten, turned blue, no pain, vision going spotty.

Kukubananas: 3 teaspoons SN (approx.. 17-18g), 100mg of dimenhydrinate, 50 mg of meclizine, 800mg of Tagamet, fasted for about 18 hours, fast heartbeat, very nauseous, no headache, cannot breathe, vomited, back of throat hurts, keep coughing, dizzy, stomach feels funny, hot, hard to concentrate, like being drunk, nausea passed after a while, hands shaky, body feels heavy, no energy, feel faint.



SS UNSUCCESSFUL

drakewantstogo: 17g, stat dose of 30mg metoclopramide, 225mg Zantac, fasted for more than 8 hours, after 5 minutes vomited 3 times, after 15 minutes did not feel drowsy, felt happy and excited at first but then felt anxiety, mild dissociation, blindness, felt bad – pain 6/10, called emergency services, arrived 45 minutes after intake.

Querry1: 15g in 60ml water, stat dose of weak antiemetic, fasted for 6 hours, heart beating fast, vomited after 20 minutes, after 30 minutes felt unbearable pain 6-7/10, called emergency services, blacked out after 1 hour.

ultraviolet sin: 20g drank over an hour, regimen meto, Xanax, no fasting, didn't vomit, didn't hurt, felt euphoric, found by police in hotel room 1 hour 40 minutes after, "out of it" while being treated.

X-Kid: 2 tablespoons in 1.5 cups water, had two sips, 8mg ondansetron afterward, felt fine but burning in nostrils, unconscious after 20 minutes, no pain, roommate found him passed out with blue/grey face and called emergency services, doctors claimed would be dead if not found.

Divine Trinity: Took SN and other than the burning sensations (minor to me), I can't remember much after lying down. The burning is similar to acid reflux in the oesophagus and stomach, slightly worse since it lingers. Only reason I survived was because someone called the cops after I was under, woke up handcuffed to the hospital bed.

Funkygibbon: 8 or 9 SN in capsules, went outside for a cigarette, within 10mins I was found because a neighbour walked past, my lips were blue and I was ghostly white, my only symptoms were a massive headache, I didn't feel sick or anything, my neighbour called an ambulance.

L0ne1ygh0st: 15g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, stat dose quetiapine, vomited, sore throat, headache, fast heartbeat but peaceful, boyfriend found her and called emergency services.

Eden2k: SN in sips at first, felt nauseous but didn't vomit, gulped down the rest, vomited in 10 minutes, severe headache, pain in my lower part of my back and stomach cramps probably down to vomiting, hadn't eaten or taken anti-acid or antiemetics, assumed it hadn't worked so lied down because I had the headache from hell, woke up early hours the next day, looked in the mirror, discolouration of skin, tried to get out of bed but stumbled and knocked things down, other customers in the hotel room next door reporting loud crashing from my room, hotel staff let themselves in when they couldn't get a response, had passed out on the floor.

Lunar: 15g in 60ml of water, stat dose meto (40mg), 4 x 75g Ranitidine, 1000mg Ibuprofen, fasted 8 hours, fast heartbeat, no pain, sleepy and relaxed.

Readytoendit: 20g, no antiemetic, 800mg Tagamet, advil, slight headache and nausea after 3 minutes, not a great deal of pain, felt peaceful about the decision.

Minudah: 5 teaspoons in ½ cup DMSO, ¾ rubbed into skin, no antiemetics, abdominal pain, mouth dry, dizzy, lethargic, weak, vision going black, headache, bad chest pains, muscle pains, fatigue, nauseous, stiffness, shaking, called emergency services.

Notf1xable: 25g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, zolfran, antacid, 8 hour fast, vomited after drinking, burned going down, didn't finish full dose, lay down, sweaty, dizzy, vision affected, sore body like flu, feeling out of it, called emergency services.

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

Here's what previous SN attempts reported when it comes to the pain:

Successful attempts:

Moonicide : 25g in luke warm water drank through straw to help with taste, 48 hour regimen meto, 1000mg ibuprofen, 1000mg gabapentin, 800mg Tagamet, 8 hour fasting, throat and stomach burning afterward, pain rated 3.5/10, after 5 minutes needed to lay down, heart beating fast, feeling really warm but no pain, vomited twice, after 10 minutes breathing heavily, gasping for air, sounds like choking. After 10 minutes breathing slows down, leg spasms and grunting and loud groaning sounds. After 15 minutes vomits again, unconscious after 20 minutes. Witness did not think it was entirely peaceful.

Chat room: 25g, 72 hours regimen meto, 6 hour fast, ranitidine, tasted bad, burning throat, breathing slowly, 20 minutes after ingesting vomited violent, sounds indicated it became a very tough experience, horrible respiratory sounds, really distressing, don't know when she fell unconscious but we didn't talk anymore, 45 minutes after drinking she stopped breathing and dead (report from person who was on the telephone while someone took SN, could hear noises and groaning, did not think it was peaceful).

gambardella: 2 tablespoons in as little water as possible, 48 hour regimen with metopimazine, fasted for 8 hours, sleeping pills (doxylamine) 30 mins before the SN drink, 1000mg paracetamol but no antacids. Slight stomach discomfort and throat hurts a bit, heart beating super-fast!

trynacbt: 48 hour regimen meto, 400mg ibuprofen, 3mg Lexotan, 800mg Tagamet, slight burning at back of throat, fast heartbeat, some nausea, feel thirsty, really peaceful, feel sedated, limbs heavy, anxious, drowsy.

Kvothe_alThor: 20g, 48 hour regimen with meto, 300mg ranitidine, after 3 minutes fast heartbeat, feel dizzy but no pain.

timetogo: 2 tablespoons in 50ml water, 3 x 75mg ranitidine, fast for 36 hours, throat warm, heaving but not vomiting, do not feel nauseous, hands falling asleep, pain, vomiting swallow back, cannot breathe.

Funkygibbon: SN in 20 capsules, vomited but had recently eaten, turned blue, no pain, vision going spotty.

Kukubananas: 3 teaspoons SN (approx.. 17-18g), 100mg of dimenhydrinate, 50 mg of meclizine, 800mg of Tagamet, fasted for about 18 hours, fast heartbeat, very nauseous, no headache, cannot breathe, vomited, back of throat hurts, keep coughing, dizzy, stomach feels funny, hot, hard to concentrate, like being drunk, nausea passed after a while, hands shaky, body feels heavy, no energy, feel faint.



SS UNSUCCESSFUL

drakewantstogo: 17g, stat dose of 30mg metoclopramide, 225mg Zantac, fasted for more than 8 hours, after 5 minutes vomited 3 times, after 15 minutes did not feel drowsy, felt happy and excited at first but then felt anxiety, mild dissociation, blindness, felt bad – pain 6/10, called emergency services, arrived 45 minutes after intake.

Querry1: 15g in 60ml water, stat dose of weak antiemetic, fasted for 6 hours, heart beating fast, vomited after 20 minutes, after 30 minutes felt unbearable pain 6-7/10, called emergency services, blacked out after 1 hour.

ultraviolet sin: 20g drank over an hour, regimen meto, Xanax, no fasting, didn't vomit, didn't hurt, felt euphoric, found by police in hotel room 1 hour 40 minutes after, "out of it" while being treated.

X-Kid: 2 tablespoons in 1.5 cups water, had two sips, 8mg ondansetron afterward, felt fine but burning in nostrils, unconscious after 20 minutes, no pain, roommate found him passed out with blue/grey face and called emergency services, doctors claimed would be dead if not found.

Divine Trinity: Took SN and other than the burning sensations (minor to me), I can't remember much after lying down. The burning is similar to acid reflux in the oesophagus and stomach, slightly worse since it lingers. Only reason I survived was because someone called the cops after I was under, woke up handcuffed to the hospital bed.

Funkygibbon: 8 or 9 SN in capsules, went outside for a cigarette, within 10mins I was found because a neighbour walked past, my lips were blue and I was ghostly white, my only symptoms were a massive headache, I didn't feel sick or anything, my neighbour called an ambulance.

L0ne1ygh0st: 15g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, stat dose quetiapine, vomited, sore throat, headache, fast heartbeat but peaceful, boyfriend found her and called emergency services.

Eden2k: SN in sips at first, felt nauseous but didn't vomit, gulped down the rest, vomited in 10 minutes, severe headache, pain in my lower part of my back and stomach cramps probably down to vomiting, hadn't eaten or taken anti-acid or antiemetics, assumed it hadn't worked so lied down because I had the headache from hell, woke up early hours the next day, looked in the mirror, discolouration of skin, tried to get out of bed but stumbled and knocked things down, other customers in the hotel room next door reporting loud crashing from my room, hotel staff let themselves in when they couldn't get a response, had passed out on the floor.

Lunar: 15g in 60ml of water, stat dose meto (40mg), 4 x 75g Ranitidine, 1000mg Ibuprofen, fasted 8 hours, fast heartbeat, no pain, sleepy and relaxed.

Readytoendit: 20g, no antiemetic, 800mg Tagamet, advil, slight headache and nausea after 3 minutes, not a great deal of pain, felt peaceful about the decision.

Minudah: 5 teaspoons in ½ cup DMSO, ¾ rubbed into skin, no antiemetics, abdominal pain, mouth dry, dizzy, lethargic, weak, vision going black, headache, bad chest pains, muscle pains, fatigue, nauseous, stiffness, shaking, called emergency services.

Notf1xable: 25g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, zolfran, antacid, 8 hour fast, vomited after drinking, burned going down, didn't finish full dose, lay down, sweaty, dizzy, vision affected, sore body like flu, feeling out of it, called emergency services.

This post has made me want to go with N instead of SN.

 

[Shu]

I'll take benzos as well. But I know how much I can take and I will definitely not take too many so that I won't be that sedated. I'll probably take 3-4x15mg

It is a lot better than other methods yes. And yeah this is the internet, and we're talking about dying. So I guess wanting no pain, unless it was taking N, is just ridiculous of me.

Yeah I did. Yeah you're really lucky you got yours ... I guess I'm gonna give up waiting for it any longer than 2 months. I was even considering ordering it again, but it would be silly if there is no chance whatever of getting it.

And yeah you're right. I should think of it as being lucky to even have a viable method at hand, with confirmed pure SN and all the meds I need to make it work... And yes. The pain won't last forever. Thank you for your input.

Thank you for your input. I do not have stomach ulcers, so you're right my fear isn't justified then. I'm glad. I don't even know where I got the fear from. Maybe I've just been so focused on getting my N that I kind of developed a repulsion towards SN.

And you're right. Compared to the violent methods, it is golden. I've tried hanging several times and I just can't do it. Doesn't work. So I must be grateful for even having gotten hold of SN before they shut off the supply of that. I guess ctb is a whole mental process where we must convince ourselves to do it.

You're actually mostly right. I guess I just created an irrational fear of it. Here's a link to some of the success/failure stories with SN:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-successful-and-unsuccessful.30211/

Thank you for this well written explanation.

Too paranoid to call them I guess....

That's kind of you. I guess I'm nice enough, and no I'm not absolutely sure until I actually end up doing it. It's a long process. I'm trying to make a well thought through decision, watching lectures on death and suicide, reading books about it, and writing my own texts on it as to reflect on why I want to do it.

You mentioned that you tried hanging. Do you mind if I ask what part wasen't working? Partial? Si?

 

[hopelessgirl]

You mentioned that you tried hanging. Do you mind if I ask what part wasen't working? Partial? Si?

Tried full and partial. Full I couldn't do it because it just hurts to much. Partial, just couldn't get unconscious. Also hurts too much. Gives a throbbing headache. It's just a lot more difficult than it seems. At least for me. I envy those who can. However I've watched some videos on the choking game, and people have accidentally hanged themselves without Even meaning to, so if you do it right it's not supposed to be that hard.... I just can't seem to do it.

This post has made me want to go with N instead of SN.

Sorry bout that. N is the first choice for me. But I couldn't get it. So it's SN for me. I'm sorry that I made you more aware of the side effects, but personally I prefer being prepared for it..and actually to me, these symptoms seem acceptable to me. Except for the can't breathe part. That sounds horrible to me.

 

[Graytaichi]

Cant breathe part is the only way out for a few mins. U be knocked off after that. Think carefully before u commit as u be placed in a psy ward if failed and fingers pointing at why u do that. People have no compassion .

 

[Shu]

WWhat

Here's what previous SN attempts reported when it comes to the pain:

Successful attempts:

Moonicide : 25g in luke warm water drank through straw to help with taste, 48 hour regimen meto, 1000mg ibuprofen, 1000mg gabapentin, 800mg Tagamet, 8 hour fasting, throat and stomach burning afterward, pain rated 3.5/10, after 5 minutes needed to lay down, heart beating fast, feeling really warm but no pain, vomited twice, after 10 minutes breathing heavily, gasping for air, sounds like choking. After 10 minutes breathing slows down, leg spasms and grunting and loud groaning sounds. After 15 minutes vomits again, unconscious after 20 minutes. Witness did not think it was entirely peaceful.

Chat room: 25g, 72 hours regimen meto, 6 hour fast, ranitidine, tasted bad, burning throat, breathing slowly, 20 minutes after ingesting vomited violent, sounds indicated it became a very tough experience, horrible respiratory sounds, really distressing, don't know when she fell unconscious but we didn't talk anymore, 45 minutes after drinking she stopped breathing and dead (report from person who was on the telephone while someone took SN, could hear noises and groaning, did not think it was peaceful).

gambardella: 2 tablespoons in as little water as possible, 48 hour regimen with metopimazine, fasted for 8 hours, sleeping pills (doxylamine) 30 mins before the SN drink, 1000mg paracetamol but no antacids. Slight stomach discomfort and throat hurts a bit, heart beating super-fast!

trynacbt: 48 hour regimen meto, 400mg ibuprofen, 3mg Lexotan, 800mg Tagamet, slight burning at back of throat, fast heartbeat, some nausea, feel thirsty, really peaceful, feel sedated, limbs heavy, anxious, drowsy.

Kvothe_alThor: 20g, 48 hour regimen with meto, 300mg ranitidine, after 3 minutes fast heartbeat, feel dizzy but no pain.

timetogo: 2 tablespoons in 50ml water, 3 x 75mg ranitidine, fast for 36 hours, throat warm, heaving but not vomiting, do not feel nauseous, hands falling asleep, pain, vomiting swallow back, cannot breathe.

Funkygibbon: SN in 20 capsules, vomited but had recently eaten, turned blue, no pain, vision going spotty.

Kukubananas: 3 teaspoons SN (approx.. 17-18g), 100mg of dimenhydrinate, 50 mg of meclizine, 800mg of Tagamet, fasted for about 18 hours, fast heartbeat, very nauseous, no headache, cannot breathe, vomited, back of throat hurts, keep coughing, dizzy, stomach feels funny, hot, hard to concentrate, like being drunk, nausea passed after a while, hands shaky, body feels heavy, no energy, feel faint.



SS UNSUCCESSFUL

drakewantstogo: 17g, stat dose of 30mg metoclopramide, 225mg Zantac, fasted for more than 8 hours, after 5 minutes vomited 3 times, after 15 minutes did not feel drowsy, felt happy and excited at first but then felt anxiety, mild dissociation, blindness, felt bad – pain 6/10, called emergency services, arrived 45 minutes after intake.

Querry1: 15g in 60ml water, stat dose of weak antiemetic, fasted for 6 hours, heart beating fast, vomited after 20 minutes, after 30 minutes felt unbearable pain 6-7/10, called emergency services, blacked out after 1 hour.

ultraviolet sin: 20g drank over an hour, regimen meto, Xanax, no fasting, didn't vomit, didn't hurt, felt euphoric, found by police in hotel room 1 hour 40 minutes after, "out of it" while being treated.

X-Kid: 2 tablespoons in 1.5 cups water, had two sips, 8mg ondansetron afterward, felt fine but burning in nostrils, unconscious after 20 minutes, no pain, roommate found him passed out with blue/grey face and called emergency services, doctors claimed would be dead if not found.

Divine Trinity: Took SN and other than the burning sensations (minor to me), I can't remember much after lying down. The burning is similar to acid reflux in the oesophagus and stomach, slightly worse since it lingers. Only reason I survived was because someone called the cops after I was under, woke up handcuffed to the hospital bed.

Funkygibbon: 8 or 9 SN in capsules, went outside for a cigarette, within 10mins I was found because a neighbour walked past, my lips were blue and I was ghostly white, my only symptoms were a massive headache, I didn't feel sick or anything, my neighbour called an ambulance.

L0ne1ygh0st: 15g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, stat dose quetiapine, vomited, sore throat, headache, fast heartbeat but peaceful, boyfriend found her and called emergency services.

Eden2k: SN in sips at first, felt nauseous but didn't vomit, gulped down the rest, vomited in 10 minutes, severe headache, pain in my lower part of my back and stomach cramps probably down to vomiting, hadn't eaten or taken anti-acid or antiemetics, assumed it hadn't worked so lied down because I had the headache from hell, woke up early hours the next day, looked in the mirror, discolouration of skin, tried to get out of bed but stumbled and knocked things down, other customers in the hotel room next door reporting loud crashing from my room, hotel staff let themselves in when they couldn't get a response, had passed out on the floor.

Lunar: 15g in 60ml of water, stat dose meto (40mg), 4 x 75g Ranitidine, 1000mg Ibuprofen, fasted 8 hours, fast heartbeat, no pain, sleepy and relaxed.

Readytoendit: 20g, no antiemetic, 800mg Tagamet, advil, slight headache and nausea after 3 minutes, not a great deal of pain, felt peaceful about the decision.

Minudah: 5 teaspoons in ½ cup DMSO, ¾ rubbed into skin, no antiemetics, abdominal pain, mouth dry, dizzy, lethargic, weak, vision going black, headache, bad chest pains, muscle pains, fatigue, nauseous, stiffness, shaking, called emergency services.

Notf1xable: 25g in 100ml water, no antiemetic, zolfran, antacid, 8 hour fast, vomited after drinking, burned going down, didn't finish full dose, lay down, sweaty, dizzy, vision affected, sore body like flu, feeling out of it, called emergency services.

What upsets me about this is most of the people who were unsuccessful in the list above took a stat dose.

 

[demuic]

WWhat

What upsets me about this is most of the people who were unsuccessful in the list above took a stat dose.

And they also either got found or called emergency services themselves.

 

[Shu]

And they also either got found or called emergency services themselves

Yeah but now it's got me worried that maybe taking the stat dose caused them even more discomfort which made made want to call for emergency services. Maybe they were having symptoms from the meto or something that caused it to be worse. Idk what I'm saying.