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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
Can I ask how many of us are in early twenties and what's the worst thing that is making your life impossible? Anything is welcome questions are also welcome I would want to reply but if I am uncomfortable answering something then we both have the choice to not answer. I hope It's okay.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,801
Can I ask how many of us are in early twenties and what's the worst thing that is making your life impossible? Anything is welcome questions are also welcome I would want to reply but if I am uncomfortable answering something then we both have the choice to not answer. I hope It's okay.
No girlfriend, no (reasonable) possibility of ever getting one. My dick is also fucked (well, not literally).

That's about it for me. Nothing that pushed me into ctbing on the spot. So, I've been thrashing about ever since I stopped being attractive to women, causing pointless harm to myself and others (that's for around seven years now).
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
past, present, future
past: 23 lifelong (obviously at least up to this point) trauma
present: mental illnesses caused by or influenced by said trauma
future: physical problems and i havent even hit old age yet
 
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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
No girlfriend, no (reasonable) possibility of ever getting one. My dick is also fucked (well, not literally).

That's about it for me. Nothing that pushed me into ctbing on the spot. So, I've been thrashing about ever since I stopped being attractive to women, causing pointless harm to myself and others (that's for around seven years now).
I can feel it sorry I don't either and even when a girl says she likes me or loves me I push them away and they don't know about me what I know so yeah there is a lot but this one is in accordance with your answer: they won't get satisfied with me so yeah it can be hurtful but I don't feel like a guy anymore pretty weak and dizzy the whole time from disease it has affected me but I won't say this is the only reason I actually push them away so much but this isn't really the worst thing but a consequence of worst thing in my life.
Another short story: I realised I would only talk to a girl of she is attracted to me physically one went as far as saying she loves me but I got so paranoid although I knew and accepted I have no chance and would let her go but that only helped me grow estranged when she said she doesn't care about looks when I didn't even ask and it felt like she doesn't doesn't think I am attractive. Lol at some point I used to think I look fine but when this girl said It, it just hurt me because I loved her I found her attractive but was just hurting myself so she doesn't have to settle for me and my inability to give women what they need gave me the courage to say no and she doesn't even know because but she did that and I also forgave I know she has no clue but who talks about these openly so I kept it to myself. So this is the short story and it's a consequence of my problems I think. I can feel for you we just want to give it up after sometime but as long as I am a human I would keep relapsing and tricking my brain and going back to them but yeah.
past, present, future
past: 23 lifelong (obviously at least up to this point) trauma
present: mental illnesses caused by or influenced by said trauma
future: physical problems and i havent even hit old age yet
I feel it I am sorry yes it can go wrong even when you are in a healthy environment trauma is the easiest thing to get in this world now and it would just worsen everything and yeah my physical problems are already good enough I think half of it comes from this I feel I understand why you are concerned. Really I would say good physical health would be a blessing for me. If you have just mental issues they don't convert into physical but if you have physical they can convert into mental and you have both now but some psychological issues are the worst so none is what anyone wants.
 
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Fktw0rld

Fktw0rld

An end with suffering > Suffering without an end
Aug 29, 2022
404
I'm in my early 40's but I can tell you about my 20's experience. By 23 I was diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder and dissociative identity disorder. I would have been much better off not surviving my time in the military. But I was strong back then and I fought hard to live because I thought life had value. Little did I know I was gonna come out the other end of it as a detached hollow shell of the kid who joined.

Respect🙏
 
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Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
I'm in my early 40's but I can tell you about my 20's experience. By 23 I was diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder and dissociative identity disorder. I would have been much better off not surviving my time in the military. But I was strong back then and I fought hard to live because I thought life had value. Little did I know I was gonna come out the other end of it as a detached hollow shell of the kid who joined.

Respect🙏
Sorry I feel for you army vets have these really and I don't know how life is going to be or have expectations or want to blame life but I can say one thing if you lived it didn't go to waste. you served your country which is a very big accomplishment. Vets need to be treated well. I commend your strength regardless of what life seems to me or seems to you now. Sorry if I said anything wrong I know your life hasn't been good but your strength must have affected else it could have been worse or better but now we are here and I think for me that would be a very big accomplishment but I can't even run tbh without falling now or getting fatigued now.
I'm in my early 40's but I can tell you about my 20's experience. By 23 I was diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder and dissociative identity disorder. I would have been much better off not surviving my time in the military. But I was strong back then and I fought hard to live because I thought life had value. Little did I know I was gonna come out the other end of it as a detached hollow shell of the kid who joined.

Respect🙏
I only have respect for you people
 
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rainysummer

rainysummer

x.x
Aug 23, 2022
24
I'm in my early 40's but I can tell you about my 20's experience. By 23 I was diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder and dissociative identity disorder. I would have been much better off not surviving my time in the military. But I was strong back then and I fought hard to live because I thought life had value. Little did I know I was gonna come out the other end of it as a detached hollow shell of the kid who joined.

Respect🙏
i'm 18 and just this week my psychiatrist told me I have DID. i'm pretty freaked out about it, especially because i don't remember any significant childhood trauma or ages 6 to 7.5 ;-; it's a sad reality to have this disorder. hope you are doing a little better
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,568
no gf poor dental health and dislocating left shoulder 10 times goes weak and limp plus a damaged stomach linging thoese where the things holding me back before my brain injury
 
H

[HNO]

Experienced
Aug 21, 2022
283
ill be 20 next year. hope it counts
sleepy and can't concentrate 24/7, junk diet, poor sleep, daily backpains. fragile body that easily faints, i experience dozens postural hypotensions per day like some hospice patient on heavy medication. feel like i'm fucked in the head no matter what. don't care about life or society anymore as i want no more than release from this life not being engaged in this pointless drama. i don't care about getting girlfriend at all and never tried as i spend half of the day edging on porn besides i'm too ugly and autistic to get one. no job to escape from fam and euthanize myself in peace.
this all perfectly fit in a definition of 'living corpse'
 
Fktw0rld

Fktw0rld

An end with suffering > Suffering without an end
Aug 29, 2022
404
Sorry I feel for you army vets have these really and I don't know how life is going to be or have expectations or want to blame life but I can say one thing if you lived it didn't go to waste. you served your country which is a very big accomplishment. Vets need to be treated well. I commend your strength regardless of what life seems to me or seems to you now. Sorry if I said anything wrong I know your life hasn't been good but your strength must have affected else it could have been worse or better but now we are here and I think for me that would be a very big accomplishment but I can't even run tbh without falling now or getting fatigued now.

I only have respect for you people
Thank you for your kind words and feedback.

Yes, my post military years may have went much better if those who worked for the VA hospitals had a similar mindset as yourself. Unfortunately none of them do. They're in it to line their pockets with federal funding and have zero care in the world when it pertains to combat veterans. Ha! I made it this far without their help. But I'm too tired now. I'm no longer in the fight.

Regardless. I wish you the very best in whichever path you choose at your age.

Love and respect 🙏
i'm 18 and just this week my psychiatrist told me I have DID. i'm pretty freaked out about it, especially because i don't remember any significant childhood trauma or ages 6 to 7.5 ;-; it's a sad reality to have this disorder. hope you are doing a little better
I've come to learn that my DID "demons" have been the most powerful over the years. They've dragged me to darker places than my ptsd and depression ever could. If you have any fight left in you than seek the best help, specifically, psychiatric professionals that specialize is dissociative identity disorder. There's a lot of fakes out there who add DID to their portfolio so you'll have to sift through them, unfortunately. But if you have no fight left in you than let them do what they do. Your SI will remain extremely low. It won't be a matter of if; just when and where.

Whichever road you choose I wish you the absolute best and most peaceful journey🙏
Sorry I feel for you army vets have these really and I don't know how life is going to be or have expectations or want to blame life but I can say one thing if you lived it didn't go to waste. you served your country which is a very big accomplishment. Vets need to be treated well. I commend your strength regardless of what life seems to me or seems to you now. Sorry if I said anything wrong I know your life hasn't been good but your strength must have affected else it could have been worse or better but now we are here and I think for me that would be a very big accomplishment but I can't even run tbh without falling now or getting fatigued now.

I only have respect for you people
@Littlewittlelight your second response reminded me of this and gave me a laugh so I had to share🤣

Screenshot 20220914 093922
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,244
I'm in my early 20's, I'm 21 yet it feels like I have existed for such a long time. It's horrifying the thought of enduring this life for many more decades. I just hate how the life expectancy is so long.
The thing that I have a problem with is life itself. There is absolutely nothing desirable about living and my hatred of suffering makes me want to leave. To permanently cease to exist would be the best possible thing. I'm tired of being trapped in this human body and the fact that things can very easily get much worse at any moment is horrifying.
 
Littlewittlelight

Littlewittlelight

Specialist
Sep 3, 2022
347
Thank you for your kind words and feedback.

Yes, my post military years may have went much better if those who worked for the VA hospitals had a similar mindset as yourself. Unfortunately none of them do. They're in it to line their pockets with federal funding and have zero care in the world when it pertains to combat veterans. Ha! I made it this far without their help. But I'm too tired now. I'm no longer in the fight.

Regardless. I wish you the very best in whichever path you choose at your age.

Love and respect 🙏

I've come to learn that my DID "demons" have been the most powerful over the years. They've dragged me to darker places than my ptsd and depression ever could. If you have any fight left in you than seek the best help, specifically, psychiatric professionals that specialize is dissociative identity disorder. There's a lot of fakes out there who add DID to their portfolio so you'll have to sift through them, unfortunately. But if you have no fight left in you than let them do what they do. Your SI will remain extremely low. It won't be a matter of if; just when and where.

Whichever road you choose I wish you the absolute best and most peaceful journey🙏

@Littlewittlelight your second response reminded me of this and gave me a laugh so I had to share🤣

View attachment 98282
My pleasure and I really do and you won't believe but I have a thing for this. I used to watch a lot of documentaries on this on a channel called Wonder and how they are trained. I used to watch about special forces it wasn't just like a espace but also a reminder some people are so resilient and you people just go through a lot when you are in battlefield. Many of you have PTSD as a result of doing something that you don't want. I used to see there drills especially marine corps or Navy seals their documentaries and how there service years were they would tell story I remember seeing that and I always liked it. I remember seeing about SSG, Marcos and their strikes. I just have a corner for US vets I am not being partial but I admire strong vets still and lol I am glad It made you laugh you made me laugh too with that one. I didn't know I was talking to a vet until now and moreover US one hopefully. I am partial to them. Really sorry I am just a burden I can't even do something for the people I love or admire but I only have words and I could tell you more on how I admire defence personnels. I miss those days of scouting and I would feel a rush those days until everything was fine and I would salute at a 45° angle because I was an air scout.
I hope you find peace and your days are a lil better atleast regardless of what happens.
I'm in my early 20's, I'm 21 yet it feels like I have existed for such a long time. It's horrifying the thought of enduring this life for many more decades. I just hate how the life expectancy is so long.
The thing that I have a problem with is life itself. There is absolutely nothing desirable about living and my hatred of suffering makes me want to leave. To permanently cease to exist would be the best possible thing. I'm tired of being trapped in this human body and the fact that things can very easily get much worse at any moment is horrifying.
life is very unpredictable and feeling trapped in this is horrible and unbearable sometimes for some people like us who are here.
 
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yuno

yuno

person
Sep 10, 2022
42
I turned 21 recently. I've been depressed for almost all my life. Traumatized in my youth. Trust issues. Poor social skills. Self sabotage. Recently my therapist said I have zero self confidence. It felt more like an insult in the moment, but he's right. I have always hated myself with a passion. I keep digging myself in a whole I won't be able to crawl out of. I'm still alive now and for a bit longer because I've found something to barely cling on to, but it hardly feels strong enough sometimes.
 
L

Lifeaballache

Student
Aug 28, 2022
163
I'm 26 and life has completely fucked me over again. I feel guilt tripped into staying here and hoping things will get better or just dying and being at peace...
 

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