Can someone explain to me

[hunter_lewis]

why if a person dies of cancer or a natural cause, people are very sad but accept it as tragic but if a person kills themselves because of chronic pain, people say 'You are so selfish, why didn't you think of us?'

 

[Ashpac]

That really annoys me too.

Theres many reasons but the one that stands out to me the most is people would rather see you struggle and in pain so they can be with you instead of you leaving them since it will hurt their feelings. We wouldnt want their feelings hurt after all, would we?!

 

[Desperate_Soul]

I guess it all comes down to having a choice. The first one seems that it can't be stopped, but the second seems like it can be stopped.

 

[jaemus12]

That really annoys me too.

Theres many reasons but the one that stands out to me the most is people would rather see you struggle and in pain so they can be with you instead of you leaving them since it will hurt their feelings. We wouldnt want their feelings hurt after all, would we?!

But why can't they understand that me leaving them is to not hurt them in the long run. This pain I have will only become a burden to them if I don't leave now. Everyone gets affected -the longer I struggle, the longer they struggle- I'd rather leave them and have them hurt a little and then move on with their lives without a burden like me.

 

[NOT SURE ANYMORE]

Because people only care about themselves and say its selfish because they want someone to have a cup of tea with or make them feel better about their own lives. This is your pain and you should decide when enough is enough.

 

[EternalSanction]

People assume suicide is a choice (which it is technically). They mostly forget about the things leading you there and that for many people suicide is not a choice but the only way to end their suffering basically.

 

[Nlnp2]

A few things I've learned by living in this rotten world
1. Either you please yourself, or you'll please everyone else instead and never be happy
2.Truth is truth regardless if others get it or not

Killing yourself in spite of your family feelings it's not about being selfish, it's about priorities and self love. It's thinking outside the box. Your own family would want you to die if they themselves understood your situation.

To me personally the knowing that my mom made me without giving a shit about my future suffering, it's enough to not take her opinion about my unnatural death into consideration.

 

[Dean]

At the end of the day no matter how much you think you love someone you only love what they provide for you. Parents may love their kids but really they love living through them, feeling young again, have someone who worships them, ect. So when you are killing yourself you are denying everyone else what they got from you. If they truly love/cared for you they would be more upset that you reached a point of suicide than worrying about whether you were thinking of them.

People also project their own fears and insecurities. At the end of the day, when someone kills themselves, everyone else remembers that life eventually ends one way or another and its not some holy magical thing that everyone thinks it is. People love to say "life isn't fair" or "life is suffering". yet never question why we choose to go through with it. Most people pretend we don't have a choice, but a suicide reminds everyone that ultimately we have a choice.

 

[Ashpac]

Most people pretend we don't have a choice, but a suicide reminds everyone that ultimately we have a choice.

I like that alot. Very true.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Most people pretend we don't have a choice but a suicide reminds everyone that ultimately we have a choice.

I like that alot. Very true.

Truelly well said!!

I think it's a choice that no one really considers until you get to breaking point. A lot of people in cushidy lives never get to the depths a lot of us here feel so can't comprehend why someone would do it. They think that things can get better and it's a spur of the moment thing. They live in a deluded reality controlled by the powers to be and lap up the shit that they are fed everyday.

Why I think suicide is a taboo in most of society's, its downplayed as much as possible, without people realising how much courage it would take to actually go through with it and the amount of pain that person must be in.

Unfortunately people are so wrapped up in their own lives they are unable to see the hurt in others. That's why people will call people like us selfish as they will only think about themselves.

 

[TTh]

And then they won't even try to help while the person is alive. Listening to how much you are suffering or offering to help with tasks like cleaning is an inconvenience most don't care for, but at the same time expecting one to live on for their sake and suffer a life of pain is totally fine and not selfish at all...

 

[NoHope]

why if a person dies of cancer or a natural cause, people are very sad but accept it as tragic but if a person kills themselves because of chronic pain, people say 'You are so selfish, why didn't you think of us?'

Many of them want to make it all about themselves. They want to keep us alive when we are suffering just so their own feelings won't be hurt. Some of them even think we don't have the right to "do this to them" and that we have to live just because they want us to. But they refuse to even consider our pain and the reasons that make us want to end this existense.
They also refuse to accept that nobody owes them their life and every person has the right to kill themselves, whether they like it or not.

 

[samhelloall9]

why if a person dies of cancer or a natural cause, people are very sad but accept it as tragic but if a person kills themselves because of chronic pain, people say 'You are so selfish, why didn't you think of us?'

I've been thinking of that many times over the last year or two. It's another human trait I strongly dislike. I just try not to think about it, and much like you've discovered, it's better to just think "well I could've easily ended up this or this" in everyday life.

 

[RacilyDank]

Because to them your pain is treatable/live withable and you can find purpose in your life despite it.

They don't understand because they are not the ones affected by it.

I think it's more selfish on their part actually.

It sounds fucked up by I'd prefer to have a terminal illness, at least that way they'd sympathise and I'd be forgiven for dying.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Because to them your pain is treatable/live withable and you can find purpose in your life despite it.

They don't understand because they are not the ones affected by it.

I think it's more selfish on their part actually.

It sounds fucked up by I'd prefer to have a terminal illness, at least that way they'd sympathise and I'd be forgiven for dying.

totally with you on that one-I am so jealous of people with cancer. If I had it, it would be God's sign for me to go home and I would leave it untreated according to my religious beliefs

 

[RacilyDank]

totally with you on that one-I am so jealous of people with cancer. If I had it, it would be God's sign for me to go home and I would leave it untreated according to my religious beliefs

Yeah it sounds fucked up to say it, but so am I. Whenever I hear of a person with cancer I think 'wish that was me' - sure they are suffering but at least there's an end to their suffering in sight (recovery/death). I'm not religious, but if I found out I had cancer right now I'd say 'ok cool, let's not treat it, gimme the morphine I'm ready to go' - people would sympathise and be there for me until I eventually passed and I'd be happy with that.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Yeah it sounds fucked up to say it, but so am I. Whenever I hear of a person with cancer I think 'wish that was me' - sure they are suffering but at least there's an end to their suffering in sight (recovery/death). I'm not religious, but if I found out I had cancer right now I'd say 'ok cool, let's not treat it, gimme the morphine I'm ready to go' - people would sympathise and be there for me until I eventually passed and I'd be happy with that.

totally feel you on that one. All God gave me was a painful chronic condition that is non lethal in every way -.-
A friend of mine passed from cancer 2 mth ago and I wish it had been me, not him

 

[RacilyDank]

totally feel you on that one. All God gave me was a painful chronic condition that is non lethal in every way -.-
A friend of mine passed from cancer 2 mth ago and I wish it had been me, not him

Shucks, it's a shame our chronic painful conditions aren't terminal. I don't think 'god' gave it to me - an unfortunate combination of genetics and bad decisions on my part only.

A relative of mine died of cancer several months ago after many years of fighting it. She was the most positive soul I'd ever met. I wish it was me instead because she wanted to live.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Shucks, it's a shame our chronic painful conditions aren't terminal. I don't think 'god' gave it to me - an unfortunate combination of genetics and bad decisions on my part only.

A relative of mine died of cancer several months ago after many years of fighting it. She was the most positive soul I'd ever met. I wish it was me instead because she wanted to live.

I believe in God and wish he would take my soul home, finally
If I had cancer I would be thrilled
Sorry for your friend:(

 

[RacilyDank]

I believe in God and wish he would take my soul home, finally
If I had cancer I would be thrilled
Sorry for your friend:(

I respect your beliefs and your right to have them even if I don't share them, but I think it's proof that faith doesn't solve anybodies problems.

I think if there was a god it wouldn't be the people who want to live that die and those who want to die live.

 

[Jerryman]

If I had terminal cancer I'm sure my mother would want me to fight it at every cost, she'd be really annoyed if I had an 'oh well never mind attitude'. I'd have to pretend to be upset about it and not tell her I'm refusing treatment. In reality I'd be thinking this is my ticket out of here, just bring on the pain relief till the end.