I just don't want to deal with it. I want them to view me as worthlessly as I view myself. I want them to not care when I CTB. How the hell do I do this!?
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Eyris
in death there is life
- May 2, 2023
- 16
try to slowly distance yourself by not responding as much or not showing up as much. but if you want to do it fast make yourself a burden to them and eventually they will not want to associate with you because you drag them down. it's going to be very difficult because they will care, but it just takes time. i wish you the best of luck
UsagiDrop
“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
- Apr 27, 2023
- 299
Personally, I don't think that's possible. It's a harsh reality to face. We can pretend to be the worst version of ourselves and push others away as much as we would like, but unless we do that for years in advance, it will not change the way our friends feel when we decide to carry out our plans. You could push people away months in advance and when you finally end it and they get the news, they will understand exactly why you were acting how you were acting toward them before. The image of you in their head will not change. If anything, it will only be renewed.
We have to be okay with hurting others if we are serious about our plans to ctb. It's inevitable, and I think that's only fair. In my opinion, there is very little we can do to cushion the blow of loss in their lives. They are humans who feel just like we do, so it's going to hurt them no matter what you do. Even if they understand why you choose to ctb and support you in that decision, it's still going to hurt them to some degree. I know it's not something that any of us want to hear but it's true in most cases. People that care for us will not view us how we see ourselves, they see and hold onto the best in us.
We have to be okay with hurting others if we are serious about our plans to ctb. It's inevitable, and I think that's only fair. In my opinion, there is very little we can do to cushion the blow of loss in their lives. They are humans who feel just like we do, so it's going to hurt them no matter what you do. Even if they understand why you choose to ctb and support you in that decision, it's still going to hurt them to some degree. I know it's not something that any of us want to hear but it's true in most cases. People that care for us will not view us how we see ourselves, they see and hold onto the best in us.
Man If you have to make it a damn party. Tell them to celebrate that they even crossed paths w u. I mean gg alins funeral was badass. That was my ex's song he sent me before he left this world. Look at all your mortuary options there's some kind of popular mortician on YouTube, there are SO many ways to make things how you want it to go. But legal man like on paper notorized not just a suicide note. Otherwise I'd of spread his ashes but his dad put him in the ground 
I've been a burden. They know about the state of my mind & they've only been trying to see me more. I think if I ignore them enough they'd call the cops.
Locolemonlenner_xx
Member
- May 4, 2023
- 7
This is hard. If they care for you, they would never want you to go. But I think you need to tell them that if they truly care about you they need to let you go. "If you love me, let me gooooooooooo (this is the beat of my heart)" a little song called "This is gospel". That's about drugs, but still.
Eyris
in death there is life
- May 2, 2023
- 16
then i think that making them not care is something that is off the table, I think you should be 100% real with them and tell them what you are going to do and send them the message after your at a hotel or some place where they cant call the cops to you immediately. I think this would be the best course because instead of surprising them with it out of the blue they will know that you are not leaving them without a goodbye making the reaction to your passing less toxic. it is impossible for you to get them to not care at all so trying to get them to accept it would be a solution that would put less stress on you.
much love
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 35,465
In that situation it sounds like it would be pretty difficult to do, and I personally wouldn't risk trying to distance myself from them, I think the best thing to do would be to act normally and not do anything that could indicate that you are planning to ctb as it could just make things worse if they somehow interfere with plans. But anyway if they are upset at your death it isn't like you will be there at that point, and we all have to die someday and nobody is obligated to stay here. Grief and loss are just an inevitable consequence of existing here.
Well, you can try and push them away by being a jerk. However, true friends are going to care regardless, while fake friends will just judge and insult you. If you're having thoughts like this, perhaps you should really do some honest inflection and get clarity on what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and perhaps another way of handling it. Not saying that you still won't want to ctb, but it sounds like you need some clarity with yourself. Robin Williams was one of the most beloved cultural figures in this society, yet that didn't stop him from going forward with what he did. At some point, you have to look within and get real, honest clarity with yourself and what you want to do. If your friend's care and concern is that important, you may have other options available to you that others don't.
Good luck and light in your journey!!!
wtg
Member
- Apr 2, 2023
- 39
