Help Can I get social friends by joining a cult (e.g. Jehovah's Witnesses)?

[Myforevercharlie]

Why not a " normal" church? From what I know most are very welcome to new people. I don't attend myself but one of my new neighbours that felt very lonely has joined one last year. She's now very involved with volunteer work and church get togethers.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Beware of these cults. These circles can seriously fckup your life. You are better off getting a dog.

 

[Adûnâi]

Focus on volunteering. I think you'll find people appreciative of your involvement and will be more likely to talk to you. Also you might find the activity fun.

Can you please explain what volunteering is? From my general knowledge, I have a perception that it's American Mormons going to feed African children. IT is probably not a culturally relevant thing here as we don't have either.

See, as I have no idea where even to begin, it's kind of difficult.

Why not a " normal" church?

Precisely because I'd expect normie churches to be activity-free and full of boomers that don't want sex?

Beware of these cults. These circles can seriously fckup your life. You are better off getting a dog.

Unfortunately, I'm not female, so I don't like pets.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Not a joke question. I'm Ukrainian, have never talked to a single human being aside from my mom for 27 years, certified high-functioning Asperger. I have zero concept of a social circle. Could I solve it by joining a local cult? I've seen Jehovah's Witnesses propagate in my town, could they be of any help? (After all, they're supposed to prey on the weak and vulnerable, haha.)

I've talked to them today, two elderly ladies, but they were so lukewarm, that we just stayed silent... greatly confusing me, as I prepared to be defensive against their incessant sales pitches. It was a cool experience - while I can talk in class, talking to a complete stranger put me in utter stupor, especially as my brain was racking through the questions which would have damaged the conversation (such as "Are you getting paid to spread propaganda leaflets?").

I don't know if there is a magic solution for making friends. Have you tried through a shared hobby?

I would advise against joining a cult, because they probably won't help you. They're more interested in spreading the cult & true believers, and to spread the cult you need to be able to make contacts anyway.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Since when don't men like pets?

You think Jehovah's witnesses have loads of sex? Bwahahaha!

 

[Adûnâi]

Since when don't men like pets?

Ideally, I'd like to be the pet in the relationship.

(In truth, it was a cryptic incel remark on my part about the so-called《dogpill,》 pls don't ban, I was so covert, nobody would have caught it.)

Have you tried through a shared hobby?

Could you unironically share what you mean by that exactly? Because again, I have no clue.

Meanwhile, let's build a hypothesis. I join courses to learn kanji. I go to the class, I sit there, I go home. Where and when do I form social connections?

I guess, dancing lessons would be more relevant. But are people forcefully paired there? I wouldn't like to touch a female who's not my partner anyway, it's worse than escortcelling. And more mundane things, I absolutely abhor the nightclub Latino music that's probably danced to here in the Ukraine. (Are there waltz classes instead? Should look into it, I guess.)

But even then, how exactly would I go about forming social relationships? Do I actually need therapy? Would a therapist let me practice on him? "I'm your girl, dance me."

 

[lifteddream]

I feel similar difficulties in making friends - from what I've seen, its hard to make new friends outside of school/jobs. But even in these I really struggled. I did find jobs to be easier to make friends, as the coworkers around you share the same confined space for ~8hr a day.
But it depends on the people, and the environment. A very competitive, hostile workplace will receive you differently than a friendly outgoing relaxed one.
Making friends through shared hobbies or volunteering is a great way to go as well.
But in all circumstances, you will need to learn social skills, small talk being the most important.
Reading a book like How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie can be a great resource, he used to be very popular especially with businessmen I think.
Therapy could be useful as a soundboard

 

[Adûnâi]

a book like How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I read it when I was little, all I remember from it is "listen to people" (not in the sense "obey" but literally listen).

What is volunteering?

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

Can you please explain what volunteering is? From my general knowledge, I have a perception that it's American Mormons going to feed African children. IT is probably not a culturally relevant thing here as we don't have either.

See, as I have no idea where even to begin, it's kind of difficult.


Precisely because I'd expect normie churches to be activity-free and full of boomers that don't want sex?


Unfortunately, I'm not female, so I don't like pets.

Therapy could really help you develop IRL social skills and coping mechanisms, and explain social interactions. The more you type, the more I realize we random Internet people aren't equipped to really help.

Stay away from incels and their language. Language affects behavior. You might not consider online interactions socializing, but language does affect the way you think and speak. That group is known to be angry and antisocial. You sound like you don't want to be either of those.

If you want to do this, I think you need to delete online accounts associated with questionable antisocial groups. These accounts are comfortable since they're what you know, but they are going to hamper or prevent you from learning.

You're going to have to unlearn a lot and learn about things you can't say. Myself and others have no idea or want to know what being female has to do with owning a dog.

You have a lot of ideas of what things are like, but have never checked them out or experienced them. You're going to need to check things out. Ask a family member if they could take you or if you could go along with them somewhere.

As far as dating, sex, relationships, all of that. You're going to need to learn to make friends, socialize, and talk to people first. Also learn to not hate yourself. You're going to make mistakes. That's ok you're trying and learning.

You're thinking missionaries. That...can fall under the umbrella of volunteering. You said you're in Ukraine. Check out this site:

Volunteering Ukraine - The ultimate guide

Your opportunity to change the lives of millions. Volunteering opportunities in Ukraine - feeding troops, building houses, supporting communities, growing connections. Together we can do great things.

www.volunteeringukraine.com

 

[Adûnâi]

You're thinking missionaries. That...can fall under the umbrella of volunteering. You said you're in Ukraine. Check out this site:

Please, could you explain what volunteering is? Is it done by NGOs? Is it exclusive to America? I'm just curious as to what you know. As to the Ukraine - isn't it for immigrants, foreigners, not local people? Yes, I'm using English because I have no idea what the local term for it is.

Anyway, I wouldn't like to help America ruin the Ukraine - not because my contribution would matter, but because my morality is one of the few things I hold onto.

Therapy could really help you develop IRL social skills and coping mechanisms, and explain social interactions. The more you type, the more I realize we random Internet people aren't equipped to really help.

Isn't it to the contrary? I saw the therapist - he asked 20 EUR for 50 min, and replied with absolutely nothing to my clear-cut questions. What do therapists even do?

Stay away from incels and their language. Language affects behavior.

Incels are Anglophonic. My IRL life is (or could be if it existed) Ukrainian.

Anyway, I have 600 posts on the incel forum while I registered my account there in April 2018. Sure, I've had around 400 posts in 2023 when I became more active (due to the girl who taught me to love this summer), but I fail miserably at socialising online as well. 400 posts is what people write in a few days.

Myself and others have no idea or want to know what being female has to do with owning a dog.

So, you're just not curious as to the paradoxes of the world? You're proud of being ignorant? I won't try to persuade you for you clearly do not deserve the effort, but just know that being proud of being ignorant is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I honestly could not imagine people being like this - until I asked my mom about some political topics, lmao.

If you want to do this, I think you need to delete online accounts associated with questionable antisocial groups. These accounts are comfortable since they're what you know, but they are going to hamper or prevent you from learning.

I have no idea where even to begin learning. And of course, I never ever delete my accounts - not that I use them much, see above. Deleting something is pure anathema to me, I'm an archiver. I only deleted a few photos when I was afraid for my life IRL (NOT creepshots, don't worry (see, I can think of creepshots because I don't shy away from thinking)).

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

Click the link and take a look. It shows examples of volunteering activities where people are needed in Ukraine. Nothing about US taking Ukraine. Look at activities like weaving camo netting for Ukraine, helping rebuild areas, helping people who are displaced, helping out at a hospital, helping out at animal shelters. Volunteering is basically helping others or performing a service for your community. As far as who the organizers are, it varies. The sizes could be local neighborhood group to International NGOs. It can be fun doing something you believe will help along with other people.

Therapist will help you to learn how to socialize. You do need to find someone who specializes with autistic spectrum. A typical therapist might not have experience with autistic spectrum patients and will be of limited usefulness to you.

Thank you for not explaining. Incel ideas have been like the 2 girls 1 cup of ideologies to me. I look and end up disgusted. I've learnt my lesson enough times.

You're already learning. Another lesson. Asbestos-free cereal. You now need to consider if the company had been or is selling products containing asbestos and if they have other problematic ingredients now. "NOT creepshots". I wasn't even thinking about creepshots, but I would wonder if you have creepshots or something worse.

Since you like learning, checkout game theory. It's a field of math with applications to social interaction.