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Blue_mist

Blue_mist

Mortal
Apr 14, 2021
229
I'm close to my 40a now and i have never been successful to have a relationship. Unfortunately gay community has very unrealistic standards, and i think I'll be always single until the day I die. Maybe I'm ugly or have unattractive personality i don't know. I work in palliative care facility seeing people suffer and die alone creeps me out. I don't want to be in their shoes one day. Even my close and extended family don't claim me anymore( they don't recognize me as one of them) because I'm gay. Deep inside me i see this a very valid reason to end it all.
 
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Bergamot

Bergamot

Sorry babe i love you..
Jan 25, 2021
125
Hate,bullism,violence,racism can kill you so yes
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
This world is certainly a cruel place and some people are very close-minded and can't understand the true meaning of love.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Well, you're still in time to find someone. Don't give up.
Those who don't understand the way you feel, can go to hell.

I'm very lonely too but I'm better off without those individuals who never understood my depression and way of thinking.

Whatever happens, wish you lots of love and peace.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,652
Only if you let it. You just have not met the right people.
 
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G

Goodbye710

Student
Jul 12, 2020
163
I'm sorry for what you are going through. Not having a family.

I worked briefly and have seen enough long term nursing homes. Places where family rarely visits and where people have nobody and I understand your statement. The despair there. I'll never go there no matter what myself.

I will have nobody there for me as well. I will die alone most likely.

My plan is to hire a caregiver instead and when things are too much to end it myself.

I just wanted to say hiring a caregiver isn't so bad. I've even heard of caregivers just hanging out in the home not doing anything. Watching TV with you. Having a good relationship as a friend. That sort of thing. Of course they are paid by the hour but a right caregiver might make life a little easier than thinking of being in long term care facility.

I think that's the best option for many people.
 
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hfdepression30

hfdepression30

Experienced
Mar 30, 2021
236
I'm also gay. Not in a relationship, never been in a relationship and nor do I desire one either. However, I don't believe being gay is the problem if a relationship or a significant other is what you desire.. it boils down to a personal complex such as insecurity or anxiety. Of course some countries, culture or people may hold their prejudices, but there are hundreds of thousands of LGBTQ+ people who live and love authentically.
 
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popuoh

popuoh

Wanderer of worlds
Jan 28, 2021
58
If it could then maybe us gays wouldn't have to endured all of society and life's bs :hmph::aw:
 
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Brink

Brink

Exhausted. RadHomo.
Feb 11, 2020
625

Can homosexuality kill you?​

It can kill you via STI's or AIDS -- if you're reckless and boundaryless. But no, homosexuality is not a killer.

Homophobia, though, can kill you. It can cause others to think that you do not deserve basic rights, respect and life. It leads people to cull and kill us. It can seep into your being and make you hate yourself and think you're not deserving of basic fucking decency.

Homophobia can alter your state of consciousness and contribute to your CTB.


Unfortunately gay community has very unrealistic standards, and i think I'll be always single until the day I die.

That we've flourished (again?) in many places in recent times means our community is a microcosm of the wider society. We live in a very individualised, hyper-consumerist and late-capitalist era, and there's no doubt that's influenced mainstream Western LGBTQ+ modern culture.

I work in palliative care

Thank you for all you do. I am sorry that you find yourself here under your circumstances, @Blue_mist. But, welcome. X
 
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SweetDreams500

SweetDreams500

Narcissistic gay NEETcel
Apr 4, 2021
234
It can if you go to Saudi Arabia and kiss dudes in public.
 
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eclipse

eclipse

Member
Apr 14, 2021
38
I don't think the first point is really a homosexuality issue. I'm heterosexual, also almost 40, and I also never was in a relationship. It hurts and the pain and shame involved is immeasurable. I think we can relate on this no matter our preferences.

The second point though, that your family rejects you for your sexuality, clearly is. I can't begin to comprehend how it must feel like to be rejected and hated for that.

I'm not sure if it helps, but there are tons of people out there who will happily accept you the way you are. I wish I could be more helpful but having never been a victim of homophobia I don't think I can truly understand what it's like. I imagine it's awful.
 
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P

phlox

Member
Feb 6, 2021
5
Agree with those who've said you've not met the right people. I know straight folks with ridiculous unrealistic standards, it's unfortunately part of all sexualities.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I'm close to my 40a now and i have never been successful to have a relationship. Unfortunately gay community has very unrealistic standards, and i think I'll be always single until the day I die. Maybe I'm ugly or have unattractive personality i don't know. I work in palliative care facility seeing people suffer and die alone creeps me out. I don't want to be in their shoes one day. Even my close and extended family don't claim me anymore( they don't recognize me as one of them) because I'm gay. Deep inside me i see this a very valid reason to end it all.
The title is a little misleading but I read the rest of your post and I sympathize.
It's true that the standards for appearance in the gay community can be especially harsh and toxic (this is a valid complaint I've heard brought up by many men), but they aren't much better in general anyway.
Society at large is absolutely obsessed with looks (and status), whether people want to admit it or not, if you aren't up to par, you will suffer (no matter the gender or sexual identity). If it's your personality, then you may be in luck by way of self examination to see what the issue is, and conquer it.
There may be other unrealistic expectations I am not aware of, I'm sorry you feel alone and have to experience these disadvantages.
Most of my own family does not care for me or my struggles either, nor would they be caught dead staking a claim to me unless it meant they would benefit substantially.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
Not unless you shove a grenade up your arse!
 
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PureMetanoia

PureMetanoia

Member
May 28, 2020
27
As a gay guy from a moderately homophobic eastern European country I can safely say my sexuality has majorly improved my life - there is always a community waiting for you in much more than just sexual capacity (think volunteering), spaces like clubs and event centers are there too, people "get to the point" with less pretense, etc.

On the other hand im still in my 20s and from a large urban center, I may have a privileged view, yet still -if you are in the more tolerant half of the planet, i feel like other things are killing you, not homosexuality. Love is hard for everyone :/
 
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watchingthewheels

Enlightened
Jan 23, 2021
1,415
47, homo, and still kickin', so...
 
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PressEnterToExit

PressEnterToExit

How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
I'm close to my 40a now and i have never been successful to have a relationship. Unfortunately gay community has very unrealistic standards, and i think I'll be always single until the day I die. Maybe I'm ugly or have unattractive personality i don't know. I work in palliative care facility seeing people suffer and die alone creeps me out. I don't want to be in their shoes one day. Even my close and extended family don't claim me anymore( they don't recognize me as one of them) because I'm gay. Deep inside me i see this a very valid reason to end it all.
I hate being homosexual for so many reasons...
 
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Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
I have more and more the belief that my homosexuality could be caused by a genetic problem.

Very often I got insulted that my face would look gay. Thats because sexual orientation is biological and I have indeed some neurobiological and biochemical issues(inborn). If this is how I am born then I will consider suicide.
 
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Bullit

Bullit

Mage
May 6, 2021
504
If there was a way to "un-gay" you,would you do it?
 
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
If there was a way to "un-gay" you,would you do it?
Yes but even then It will not undo the damage that my sexuality has wrecked about my life. It is too late
 
stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,918
I'm close to my 40a now and i have never been successful to have a relationship. Unfortunately gay community has very unrealistic standards, and i think I'll be always single until the day I die. Maybe I'm ugly or have unattractive personality i don't know. I work in palliative care facility seeing people suffer and die alone creeps me out. I don't want to be in their shoes one day. Even my close and extended family don't claim me anymore( they don't recognize me as one of them) because I'm gay. Deep inside me i see this a very valid reason to end it all.
Homosexuality won't kill you, but homophobia could because of the way society rejects people who are homosexual.

What makes this even worse is that dating culture has gone too far. Too many games. Not only in the straight world but in the LGBTQ community as well. People are people.

I know what that rejection feels like. You don't fit in with straight people or the gay community. You seemingly don't "fit" anywhere at all. But you do.

hey. You know how you work in that environment? Maybe someone kind will be there. And you won't be alone. Don't stare down the light at the end of the tunnel waiting to be blindsided. It's a pace, not a race.
 
Ch92921

Ch92921

The call of the void
Dec 29, 2018
909
My homosexualit is sick, biological viewed. I have no clue why there different subtypes of gays. But in my case its pathological.
Umph
Homosexuality won't kill you, but homophobia could because of the way society rejects people who are homosexual.

What makes this even worse is that dating culture has gone too far. Too many games. Not only in the straight world but in the LGBTQ community as well. People are people.

I know what that rejection feels like. You don't fit in with straight people or the gay community. You seemingly don't "fit" anywhere at all. But you do.

hey. You know how you work in that environment? Maybe someone kind will be there. And you won't be alone. Don't stare down the light at the end of the tunnel waiting to be blindsided. It's a pace, not a race.
Even if all people would be nice with me and nice, I was still depressed, because my intellect knows that biologically something is flawed in my case(inborn).
 

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U

Umeboahi

Member
Aug 7, 2021
44
On the contrary, I have been stigmatised as homosexual by my family, despite there being no evidence to this. It has deeply undermined my sense of personal ego, as I feel intruded upon, into my sex life.
I have never held down a serious relationship but I have enjoyed many a fling with women, and the family know that. Those taunts are one of the main reasons that I want to commit suicide.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
Nobody wants to end up in palliative facility. I would surely not want to end up in one.

Being gay sucks, that is why I stopped doing It. It was really a soulless experience full of hidden despair and disappointment.

Besides that I think being asexual or celibate is also valid option. It is definitely more peaceful If you get to that. Trying to get to know yourself, studying philosophy, meditation, contemplation or travelling. Or just being.
 
8evergo

8evergo

Mage
Oct 20, 2021
557
yes if you don't accept that you're a little gay
 
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
My homosexualit is sick, biological viewed. I have no clue why there different subtypes of gays. But in my case its pathological.
Umph

Even if all people would be nice with me and nice, I was still depressed, because my intellect knows that biologically something is flawed in my case(inborn).
Lol here we go again
 
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