Can anyone tell me your psych ward experience after a failed cbt?

[locked*n*loaded]

There are a few states that have legalized physician assisted suicide but that's mostly for the mentally ill or terminally ill I believe.

I'm pretty sure that suicide in the US has been decriminalized. Unfortunately, the few states that do have PAS offer it only for the terminally ill, certainly not the mentally ill, and that doesn't apply to me. It's kinda ironic that the US will put mentally ill people to death for committing certain crimes, but won't allow others with a mental condition who want it to have assisted suicide. But, that's this effed up country, I guess. I guess the best option for me when I am ready to ctb in a year or so is simply not to fail.

 

[butterfly🦋]

The experience you have really depends on the hospital. Some are comfortable to be in, while others are pretty terrible.

My first hospitalization made me feel like some sort of inmate. They blot locked us in our rooms at night. It was really distressing and I couldn't sleep during my time there since I would hear some of the other patients screaming or talking to themselves at night. I also remember walking to the bathroom once and seeing this girl strapped to a bed, they just had the door completely open.

The whole experience was really jarring, especially since I was literally 12.

My last hospitalization was a few years ago and this place was much nicer. It was a campus filled with cabins/houses in a woodsy area. Staff was really amazing, so were the patients I met and the food was really great. It felt more welcoming like a retreat, rather than a place to scare you like the previous one I was in.

So some experiences are more positive you just never know what type of facility you'll end up in. I'm glad your last stay was not so bad.

 

[its-about-time]

Even though I don't plan to go to psych ward there is no way to be sure it won't happen. I just want to know what it would be like. You don't get to have a phone or any access to the internet right? Thank you

It's changed over the years. Frankly every hospital is different. These days at mine you don't get your phone and there is no longer a community computer. They give everyone an iPad with wireless headphones but pretty much everything is disabled except for Pandora, which they don't have an account for so you can't listen to albums or anything in the proper order and you get commercials between every song. So not really worth using.

As another described, the day-to-day is basically a mix of group therapy, a psychiatrist check-in, shitty cold meals, vitals checks, med times, and mostly just nothing to do but watch whatever the pushiest patient who controls the tv 24/7 wants to watch. At mine it's 100% locked, no leaving the ward. There's a small outside yard that has 10ft fences you can go in if you can convince a staff member to "supervise" you. You can wear your own clothes but they remove any shoelaces, drawstrings etc first. Otherwise you're in shitty hospital scrubs. Visitors are limited to 1 person/day up to 1 hour with only 2 hours of open visitation in a day so never works with anyone's schedule. They used to have 1 hour individual therapy every day but for whatever reason they stopped offering it and I was sort of laughed at when I asked about it.

Stays are only good if 1. You want the help and 2. There are at least a few good staff. Without those two factors it sucks ass. Isn't the worst thing in the world, in my experience, but I severely hate it and usually hate myself twice as much by the end as when I went in.

 

[butterfly🦋]

It's changed over the years. Frankly every hospital is different. These days at mine you don't get your phone and there is no longer a community computer. They give everyone an iPad with wireless headphones but pretty much everything is disabled except for Pandora, which they don't have an account for so you can't listen to albums or anything in the proper order and you get commercials between every song. So not really worth using.

As another described, the day-to-day is basically a mix of group therapy, a psychiatrist check-in, shitty cold meals, vitals checks, med times, and mostly just nothing to do but watch whatever the pushiest patient who controls the tv 24/7 wants to watch. At mine it's 100% locked, no leaving the ward. There's a small outside yard that has 10ft fences you can go in if you can convince a staff member to "supervise" you. You can wear your own clothes but they remove any shoelaces, drawstrings etc first. Otherwise you're in shitty hospital scrubs. Visitors are limited to 1 person/day up to 1 hour with only 2 hours of open visitation in a day so never works with anyone's schedule. They used to have 1 hour individual therapy every day but for whatever reason they stopped offering it and I was sort of laughed at when I asked about it.

Stays are only good if 1. You want the help and 2. There are at least a few good staff. Without those two factors it sucks ass. Isn't the worst thing in the world, in my experience, but I severely hate it and usually hate myself twice as much by the end as when I went in.

Sounds pretty dreadful for the most part. Hopefully I won't have to experience it. But it's good to know just in case.
Thank you

I'm a psych nurse. Most places around here do not allow phones or any electronic devices, and I think that's the norm most places, but my current employer is one of maybe two hospitals in the state that does. They just make you put a tamper resistant sticker over the cameras, and you have to turn them in overnight. You can get it taken away if you're being inappropriate with them, but that's fairly rare. You also lose it for 24 hours if you're an eating disorder patient and don't finish your meal.

This is good to know. Thank you.
Do you enjoy your job? Do you think the patients at your facility enjoy their stay?

 

[aBitTooInsane]

Do you enjoy your job? Do you think the patients at your facility enjoy their stay?

Just like any job, it has its good and bad. Some patients want to be there, some don't. I try to make it as pleasant for them as possible, though sometimes there are limits to what I can do, not like I can just break the rules at will or unlock the door. I definitely have a lot of compassion due to my own demons, but sometimes that can be emotionally draining also, because I spend all this time listening to other people's problems, but nobody's there to listen to mine. I just joined SS, but maybe if I stick around a bit I can do a Q&A thread if there's enough interest.

 

[butterfly🦋]

Just like any job, it has its good and bad. Some patients want to be there, some don't. I try to make it as pleasant for them as possible, though sometimes there are limits to what I can do, not like I can just break the rules at will or unlock the door. I definitely have a lot of compassion due to my own demons, but sometimes that can be emotionally draining also, because I spend all this time listening to other people's problems, but nobody's there to listen to mine. I just joined SS, but maybe if I stick around a bit I can do a Q&A thread if there's enough interest.

Well we're here to listen to your problems. A Q&A would be cool I would personally like that. I wish you the best.

 

[its-about-time]

Just like any job, it has its good and bad. Some patients want to be there, some don't. I try to make it as pleasant for them as possible, though sometimes there are limits to what I can do, not like I can just break the rules at will or unlock the door. I definitely have a lot of compassion due to my own demons, but sometimes that can be emotionally draining also, because I spend all this time listening to other people's problems, but nobody's there to listen to mine. I just joined SS, but maybe if I stick around a bit I can do a Q&A thread if there's enough interest.

Welcome. I feel you. I worked in mental health for awhile myself, not in a ward but in a group home and later in a forensic setting with people who were quite "sick" and had committed crimes because of it. It's a wonderful and rewarding job but just as draining, too. I feel we get that "compassion fatigue" much faster than those who don't struggle daily with their own demons while working that kind of job.

 

[downndone2]

It varies greatly depending on location, public versus private wards, and voluntary versus involuntary. I havent been and thankful. But I've done clinicals at a few psych wards and my mom was in one

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I'll include my experience by reference to my post in a similar thread. You might be interested to check out the other replies there too.

 

[aBitTooInsane]

I'll include my experience by reference to my post in a similar thread. You might be interested to check out the other replies there too.

Good advice. I can't tell you how many times I've told my patients they need to "play the game." People think they're going to fight The Man and win.

 

[rationaltake]

He was a nice lad to be fair.

I think you're right, too. From what I've gathered over the last few years is that mental health services are seriously cash-strapped. You can go the private therapy route, as I did for a few years, but that was costing £65 an hour, I was going twice a week, so it's not really sustainable in the long run, if you want to be able to have any kind of life outside of therapy and the responsibilities of everything else.

I wouldn't worry yourself too much, to be honest. You shouldn't end up in one against your will, especially if your demeanour is calm, and non-confrontational and so on.

Thanks. I'm relieved.

 

[chronicallybroken]

I'm in the UK and, as far as I'm aware, they don't stick you on psychiatric wards for suicide attempts, or telling people you're going to etc etc. I think a lot depends on your demeanour really.

In fact, after discussions with family and my closest friends regarding my desire for self deliverance, they made me agree that before I settled on that, I would have to try every means of recovery first. One of those entailed calling my GP, who, because of the certainty with which I expressed my suicidality and the fact that I assured I would be using a reliable method, he put me in touch with what is known as a "crisis team" at the local mental health hospital. I went, told them the full facts of my intentions, how I've been feeling over the last many years, the culmination of thoughts, the philosophical reasons I have as well. They noted it all down, a psychiatrist came up with a course of medication to start with, I was given appointments to commence with one of their psychologists/counsellors and that was it. They didn't lock me up, drug me, or do anything else. I just went home, and we went from there.

I think here in the U.K. that only tends to happen if you're a danger to others as well. For example, one guy I spoke to in there whilst I was waiting (I was there most of the day), who had been there on a residential for a while, not for the first time either, was there because he was a pyromaniac and attempted to burn his house down. So, he was in there receiving treatment, but even he sounded fine. In fact, they all did. By that I mean that none of them sounded like they were being drugged heavily or tied down etc etc. Though I'm sure it happens if they kick off and get aggressive.

He was actually quite funny. I had a four can pack of zero coke on me and he boldly asked if he could have one please? I gave him one and he disappeared, only to come back 10 minutes later, placed the can next to me and went "can I have one of the others, there's nothing in this one?" - I looked at it, it was unopened. I said "you didn't drink it" and he again insisted "yeah there's nothing in it" then picked it up and turned it around and went to me "see, no sugar, no caffeine, no artificial flavourings...there's nothing in it" at which point he just grinned at me. What a nice bloke. I wonder if he's still in there

Your family and friends sound really supportive.

I was forced to speak to the crisis team the other day but I wasn't super honest with them (in my defence, by the time they called me I had calmed down a lot and was in a numb state). It's good to know that they were helpful. Did your psychology interventions start quite quickly?

In my experience working in mental health hospitals, those who have attempted suicide or are suicidal are usually persuaded to come into hospital informally. There's a lot of work/paperwork when sectioning someone and subsequently rescinding the section. Plus the stress on the patient when they're already in a state!
(Even though I knew this I was still scared they would do it to me )

My route into help from that point consisted of speaking to a GP at my practice, who I was a bit more honest with (but deliberately vague about my ideation and denied any plans…haha…there are always plans). She was very kind and sympathetic, and because I'm ~knowledgable~ she was happy to refer me to community mental health as I had requested. She even stuck an 'urgent' on it! I'm not super optimistic about my life improving to the point where I no longer want to die (I think I have BPD so I feel empty and directionless and miserable and it takes very little to tip me into suicidal crisis I also have some other issues) but it's a start I guess?

I wish you all the best with your recovery :)

 

[MementoMori81]

Your family and friends sound really supportive.

I was forced to speak to the crisis team the other day but I wasn't super honest with them (in my defence, by the time they called me I had calmed down a lot and was in a numb state). It's good to know that they were helpful. Did your psychology interventions start quite quickly?

In my experience working in mental health hospitals, those who have attempted suicide or are suicidal are usually persuaded to come into hospital informally. There's a lot of work/paperwork when sectioning someone and subsequently rescinding the section. Plus the stress on the patient when they're already in a state!
(Even though I knew this I was still scared they would do it to me )

My route into help from that point consisted of speaking to a GP at my practice, who I was a bit more honest with (but deliberately vague about my ideation and denied any plans…haha…there are always plans). She was very kind and sympathetic, and because I'm ~knowledgable~ she was happy to refer me to community mental health as I had requested. She even stuck an 'urgent' on it! I'm not super optimistic about my life improving to the point where I no longer want to die (I think I have BPD so I feel empty and directionless and miserable and it takes very little to tip me into suicidal crisis I also have some other issues) but it's a start I guess?

I wish you all the best with your recovery :)

Hi there. Yeah, I can't fault my family and closest friends, especially given what I'm proposing should things not improve.


Ermmm, yeah it was fairly quick going from the crisis team outlining a plan; medication and work with a psychologist, to actually getting in for my sessions. I was in seeing their resident psychologists within a week.

Ahh, see I was completely up front regarding my plans, perhaps a little too blunt haha. Touch-wood, so far they've not taken any steps to have me sectioned, though I'm always wary of it, either at the request of family or my GP. That said, I don't think my family would move to do that. My mum and dad said that, as much as they don't want me to what I've discussed, they also wouldn't want me to suffer for the rest of my life. There are no guarantees I wouldn't just spend the rest of it suffering, either.

I really hope things are going well for you. Have they outlined a good plan for you, going forward? What's the word so far?

 

[chronicallybroken]

Hi there. Yeah, I can't fault my family and closest friends, especially given what I'm proposing should things not improve.


Ermmm, yeah it was fairly quick going from the crisis team outlining a plan; medication and work with a psychologist, to actually getting in for my sessions. I was in seeing their resident psychologists within a week.

Ahh, see I was completely up front regarding my plans, perhaps a little too blunt haha. Touch-wood, so far they've not taken any steps to have me sectioned, though I'm always wary of it, either at the request of family or my GP. That said, I don't think my family would move to do that. My mum and dad said that, as much as they don't want me to what I've discussed, they also wouldn't want me to suffer for the rest of my life. There are no guarantees I wouldn't just spend the rest of it suffering, either.

I really hope things are going well for you. Have they outlined a good plan for you, going forward? What's the word so far?

That's really good! How have the sessions been going?

My family (consists of my mother only) and friends don't have much to say when I say life is never going to be good for me, but I don't think they're at the point where they understand that suicide may be the only way for me to escape from the pain.

Oh, this has all occurred within the last week, so I haven't heard anything from CMHT yet.

 

[MementoMori81]

That's really good! How have the sessions been going?

My family (consists of my mother only) and friends don't have much to say when I say life is never going to be good for me, but I don't think they're at the point where they understand that suicide may be the only way for me to escape from the pain.

Oh, this has all occurred within the last week, so I haven't heard anything from CMHT yet.

They're okay, but I'll be totally honest, where I'm at the stage I'm at, I don't feel I'm getting anything from them, if that makes any sense at all? The bloke they've got me seeing is a nice guy, though, so I don't mind the appointments.

I see what you mean, regarding your family and friends. It's a tough one, I think most people find it difficult to discuss this topic openly. Society has ensured it's such a taboo, that whenever it's mentioned it's more of a way to empty a room than engage in honest discussion.

Fingers crossed they'll get you in as soon as possible for appointments then and I really hope it has a positive impact for you. Has to be worth a shot, right?

 

[chronicallybroken]

They're okay, but I'll be totally honest, where I'm at the stage I'm at, I don't feel I'm getting anything from them, if that makes any sense at all? The bloke they've got me seeing is a nice guy, though, so I don't mind the appointments.

I see what you mean, regarding your family and friends. It's a tough one, I think most people find it difficult to discuss this topic openly. Society has ensured it's such a taboo, that whenever it's mentioned it's more of a way to empty a room than engage in honest discussion.

Fingers crossed they'll get you in as soon as possible for appointments then and I really hope it has a positive impact for you. Has to be worth a shot, right?

Yeah, I know what you mean, You reach a point where you need like, deeper work? I have got a lot from seeing my counsellor weekly, but my therapist friend suggested I need trauma-focused therapy and I think she's right...

I understand that it's hard to be around someone when they are as miserable as I am/can be, and impossible to reason with them! Whether it's family/friends or a professional.

Thank you. Yes, I suppose it's worth trying but I desperately need a backup plan!!!

 

[MementoMori81]

Yeah, I know what you mean, You reach a point where you need like, deeper work? I have got a lot from seeing my counsellor weekly, but my therapist friend suggested I need trauma-focused therapy and I think she's right...

I understand that it's hard to be around someone when they are as miserable as I am/can be, and impossible to reason with them! Whether it's family/friends or a professional.

Thank you. Yes, I suppose it's worth trying but I desperately need a backup plan!!!

Yeah, exactly that.

I'm glad you've been feeling a lot of benefit from seeing a counsellor, but as you and your friend have said, if you feel you need trauma-focused therapy, should definitely seek that. No one knows you, better than you of course.


Yeah, I see what you mean regarding being around people when they're struggling. I think that unless someone is in, or has been in that position, it's a lot more difficult for them to empathise, sometimes.

Agree with having a backup plan, too, though. A lot of anecdotal reports suggest that, having that option, far from hastening end of life, actually prolongs it because an individual has that reassurance. I think I tend to agree.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I got put on an involuntary hold at the main hospital which was horrible. The psychiatrist wouldn't listen to me because she heard I wanted to file a grievance and was mad at that beforehand even when I said I was in an abusive relationship(he told me to kill myself and I tried) and contacting him about my kid would be dangerous(it was and now he's saying I tried to kill them and had a TPO put out on me so I missed my kids first birthday). They wrote a whole bunch of stuff down that I didn't say(measurements, i'm suicidal) and I also have them backtracking and lying on camera. I asked to be transported to the psych hospital the next day because of the hostile environment. I had a male psychiatrist who never lets patients go without court because his license is at risk for letting a girl go who killed herself within 30 days of being released so it's his fault didn't see anything wrong with me and let me go after the rest of my 72 hours was up. I knew I wouldn't get out of the main hospital but the psych hospital never holds me for too long because I stuck to my story(I'm not suicidal it was an accident) and go to all of the groups. Also even when super depressed I always have a big smile on my face and tend to be a people person especially in places I feel comfortable(with other mentally ill people) so even I would have been like "this girl is fine".

 

[Suspect_Device]

I got 51/50'd three times as a teen in California early 2000's. FIrst two times I was held for three days. I answered all the social workers bullshit questions the right way and they let me go. Third time I was held for a month, mainly because a social worker cornered me in my hospital bed after the failure and I didn't have the mental fortitude to smile and lie. My primary memory of my hospital stay was a psycho roomate that they drugged up with benzos standing over my bed smiling and grunting and salivating in my face in the middle of the night. I got out of that room real quick. Thanks to this I'm no longer able to easily purchase a gun.