Discussion Can a relationship with the right person give you a meaning to live?

[BeautifulMosaics]

Can a relationship with the right person give you a meaning to live? Can they make you want to change your life? Maybe that's what I need. I have a lot of love and talent inside me but I suppose I have complex issues. I do fare better around others I've come to realize. Maybe having that someone to believe in me could make me want to change my life or simply join theirs.

Right now I'm off work due to mental health issues but I was actually planning on ctb. But I'm not so sure. I don't want to throw away my life for nothing if I can find something that makes me happy.

Do you guys also think a lot of university educated men will look down on me for how my life has gone so far? Not finishing A Levels due to depression and dropping out of uni and only working minimum wage jobs and basically being a shut-in when I'm not working with no friends? You wouldn't be able to tell though because I scrub up well and can socialize fine.

Should I give it a shot? Worst comes to worse I ctb anyway.

 

[Rational man]

People who accept you will not judge you for who you are. I think happiness and meaning can be found with that special person/s but of course, it comes with a particular caveat: YOU are the best friend you have and thats where I think happiness and and contentment can be found and shared.

 

[FromGermany]

For me the once-in-a-lifetime relationship with my wife was the main meaning to live.
I wish that fortune everybody else.
To be fair, almost everybody.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I thought I had found that person and that meaning. Didn't work out. Triggered a total collapse. Now I'm just killing time til I can CTB.

 

[Cherry xoxo]

Finding someone can help, I found my person and whenever life got tough he was always there for me to help me pick up the pieces. Being with him brought happiness to my life but deep down I was always this person who wanted to ctb

True happiness should come from within, you should want to live for you.
That person is not really apart of my life right now and it broke me because I thought I had my future planned and to have all of that shattered is very difficult to get through, it's been months and the pain and memories all just make me want to just sleep forever

That might save you but that person might also break you

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Finding someone can help, I found my person and whenever life got tough he was always there for me to help me pick up the pieces. Being with him brought happiness to my life but deep down I was always this person who wanted to ctb

True happiness should come from within, you should want to live for you.
That person is not really apart of my life right now and it broke me because I thought I had my future planned and to have all of that shattered is very difficult to get through, it's been months and the pain and memories all just make me want to just sleep forever

That might save you but that person might also break you

The risk us romantics foolishly take… a form of suicide itself to invest our hopes and dreams in someone else entirely.

 

[rationaltake]

Can a relationship with the right person give you a meaning to live? Can they make you want to change your life? Maybe that's what I need. I have a lot of love and talent inside me but I suppose I have complex issues. I do fare better around others I've come to realize. Maybe having that someone to believe in me could make me want to change my life or simply join theirs.

Right now I'm off work due to mental health issues but I was actually planning on ctb. But I'm not so sure. I don't want to throw away my life for nothing if I can find something that makes me happy.

Do you guys also think a lot of university educated men will look down on me for how my life has gone so far? Not finishing A Levels due to depression and dropping out of uni and only working minimum wage jobs and basically being a shut-in when I'm not working with no friends? You wouldn't be able to tell though because I scrub up well and can socialize fine.

Should I give it a shot? Worst comes to worse I ctb anyway.

Yes. You seem very positive about it. So do give it a shot. Although I think nobody else can save you I also think another person can help you save yourself. Good luck.

 

[Starryeyes]

My experience is no

 

[Callie Arcale]

You can find meaning in anything. Some find it in their jobs, some find it in helping others, some in partying and some even find it in love.

No one can tell you where you can find that one thing that gives your life meaning. That's the beauty and the tragedy of the human condition.

 

[demuic]

If you put all your hopes and dreams and will to live on one person, that can be crushed very easily. Resentment can also be created if that person does not meet your expectations or disappoints you in someway as everyone is only human and not perfect, they are their own person with their own problems and not a personal savior meant to save you.

If the only reason you want to die is loneliness or related issues then that might help. But a relationship still can't fix any other unfixable issues.

True happiness should come from within, you should want to live for you.

I agree.

 

[Cinzia_1992]

I thought that my ex-boyfriend gave me some happiness that I need in a difficult time, then he decide to leave.
People are shitty you can trust no one. As @demuic says: don't put your hope in one person. Unfortunately, I got a difficult time, and the person that should love the most, decide to say "bye-bye" just randomly. I gave all my heart and I didn't get anything back from family, friends and boyfriend.. People are shitty
People are lucky if they have good persons near.

If you put all your hopes and dreams and will to live on one person, that can be crushed very easily. Resentment can also be created if that person does not meet your expectations or disappoints you in someway as everyone is only human and not perfect, they are their own person with their own problems and not a personal savior meant to save you.

If the only reason you want to die is loneliness or related issues then that might help. But a relationship still can't fix any other unfixable issues.


I agree.

I like the way you talk :)

 

[...]

She was the reason for my life, and the reason why it's going to end. God I miss her so much. She promised me she'd never leave and she did

 

[Mocktezuma]

She was the reason for my life, and the reason why it's going to end. God I miss her so much. She promised me she'd never leave and she did

Same boat

 

[Cinzia_1992]

She was the reason for my life, and the reason why it's going to end. God I miss her so much. She promised me she'd never leave and she did

what does mean ctb?

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

Ugh. I feel really attacked by this question. Yeah ultimately depending entirely on someone else for happiness isn't exactly healthy, but at the same time I believe that deep intimacy and companionship, being ONE with someone and sharing your life with them, is one of the only truly fulfilling things in this life. I am a spiritual person and since I stopped believing in a supreme being who loves me, is looking out for me and is there with me, I don't see anything else filling that hole for me in terms of *love and companionship* (not saying that dating someone is equivalent to having a "relationship with god" but it's just the kind of relationship that comes the closest. I never plan on being a parent either which I understand also has that element of love that is spiritual and deep). Career, helping others, hanging out with friends, drugs, new experiences etc., all just don't do it for me. Without that profound connection with someone else to keep me grounded I'm just going to have to continue watching myself slowly die inside and feel like I'm alone in the universe. People who find relationships easily, or are in happy long term relationships, don't know how good they have it.

I thought I had found that person and that meaning. Didn't work out. Triggered a total collapse. Now I'm just killing time til I can CTB.

Same here. I was kidding myself thinking she'd want to stay with me long term but I felt so strongly for her that I let myself have that hope. Not sure how one comes back from that.

 

[Silenos]

what does mean ctb?

"Catch The Bus", meaning: to kill yourself.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

She was the reason for my life, and the reason why it's going to end. God I miss her so much. She promised me she'd never leave and she did

Worst feeling. Like Seppuku. Your faith gutted.

Ugh. I feel really attacked by this question. Yeah ultimately depending entirely on someone else for happiness isn't exactly healthy, but at the same time I believe that deep intimacy and companionship, being ONE with someone and sharing your life with them, is one of the only truly fulfilling things in this life. I am a spiritual person and since I stopped believing in a supreme being who loves me, is looking out for me and is there with me, I don't see anything else filling that hole for me in terms of *love and companionship* (not saying that dating someone is equivalent to having a "relationship with god" but it's just the kind of relationship that comes the closest. I never plan on being a parent either which I understand also has that element of love that is spiritual and deep). Career, helping others, hanging out with friends, drugs, new experiences etc., all just don't do it for me. Without that profound connection with someone else to keep me grounded I'm just going to have to continue watching myself slowly die inside and feel like I'm alone in the universe. People who find relationships easily, or are in happy long term relationships, don't know how good they have it.

Same here. I was kidding myself thinking she'd want to stay with me long term but I felt so strongly for her that I let myself have that hope. Not sure how one comes back from that.

I won't come back.

 

[Insomniac]

I ask myself the same question. Up until now, I've been anti-love but now I'm starting to wonder if I'm not just being unnecessarily stubborn.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

I ask myself the same question. Up until now, I've been anti-love but now I'm starting to wonder if I'm not just being unnecessarily stubborn.

The way is see it, some people need that level of intimacy and companionship to feel fulfilled and others don't. I consider those who feel they don't need it to be lucky. I think you'd probably figure it out if you did.

 

[Ihadagoodlife]

Yes give it a try just be yourself

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Yes.

 

[Nymph]

Yeah, they can be the reason why you go on, why you change for the better and all that. It's just hard to find the right person. Especially if you think you have found them and then it's proven otherwise and you have to try all over again. It's tough

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yeah, they can be the reason why you go on, why you change for the better and all that. It's just hard to find the right person. Especially if you think you have found them and then it's proven otherwise and you have to try all over again. It's tough

About a year ago I remember thinking finally I've found the One. I'll never have to "date" again. Phew.

Well, she's gone. Got no more "try" in me.

 

[KayKay]

A healthy loving secure marriage (NOT romantic Hollywood type) gave me stability and security for more than 20years.

My spouse isn't the whole "meaning of my life" by any means. As I don't think it's helpful to ever invest one person or thing with all that.

But this helped me have a secure base to find more "meanings in life" - our children, my career, our home, small joys.

For a very long time all Of this was enough meaning for me. Now? I'm struggling to hang on for them. Kids. Spouse. Which in a way makes me angry with them

Fucked up or what?

 

[vinie]

Not to necessarily overshare but I had an experience which is currently haunting me wherever I go. During the major lockdown period of the pandemic, my mental health drastically depleted due to the sheer amount of pressure I felt. During that time, I received a few prestigious scholarships and quickly got separated from the life that I had previously lived. I began binge drinking whilst trying to keep up with my studies. In the winter, I was very close to ctb, as all I did was drink and drown in my own desolation. But then, he came into my life, when I least expected it. We immediately clicked, but did not start dating until later on in the new year. He changed me without even realizing what he had done. I anxiously attached myself to him, as he was the sole reason behind my newfound sobriety and happiness. He knew that I was struggling, but didn't mind; we scrambled for meaning together, supporting each other endlessly. We helped each other cope with the trauma that we previously never discussed (the sexual abuse I experienced in my childhood, his extremely toxic relationship with his father). We wept together, laughed together, healed together and loved together. He was the sole reason as to why I didn't exit out. Yet, our own issues got the best of us and he abruptly broke our relationship off due to his depleting mental health. Ever since that happened, I haven't been the same. My panic attacks returned, I began drinking and started taking Xanax and Valium recreationally. He haunts me even during the night, as he appears in my nightmares on an almost daily basis. I regret meeting him honestly, as he had broken me into fragments of what I was before, but I cannot blame him as it is not his fault. Nevertheless, a special person can most definitely give meaning to someone's life, but in my situation, it did not last forever. Frankly, it has given me another reason to attempt ctb again.

May everyone find peace within <3

 

[NormaJeane]

There is no meaning of life because everything will die in the end, but do the best you can with your time in life.

 

[Marktheghost]

Yes. It doesn't look as if I'm ever going to find her though.