Discussion Can a parent be pro-choice? (Warning- antinatilist rant. Maybe triggering for some...)

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose I just feel that the very nature of life, both biological and social means that our choices are severely restricted. From basic stuff- the gender we are, our talents, our weaknesses to nurture elements- the financial stability of our families, our location. All these things deeply affect our prospects in life. We can't all choose to be astronauts or rock stars. We have to comply to quite a bit in life.

Life itself isn't set up to be terribly pro-choice. I think that's one of my major beefs with bringing life here. That they would have so limited choices when they got here. Seeing as we can't even get their consent on whether it still looks appealing, I feel like it's safer to spare them the risk.

So, I suppose I question just how pro- choice a parent can be. Can it even support a child in their choices? What if they decide they want to be a rock star but, they don't have the talent?

Over the very fundamental choice of living and dieing even. Maybe the most selfless parent would accept that their child was so deeply unhappy with living. If they couldn't help them, maybe they would be willing to let them go. But, would they source a painless means for them? Would they be willing to assist them? I'm guessing in most cases, no.

Maybe that's what I resent so much about life. That we're brought into this mess and then, we're quite often on our own when it comes to trying to survive it or escape it.

 

[blackIronPrison]

For me, the act of bringing children into this world itself sits in an ethical gray area.

If we ignore the "I didn't ask to be born" angle, there's still parents who's reasoning for having kids is about themselves seeking fulfillment, the "having a child is the best thing that happened to me" response. Or the not insignificant amount of parents who see their kids as investments, that one day the resources they provided will have come back benefit them somehow. In neither case could either of these types of parents really be pro-choice.

Even for those who are kind, supportive, and caring who became parents strictly for the lives they believe the can provide for their children are still likely to have allot of paternal/maternal instincts that may make it difficult to be pro-choice outside of terminal illness.

Personally, in general, I understand someone being anti-choice. Suicide is a much more difficult topic than people give it credit for. You're essentially going against every ounce of biological programing you have, to allot of people it probably seems like just an evolutionary misstep and hence it's terrifying. Compound that with the supposed unconditional love of a parent? I'd probably also agree I can't see any parents being on board with that.

Tl:dr no, sorry if that's too long winded lol.

 

[GlassMoon]

I'd guess it would depend on whether I could understand my child's choice to some extent, just like with any other human whose choice I'd like to understand. In the end, when I decided to have a child I hoped that it would also bear children. To carry life on. Don't know whether that is my true desire or the desire I've ingrained from society, but it's there. But that is only my wish, and the child is free to life the life it wants.

I've been through enough therapy to see what happens to children who are supposed to fulfill their parents' wishes. I'm sure I'm also pushing my wishes upon it, even if only subconsciously.

I want my child to lead the life it wants and I don't want to see my child suffer. Keeping it alive just to make me feel like I'm a successful parent just does not feel right. At least now I feel this way, since I know how I'm feeling about my life right now. That might change at some point. Maybe I'm too apathetic to feel the full drama of it now. I don't know.