Called for help after suicide attempt because of fear of death

[clawsofperdition]

Has anyone else attempted to kill themselves and even though they wanted and want to die they called for help? I did it on an impulse, drank 1/3 of my N bottle then fear overcame me as i felt my body become droozy and start to change (?) idk i felt the effect, no pain though. And i panicked and got help. Woke up in the hospital feeling like a complete idiot for wasting N, money, not even being able to take my own life. it wasnt a call for attention either. I genuinely wanted to die, have always wanted and known its the right thing for me. I know now that I need to prepare for the next time. My N is already on the way. I want this time to be successful. But i just feel so guilty and shameful about my last attempt. I'm still stuck (involuntarily) in the psych ward because of the last time.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I've never called for help during an attempt, but there was at least one notable time I still wonder why no one said anything at all when I looked and acted like death following one. There have been a few times I reached out to people who don't know me irl and I wanted them to convince me not to do anything since I was on the edge, but not actively attempting at the time. If I end up using SN when I get it, then I'll probably hide my phone in an unreachable place tbh. I'm sorry to hear you're in a psych ward and hope it isn't too bad of a stay. Best wishes for when you get out.

 

[jimmy7754]

I fear I may do this.

 

[rationaltake]

I fear I may do this.

Me too.

 

[HellWorld]

Me too.

I'm worried I may do this as well.

 

[PerpetualPain]

Has anyone else attempted to kill themselves and even though they wanted and want to die they called for help? I did it on an impulse, drank 1/3 of my N bottle then fear overcame me as i felt my body become droozy and start to change (?) idk i felt the effect, no pain though. And i panicked and got help. Woke up in the hospital feeling like a complete idiot for wasting N, money, not even being able to take my own life. it wasnt a call for attention either. I genuinely wanted to die, have always wanted and known its the right thing for me. I know now that I need to prepare for the next time. My N is already on the way. I want this time to be successful. But i just feel so guilty and shameful about my last attempt. I'm still stuck (involuntarily) in the psych ward because of the last time.

Did the taste have anything to do with it? How long were you out for after drinking approx 30ml of N?

 

[Red Scare]

It is supposed to be very fast acting. I wonder if I would have the time to get to my phone (I usually don't have it right on me), unlock it, and call someone. I wonder if taking benzos for anxiety before hand would hinder the process of absorption or how your body processes it.

 

[new.solution1]

I wonder if anyone can provide advice to prevent this?

I actually plan on HAVING my phone on me, dialed to 911 ready, so I don't need to "freak out" to get help, I can just get help, calmly and smoothly. If I back out, I back out, it will be practice/experience for my next attempt. I'm getting 2 bottles of N for this reason (only using 1 to CTB). Plus having 2 on me in case I decide to use 2 to CTB is ideal.

I think this calms my nerves, and actually makes it less likely for me to back out. There's nothing to fear, 911 is right there, I'm always in control, until I pass out. So I'm calm all the way until the end, not on edge, fretting.

 

[Starylain001]

Has anyone else attempted to kill themselves and even though they wanted and want to die they called for help? I did it on an impulse, drank 1/3 of my N bottle then fear overcame me as i felt my body become droozy and start to change (?) idk i felt the effect, no pain though. And i panicked and got help. Woke up in the hospital feeling like a complete idiot for wasting N, money, not even being able to take my own life. it wasnt a call for attention either. I genuinely wanted to die, have always wanted and known its the right thing for me. I know now that I need to prepare for the next time. My N is already on the way. I want this time to be successful. But i just feel so guilty and shameful about my last attempt. I'm still stuck (involuntarily) in the psych ward because of the last time.

I fear I may do this.

I fear psych ward more with my chronic pain condition. I wouldnt survive it mentally without my dad and cat. No go out for months or even years. Maybe forever…

Thats why an attempt is one way to go for me. I left my phone in some unreachable place, take my SN or N and just ctb, no matter how painful it occurs to be.