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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I've been asked this in earnest by different people when I've revealed that I'm bipolar and suicidal. I've said, "yes," and thought, "not really." The question makes me very uneasy for some reason. Anyways, I can't recall ever having seen this mentioned anywhere in this forum. Has anyone encountered this psychological "catch phrase" or is it just something particular for my country?
 
Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,159
I've been asked this in earnest by different people when I've revealed that I'm bipolar and suicidal. I've said, "yes," and thought, "not really." The question makes me very uneasy for some reason. Anyways, I can't recall ever having seen this mentioned anywhere in this forum. Has anyone encountered this psychological "catch phrase" or is it just something particular for my country?
I've encountered it before, an if you say "no" they'll say something like "there's always something to live for!" But what that something is, well, they'll meander around on that one if asked.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,394
It really bothers me to be asked this, and to read it lol. I've been told it could be anhedonia, maybe it's also cynicism, but I don't really have anything to live for. I don't want to stay alive for other people, I don't want to stay alive to "see what will happen". I definitely don't want to stay alive for a future SO or job lmao; I see those ideas tossed around a lot. People also try to argue "you have a purpose in life" and...meh.
 
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
It's a standard issue mindfuck. It's fear at the core, i think.

Actually, I don't think the people who have asked me that have tried to manipulate me. They have seemed genuinely worried. Maybe I'm easily deceived, but I don't think so, because I work with people and usually know how to read them.

It really bothers me to be asked this, and to read it lol. I've been told it could be anhedonia, maybe it's also cynicism, but I don't really have anything to live for. I don't want to stay alive for other people, I don't want to stay alive to "see what will happen". I definitely don't want to stay alive for a future SO or job lmao; I see those ideas tossed around a lot. People also try to argue "you have a purpose in life" and...meh.

Believe it or not, but I've been spared those platitudes. I would have reacted very negatively if anyone would have thrown them at me.
 
Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Nov 13, 2019
1,158
I've been asked this in earnest by different people when I've revealed that I'm bipolar and suicidal. I've said, "yes," and thought, "not really." The question makes me very uneasy for some reason. Anyways, I can't recall ever having seen this mentioned anywhere in this forum. Has anyone encountered this psychological "catch phrase" or is it just something particular for my country?

Yup, been there as well. In my very small universe of real life people, no one wants to hear that I hurt, they expect me to be the strong one and pick them up - every single damn time - and then when I need it? They run like their hair is on fire.

So I have learned to lie so I do not hurt them and to maintain the peace - which I find extremely ironic, sad, and infuriating.

I really dislike lies, and to lie or catch someone in a lie makes me extremely uncomfortable; however, in this case, I find it the easier path to take because (to paraphrase Jack Nicholson) - they cannot handle the truth.

<3
 
MindFog

MindFog

:Professional Hypocrite:
Nov 19, 2020
721
I've heard it many times, but they usually add a religious flair to it. Makes me gag.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,921
I've encountered "There is always something to live for." It's a sound byte and has no value. Who are they to assume whether anyone else has something to live for? All it does is elegantly dismiss the issue so they have 'done their bit' and can then move on.
Worse are the social media memes that use emotional blackmail like a chain letter:
"xxx people die a day from suicide. Lets raise awareness. Most people won't pass this on, but if you are really my friend then you will. Lets see how many people re-post."
Fuck off.
That is disgusting emotional manipulation that serves no function save to salve the conscience of the poster so they don't actually have to engage with anyone who feels suicidal. Worse, they drag others along with them and force the desperate even further underground. Until they end up here.
 
demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,382
It really bothers me to be asked this, and to read it lol. I've been told it could be anhedonia, maybe it's also cynicism, but I don't really have anything to live for. I don't want to stay alive for other people, I don't want to stay alive to "see what will happen". I definitely don't want to stay alive for a future SO or job lmao; I see those ideas tossed around a lot. People also try to argue "you have a purpose in life" and...meh.
Oh, I definitely don't want to stay alive to see what happens. I've seen enough of this shit show called "life". It will only get worse from here.
 
Gromit-CTB

Gromit-CTB

time for ctb
Nov 14, 2020
847
The world outside here loves to throw that one at you, even from those that seem really worried. I was told by someone I thought I trusted who has MH and tried to ctb before that "they win 100 percent everyday" wtf are they winning, nothing but years more pain and suffering. Sorry I will be the "coward" the world sees me as and take peace from this world with ctb
 
Apathy79

Apathy79

Specialist
Oct 13, 2019
367
When my best friend revealed to me that he had attempted suicide, and would certainly have succeeded but for being found a split second too soon, my initial response after the shock washed over was why? Because the expectation is ... "But you have something to live for, right?" The conversation was a long time ago now, but I probably said those words or some other paraphrase with the same meaning at some point. Because the conversation ranged from trying to understand exactly where he's at, which largely revolved around him explaining why he doesn't have anything to live for, me putting myself in his shoes as best as I can, trying to feel the pain and where it's coming from, then attempting to provide my perspective within that context, which is largely answering that question again but this time with a few yes's.

So as someone who has asked something similar when a suicidal friend revealed his secret, I suspect it's just a fairly natural query for a non-suicidal person. Also, given the gravity of the confession - in his case I was the only person he had ever discussed it with, he asked me never to tell anyone about it, and the only other person that knew he was suicidal was his mother who found him in time - it feels like it's on you in that moment to show this person life is worth living, and if you can't, they're going to die. And the way out seems to be finding a convincing answer to that question - so that's the direction we went, and I see you have encountered.

Incidentally, I didn't break my promise - don't be alarmed! Nor did my advice have any lasting effect. He ultimately followed through anyway. Unfortunately, I suspect that will be the most common result. Maybe it's for the best, who knows. But anyway that's my 2c on why the question comes up in that context.
 
С

суисида

Member
Dec 4, 2020
7
Yup, been there as well. In my very small universe of real life people, no one wants to hear that I hurt, they expect me to be the strong one and pick them up - every single damn time - and then when I need it? They run like their hair is on fire.

So I have learned to lie so I do not hurt them and to maintain the peace - which I find extremely ironic, sad, and infuriating.

I really dislike lies, and to lie or catch someone in a lie makes me extremely uncomfortable; however, in this case, I find it the easier path to take because (to paraphrase Jack Nicholson) - they cannot handle the truth.

<3
IMO, being uncomfortable with lying is a sign of a qualified kind of human health. Usually, people keep apparently sane existences at the expenses of that kind of health. I'm not saying they are wrong, but some of us simply aren't suited for that of cynicism, the same way people have different personalities, tastes and inclinations. Lies are one the things that can cripple and destroy humans from inside. I'm quite skeptical about the fact that rational suicide would still exist outside a life damaged by deception. I'm not saying that truth is even achievable, but the limits that define truth and lie are somewhat indistinguishable, so yes, it is possible to lie while using truth as a too of deceit. That whole claim is not mine, but belongs to many existentialists (philosophers, writers and artists) that came across the suicide issue and weren't convinced that existence could be justified by an external reason. The angst of being alive and the urge to end this suffering are what makes us human and sane, not the other way around.

Nietzsche is damn right when he says that mediocrity is the default state of humanity and the deception with which almost everyone deals with existential and emotional suffering is by far the most powerful prove of that statement. As you said, you lie to keep peace and that's infuriating. I believe you suffer from the need of being authentic, and that includes being suicidal or at least questioning life, and people around you aren't strong enough to stand it. Sorry for sounding assertive, I felt that what happens to you is what happens to me since I know myself.
 
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