I am extremely exhausted I try to protect me so I will take less effort.
What is a bullshit job?
"A bullshit job or pseudowork is meaningless or unnecessary wage labour which the worker is obliged to pretend to have a purpose. Polling in the United Kingdom and the Netherlands indicates that around 40% of workers consider their job to fit this description. The concept was coined by anthropologist David Graeber in a 2013 essay in Strike Magazine, On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs, and elaborated upon in his 2018 book Bullshit Jobs. Graeber also formulated the concept of bullshitization, where previously meaningful work turns into a bullshit job through corporatization, marketization or managerialism. This has been applied to academia, which Graeber and others contend has been bullshitized by the expansion of managerial roles and administrative work caused by neoliberal educational reforms, contributing to the erosion of academic freedom." (wikipedia)
Now quiet quitting.
www.investopedia.com
I was imprisoned in a bullshit job. I tried so fucking hard to be good at it but it made me extremely depressed. It increased my depression a lot. It was pretty soul crushing. Only my OCD and neuroticism forced me to go on. It took extreme willpower to go there on a daily basis. My depression became so severe that I barely could sleep. I tried so fucking hard to get the job in the first place. Life spit me in the face for it. When I was fired my boss mocked me. However I can understand that to a certain extent I would have fired me way earlier. I was a complete wreck. My depression was extremely crippling. Everyone with slight level of empathy could see that I was extremely struggling. I was a complete wreck. I felt extremely uncomfortable in my skin. It was pretty insane.
So it was not really quiet quitting. But it was a real hell. Average people even if they were complete quiet quitters would have had a better performance. The game is rigged against me and eventually have to kill myself. I see most of the things that happen rather as further humiliation. There were some positive things however my illness usually proceeds in cycles. To give me hope just to take it again is cruel. For the moment it clearly increases my life quality. But this term feels weird. My life barely has quality. There is the extreme suffering and the severe suffering. Sometimes during vacation I feel better. But this shit ain't worth it for me. This is why I plan to kill myself when the crash happens. Why should I continue playing the game if the shit just repeats?
I think I am way too conscientious for real quiet quitting. I gave me breaks when I had this bullshit job. But the energy this shit took was inhuman. I cried so hard when I was fired. Honestly this probably was a good thing it was pure torture. I wanted to give this life a chance. in the past the performance pressure always led to my psychosis. I wanted to find a loophole. Well there is none. There is no escape. And currently I am just runnig desperately away from my inevitable fate.
This was my offer to life. Yeah I endure this very horrible job if in exchange the manias/psychosis never repeat. This did not work. And what I am I doing now? I try college and come closer and closer to a relapse. Honestly if I did not take the addictive medication I would have collapsed way earlier. I really feel like under water in a frozen sea. I desperately try to breath but no matter how I turn my life there is no escape. At least not one where I am not offing myself.
My current aim is a good job. A job which does not make me terribly depressed. Because this is my only way to earn money. I don't really see it happening though. At least not for me. Fuck my life.
What is a bullshit job?
"A bullshit job or pseudowork is meaningless or unnecessary wage labour which the worker is obliged to pretend to have a purpose. Polling in the United Kingdom and the Netherlands indicates that around 40% of workers consider their job to fit this description. The concept was coined by anthropologist David Graeber in a 2013 essay in Strike Magazine, On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs, and elaborated upon in his 2018 book Bullshit Jobs. Graeber also formulated the concept of bullshitization, where previously meaningful work turns into a bullshit job through corporatization, marketization or managerialism. This has been applied to academia, which Graeber and others contend has been bullshitized by the expansion of managerial roles and administrative work caused by neoliberal educational reforms, contributing to the erosion of academic freedom." (wikipedia)
Now quiet quitting.
What Is Quiet Quitting—and Is It a Real Trend?
What is quiet quitting? Is it a new trend or just a trendy new name for worker dissatisfaction?
- The term "quiet quitting" refers to employees who put no more effort into their jobs than absolutely necessary.
- A 2022 Gallup survey suggested that at least half of the U.S. workforce consists of quiet quitters.
- However, skeptics question those numbers and whether quiet quitting is a new trend or simply a trendy new name for worker dissatisfaction.
I was imprisoned in a bullshit job. I tried so fucking hard to be good at it but it made me extremely depressed. It increased my depression a lot. It was pretty soul crushing. Only my OCD and neuroticism forced me to go on. It took extreme willpower to go there on a daily basis. My depression became so severe that I barely could sleep. I tried so fucking hard to get the job in the first place. Life spit me in the face for it. When I was fired my boss mocked me. However I can understand that to a certain extent I would have fired me way earlier. I was a complete wreck. My depression was extremely crippling. Everyone with slight level of empathy could see that I was extremely struggling. I was a complete wreck. I felt extremely uncomfortable in my skin. It was pretty insane.
So it was not really quiet quitting. But it was a real hell. Average people even if they were complete quiet quitters would have had a better performance. The game is rigged against me and eventually have to kill myself. I see most of the things that happen rather as further humiliation. There were some positive things however my illness usually proceeds in cycles. To give me hope just to take it again is cruel. For the moment it clearly increases my life quality. But this term feels weird. My life barely has quality. There is the extreme suffering and the severe suffering. Sometimes during vacation I feel better. But this shit ain't worth it for me. This is why I plan to kill myself when the crash happens. Why should I continue playing the game if the shit just repeats?
I think I am way too conscientious for real quiet quitting. I gave me breaks when I had this bullshit job. But the energy this shit took was inhuman. I cried so hard when I was fired. Honestly this probably was a good thing it was pure torture. I wanted to give this life a chance. in the past the performance pressure always led to my psychosis. I wanted to find a loophole. Well there is none. There is no escape. And currently I am just runnig desperately away from my inevitable fate.
This was my offer to life. Yeah I endure this very horrible job if in exchange the manias/psychosis never repeat. This did not work. And what I am I doing now? I try college and come closer and closer to a relapse. Honestly if I did not take the addictive medication I would have collapsed way earlier. I really feel like under water in a frozen sea. I desperately try to breath but no matter how I turn my life there is no escape. At least not one where I am not offing myself.
My current aim is a good job. A job which does not make me terribly depressed. Because this is my only way to earn money. I don't really see it happening though. At least not for me. Fuck my life.
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