Built To Fail.

[Valhalla2]

Being as mind effed as I am, I like peeling back the layers of just how trivial my problems are and how lazy and unmotivated I am to fix them. I'll give an example. I'm stressing out about an essay I haven't even begun and stifling tears at how I'm going to fail if I don't do it. So, I'm sad because something I didn't do. Why can't I do that something? I can't because in my heart and soul, I really really don't want to. Why don't you want to do it? I feel a throbbing mental pain at the thought of having to collect my thoughts and write. Why does that prevent you from doing something? Others are in the same boat as you and are doing just peachy. Well, others aren't feeling this pain in their head and if I'm correct, all humans usually don't like pain they don't invite. Why must you read into this so much? I guess it's due to my mother's utilitarian parenting style of "make sure they are fed and safe and that's about it." I had everything I needed and didn't have to work for it at all. I know that's way better than most of the childhoods people have endured on this forum but ehh... I don't know where I'm going with this, if you don't mind, share some examples of your crippling procrastination too.


Thanks for reading.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I tend only to be motivated to do things I don't want to do if the alternative seems worse. I hate anything domestic- cleaning, tidying etc. I live alone and while I don't exactly enjoy living in a mess- I can- so- a lot of the time, I do. It's only if I know someone will be coming round- usually to fix something- (friends and family don't come round) that I feel REALLY motivated to do stuff. I do feel embarassed when people can see how I live.

When it came to school stuff and work- there was plenty I REALLY didn't want to do but I suppose I was afraid of failure- and still am- so- I guess that motivates me to try.

I think it's extremely difficult if you have no interest in a subject you are having to study. Or- if it is just too complicated- it can seem overwhelming. Do you know exactly what it is that's stopping you? Is it boredom/ lethargy or fear?