Breakthrough

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For what might be the first time, I don't feel sad about the thought of abandoning my wife when I ctb. I just don't care.

Well, okay, typing this thread makes me feel sad. But it was nice to have a relief from that sadness for only a few minutes.

 

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Today we found out that my dad has stage IV cancer. He's in his 90s and we're not close so I'm not destroyed over it. But it does mean that if I ctb this year my mom and sister will have to deal with two deaths in the family and I don't know if I'm enough of an asshole to do that to them.