Venting Break yourself (talking to myself)

[Doemu]

Please break yourself, just kill yourself for once Doemu.

Everything was horrible, everything is going to be horrible. You know it. Even if you are stupid, you are smart enought to know that.
You know you can only feel being loved when you are abused, and you know that's not love. You know you haven't been loved in all your life, and you can't be loved.

You are a Demon, even if you try you can't be a good person. You are to much broken for that. You want to be the good person you was before you got broke, but you know that's impossible.

You only need to get more broke, just enought to end yourself.

Please i'm beggin you, stop becaming stronger, please stop being used to suffer everyway, allow yourself to just end this hell. You know there's no way you can care about if you are happy or not, you will long the death anyway.

You don't fear death, you don't want to live, you don't fear pain or suffer anymore, so please... just do it. Kill yourself Doemu, please. It's the better for all.

Why you need to be so stubborn? why you are still caring for others? Why you still want to sacrifice yourself to help? Please die like a Demon, or die like a good person, but don't be fighting anymore of what you are. You need to surrender know. You know you can't regret, you truly desire to die.

For once, just for once, allow yourself to be free. With out duty, with out responsability. Just do what you most need, what you most desire.
Just kill yourself for once and forever.

 

[4everDone]

What did Doemu do to deserve this?

 

[Doemu]

What did Doemu do to deserve this?

Was pretty near to became a killer in my past. And i was a criminal. I deserve nothing but an horrible death.

 

[4everDone]

That must be tough.. as long as everyone is alive I guess there is nothing to worry about

 

[Doemu]

That must be tough.. as long as everyone is alive I guess there is nothing to worry about

No. I have no right to live. I don't want it too anyway. And even if all others forgive me and won't forgive my self never.

 

[4everDone]

So your primary reason is self hatred? Where does it stem from?

 

[Doemu]

So your primary reason is self hatred? Where does it stem from?

I hate existance and i hate my self. Even if i wouldn't hate my self i wanted to die anyway. and it cames from my shit of life, and what i had became.

 

[4everDone]

I agree I hate existence too. And often it's outside of our control to lead the way life shapes us and what it drags us through. I heard some people say that the power lies when we control out reaction to certain events and if we don't allow ourself to be drowned by negative and unpleasant emotions only then can we truly be human or something like that bla bla

The problem is that at some point everything becomes obvious and life is just a monotonous event that leads nowhere. For some reason it always finds a way to throw awful things at us, at least that remains as a constant truth.

It's tough, stay strong