Venting Brain Damaged by Antipsychotics (Neuroleptics) - now CTB

[007Bob]

I'm Swiss and I've been abused by psychiatry here. First I developped PSSD from antidepressant and then I got locked up in a psych ward (misdiagnosed with a psychosis) where they gave me heavy doses of first and second gen AP to the points where I was seeing double, I had extreme akathisia, couldn't swallow food, extreme speech impediment, couldn't walk properly, write, etc. Now I'm left with the unbereable symptoms of PSSD (anhedonia, emotional blunting, insomnia, complete sexual dysfunction, can't get high on alcohol or feel stimulants like coffee or nicotine) and the debilitating symptoms of the AP treatement which lasted 4 months. 1 year has passed since they released me from the psych facility and I'm still cognitively impaired, I have speech issues, I have motor skills deficits and on top that I have PSSD.
I went from a very fullfilling life, to drop out from university and being bedridden.
I fought hard since then but nothing has changed. Psychiatrists are pure evil and they completely screwed my life up to the point where living is pure suffering 24/7.
I really wanted to make my story public so here in Switzerland people will know and maybe in the future some lives will be saved, but my cognition is so bad I don't know where to start.
Time is ticking, I'm gonna ctb soon.

I am so sorry for the psychiatric abuse you had to endure. I relate to your pain and to your situation. At the heart of psychiatry is satanism. Psychiatrists torment, torture and murder hundreds of millions of innocent victims in total judicial impunity. Psychiatrists are also responsible for my CTB. I was a happy and positive person before. Now I am brain damaged. My body is damaged. My life is ruined.

 

[phersper]

You too, huh? The layers of Psychiatric sadism.... It's such an extra kick in the teeth when you can't even drink your pain away! Or experience highs from weed. Or masturbate for that matter. All those parts of my brain are dead too.

As an aside, have you ever tried kratom? It won't restore your cognition or sexuality, but I use it because it's one of very few things that can cut a bit through the numbness of the brain damage and give me a little 'pick me up.' It helps a bit with the anhedonia. It's nowhere near enough to stop me from CTBing, but it's better than nothing. A good thing to get you through the days until you're ready to finally CTB.

Yeah it's definitely disgusting what psychiatry is doing and I fear they won't any time soon.
No I've never tried kratom but honestly last year I was so desperate for some sleep and relieve from anhedonia that I even tried heroin and it didn't do much for me, I just got sleepy, but my brain is so fucked, I can't get any dopamine or endorphins boost not even with heroin.

 

[007Bob]

You too, huh? The layers of Psychiatric sadism.... It's such an extra kick in the teeth when you can't even drink your pain away! Or experience highs from weed. Or masturbate for that matter. All those parts of my brain are dead too.

As an aside, have you ever tried kratom? It won't restore your cognition or sexuality, but I use it because it's one of very few things that can cut a bit through the numbness of the brain damage and give me a little 'pick me up.' It helps a bit with the anhedonia. It's nowhere near enough to stop me from CTBing, but it's better than nothing. A good thing to get you through the days until you're ready to finally CTB.

I feel the same. Antipsychotics have also destroyed that part of the brain responsible for taste and smell. I can't taste food anymore. My sense of smell is gone. Psychiatrists also sterilized me with their drugs. Psychiatry is truly the embodiment of satanism.

 

[phersper]

I am so sorry for the psychiatric abuse you had to endure. I relate to your pain and to your situation. At the heart of psychiatry is satanism. Psychiatrists torment, torture and murder hundreds of millions of innocent victims in total judicial impunity. Psychiatrists are also responsible for my CTB. I was a happy and positive person before. Now I am brain damaged. My body is damaged. My life is ruined.

Sorry to hear that, I have nothing else to say. I hope you can have the force to stick around and the luck to heal and go back to who you were. Honestly, me myself, I m going to give me another couple of months, not anymore. There s no sense, no dignity, no benefits in living like this, in my case I know that damage is too big to be healed, I won't stay here and hope for a recovery while suffering as a pig.

 

[007Bob]

Sorry to hear that, I have nothing else to say. I hope you can have the force to stick around and the luck to heal and go back to who you were. Honestly, me myself, I m going to give me another couple of months, not anymore. There s no sense, no dignity, no benefits in living like this, in my case I know that damage is too big to be healed, I won't stay here and hope for a recovery while suffering as a pig.

As you rightly put it: "There's no sense, no dignity, no benefits in living like this, in my case I know that damage is too big to be healed, I won't stay here and hope for a recovery while suffering as a pig." Psychiatrists have murdered me. Psychiatrists are notorious criminals. Psychiatry is a scam of intelligence.

 

[sundown12]

i'm also forced to get antipsychotic injections every month and it literally turned me into a veg. i hate psychiatrists more than i hate my own life. these people truly don't know what they are doing and they are just prescribing random shit to see what sticks.

my psychiatrist thinks i'm schizo, and it's useless trying to explain to that bitch that i'm energetically sensitive and that I'm very attuned to higher realms and my spirit guides. i have to keep my clairvoyant gift a secret, otherwise it's gonna be witch trials 2.0 for me.

psychiatrists are fucking stupid because anything that's out of realm of science is deemed as mental illness by them. if you are passionate and you show strong emotion to them (i.e. anger), they claim you are unstable and need help.

these so-called doctors can't even fathom the fact that mental illness is a result of deep spiritual trauma, and not just funky brain chemistry. people are suffering from mental illness for various reasons, such as unhealed inner child, trauma stuck in the body, parts of consciousness needing soul retrieval and things like that. but these psychiatrists only accept things that are sCiEnTiFic and lOgIcAL. i hate them so much, and i hope that every psychiatrist on this planet gets their life ruined and gets a reality check on their so-called chosen career.

sorry, just wanted to get this off my chest. i'm just really mad i have to get those neuroleptic injections for god knows how long.

 

[WearyWanderer]

i'm also forced to get antipsychotic injections every month and it literally turned me into a veg. i hate psychiatrists more than i hate my own life. these people truly don't know what they are doing and they are just prescribing random shit to see what sticks.

my psychiatrist thinks i'm schizo, and it's useless trying to explain to that bitch that i'm energetically sensitive and that I'm very attuned to higher realms and my spirit guides. i have to keep my clairvoyant gift a secret, otherwise it's gonna be witch trials 2.0 for me.

psychiatrists are fucking stupid because anything that's out of realm of science is deemed as mental illness by them. if you are passionate and you show strong emotion to them (i.e. anger), they claim you are unstable and need help.

these so-called doctors can't even fathom the fact that mental illness is a result of deep spiritual trauma, and not just funky brain chemistry. people are suffering from mental illness for various reasons, such as unhealed inner child, trauma stuck in the body, parts of consciousness needing soul retrieval and things like that. but these psychiatrists only accept things that are sCiEnTiFic and lOgIcAL. i hate them so much, and i hope that every psychiatrist on this planet gets their life ruined and gets a reality check on their so-called chosen career.

sorry, just wanted to get this off my chest. i'm just really mad i have to get those neuroleptic injections for god knows how long.

Can you contact a lawyer? I thought US citizens are supposed to have right to refuse medical treatment of any form even if going against doctor's orders.

I know reality is different but maybe you can try to find an advocate? Or do those rights get stripped if you're deemed mentally unstable?

They tried to forcefeed me 3 fucking different psych drugs at an inpatient stay for back pain. For fucking back pain.

I told the neurologist "I am never taking those, they destroyed a close person's life and we are genetically very similar.


They proceeded to gaslight me and also overdose me on an IV steroid I had insisted to my family was medically unnecessary.

The arrogant bitch neurologist would not shut up until I lied and said I will take the psych meds "at home" to see how I respond in a safer environment.

I escaped against medical advice (thank God) and returned home with shreds of myself that allowed me to somewhat recover.

But since that time I was now destroyed by other classes of drugs in a vulnerable moment and actually similar to you almost forced to take except I didn't realize I had the legal right to say no

Maybe a social worker can help you?

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

My life's been also probably destroyed partly by these drugs. I've been forced on olanzapine (first tablets then injection), paliperidone (injection) (which was the worst I think) and now ketiapine (tablets) because of my schizoaffective disorder they diagnosed. I had a bad feeling about these drugs about the time I was sent to a psych ward first time two years ago in march 2022 but I only found out about their harmfulness like a half of a year after I started taking them. I have been fighting against my clinic and questioned if these treatments could be stopped with everything I could but they only want to prescribe new alternative drugs or gaslight me into thinking that they're fine. Last autumn my clinic even forced me once more to psych ward because I didn't take a prescribed drug (olanzapine injection) for the whole summer (I was little depressed but I at least functioned somewhat well back then). The other doctor and nurse on this march tried to do the same thing after skipping one paliperidone injection but I fled away successfully and was able to even change my clinic and doctor/nurses after that incident and my medication back to tablets. But let see how everything goes with a new staff...

As a result of being described these drugs, now I can't think straight, I am lethargic, I can't learn or process the things in short-term memory/have thought properly, have tics, developed gynaecomastia because of elevated prolactin levels, troubles to recall things, having hard time to engage in a productive two-way conversation with anyone and had a three months back a loss of sleep or at least I can't get it enough nowadays easily. So I probably have no future because of that (for continuing studies etc.) I have also erectical dysfunction because of these drugs. They have tried to describe me abilify and cariprazine but I haven't taken them. That's because, luckily, I was able to convincingly lie to my new doctor/nurses that I take my prescribed medication (tablets) at home back in april. I don't know if I can get rid of these treatments totally because of the diagnose I've been given. Annoyingly and unfortunately, I have to take ketipinor nowadays though because without it I can't properly sleep anymore (but on the smallest dose possible)...

There are other factors and conditions too which might contribute to this and other symptoms I've had too recently but I think antipsychotics are one of the main reasons why I've become like this what I am now. I feel so much anger and frustration because I can't seem to fix this problem anymore. That's why I am also planning to ctb.