Venting BPD Splitting

[ImTelling]

What's happening, forum?

I've recently been experiencing the most intense 'splitting' in my life. For those who don't know, one of the symptoms of BPD is that you start thinking and feeling in black and white, especially with relationships. For example, someone with BPD could see their partner is perfect in every way and suddenly hate them and want nothing to do with them.

After what happened at work almost everyone I know has shown their immense disappointment in me. Even those who sugar coat it by saying "You're human, you fuck up, you can work past it" are put into this "hate" category in my brain. It feels like everyone is against me. My own mother told me to leave her alone in a cold text at 6am. I only have two people in my life right now who I consider as compassionate to my situation. Everyone else hates my guts.

It's one of the main reasons I wanna CTB. I'm the problem, I'm like a rabid animal that needs to be put down. I'm full of hatred. I feel so distant from love.

 

[spring vainglory]

i feel you. i really just hate everyone who sees me suffering and ignores it. most of my friends i hate now. i only like very few people.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I guess the BPD is a real thing but be careful with the mental health diagnosis. I dated a chick diagnosed with BPD few years back and at any time she could become a completely different person. She went from being this super nice person who literally wouldn't hurt an insect that strayed into her apt. She would catch it gently then release it unharmed from her balcony. Then at any moment turn into this ruthless gangster chick who didn't care about anything or anyone but herself. Couldn't that also be diagnosed multiple personality disorder?

 

[ImTelling]

I guess the BPD is a real thing but be careful with the mental health diagnosis. I dated a chick diagnosed with BPD few years back and at any time she could become a completely different person. She went from being this super nice person who literally wouldn't hurt an insect that strayed into her apt. She would catch it gently then release it unharmed from her balcony. Then at any moment turn into this ruthless gangster chick who didn't care about anything or anyone but herself. Couldn't that also be diagnosed multiple personality disorder?

I don't know that person so I can't really say what else she was dealing with. I will say that I was diagnosed after a stay at an institution, it's a real diagnosis. To my knowledge I don't have anything else other than BPD and autism.

i feel you. i really just hate everyone who sees me suffering and ignores it. most of my friends i hate now. i only like very few people.

It's such a fucking nightmare.