Venting Bpd is fucking weird man it makes me so hard to deal with

[dreaming_of_pearl]

I genuinely have small addiction to posting here because I can say whatever I want for the first time in my life without worry of bothering somone

But man bpd is so hard and so stupid. My gf was showing me old pics of her and I was like ohhh my gosh she's so beautiful she really is I was having so much fun. Then out of nowhere I remembered before she met me that she had sex with other people before and got to do drugs and fun stuff and had fun experiences with other people before she met me.. then I remember that I don't feel like I do anything to make her happy and that I'm selfish and just a horrible person and I just make her and others feel bad for me. And then I remember that Theres a chance I might not be able to do any of those fun things again because of my sickness and it hurts.

I had to pretend I was ok like I was she looked so beautiful in those photos she always does, I just get sad that I feel I'll never be able to make her feel good or feel like that and she will be stuck with somone who can't ever make her feel as good as others did.

 

[DyingToDie123]

That's really painful, I'm so sorry :(

 

[VioletNebula]

That downward spiral gets triggered off the most innocuous and random things i swear. I'm sorry that happened, I understand the feeling all too well

 

[BrknEyes]

Bpd is such a shitty mental condition, sorry you're going through it as well, I hope it gets better.