BPD and mood swings

[anonbpdgirl]

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, which means I have unbelievable mood swings. I can go from happy to suicidal within a matter of minutes.

I'm wondering how the hell I'm ever supposed to stay suicidal for long enough to actually goddamn CTB. I am fed up of living, and fed up of being so controlled by my moods. When they sway, I can't imagine death. When they're bad, I can't imagine anything but. And I just want to go, for it to end.

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm sure that more helpful people/fellow sufferers will turn up presently. For now I just wish you as much peace as possible in whatever you do, living or dying. Hugs

 

[anonbpdgirl]

I'm sure that more helpful people/fellow sufferers will turn up presently. For now I just wish you as much peace as possible in whatever you do, living or dying. Hugs

Thank you. This message is so kind and honestly means a lot <3

 

[Darkhaven]

I never have been to a therapist so i don't have a diagnosis for BPD, but i sure as hell can relate to what people who have it normally describe.
In my case i believe it was the main cause for non existent social life, as my emotional instability made me cut ties with people i used to hang and talk to.
I go from actually finding someone likeable to absolutely despise them.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

I never have been to a therapist so i don't have a diagnosis for BPD, but i sure as hell can relate to what people who have it normally describe.
In my case i believe it was the main cause for non existent social life, as my emotional instability made me cut ties with people i used to hang and talk to.
I go from actually finding someone likeable to absolutely despise them.

What stops you from CTB?

 

[wildmoon]

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, which means I have unbelievable mood swings. I can go from happy to suicidal within a matter of minutes.

I'm wondering how the hell I'm ever supposed to stay suicidal for long enough to actually goddamn CTB. I am fed up of living, and fed up of being so controlled by my moods. When they sway, I can't imagine death. When they're bad, I can't imagine anything but. And I just want to go, for it to end.

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

I have BPD, I was diagnosed with a 'mild' form , but it still effects me badly with mood swings and emptiness...so I'd hate to think what the severe end of the spectrum is like. It is incredibly difficult and frustrating and I feel I am unqualified to give advice as I fail so much, but I go to certain websites like MIND and tried a few suggestions:

What can I do to help myself cope with BPD?

Tips on self-care if you're struggling with BPD. Includes advice on what you can do right now to manage different feelings, and what you can do longer term.

www.mind.org.uk

And talking with likeminded people always helps.

*hugs*

I never have been to a therapist so i don't have a diagnosis for BPD, but i sure as hell can relate to what people who have it normally describe.
In my case i believe it was the main cause for non existent social life, as my emotional instability made me cut ties with people i used to hang and talk to.
I go from actually finding someone likeable to absolutely despise them.

I imagine there are many undiagnosed people with BPD. I was not diagnosed until 2016 and I really did not know what it was until maybe 5 years ago? Everyone knows about bipolar but they do not know much about personality disorders. You sound like you could be from the symptoms you describe.
At least you are aware of it. *hug*

 

[Darkhaven]

I have BPD, I was diagnosed with a mild form , but it still effects me badly with mood swings and emptiness...so I'd hate to think what the severe end of the spectrum is like. It is incredible difficult and frustrating and I feel I am unqualified to give advice as I fail so much, but I go to certain websites like MIND and tried a few suggestions:

What can I do to help myself cope with BPD?

Tips on self-care if you're struggling with BPD. Includes advice on what you can do right now to manage different feelings, and what you can do longer term.

www.mind.org.uk

And talking with likeminded people always helps.

*hugs*



I imagine there are many undiagnosed people with BPD. I was not diagnosed until 2016 and I really did not know what it was until maybe 5 years ago? Everyone knows about bipolar but they do not know much about personality disorders. You sound like you could be from the symptoms you describe.
At least you are aware of it. *hug*

Have you been suggested some kind of "treatment".
Is it medication based or just therapy?

 

[wildmoon]

Have you been suggested some kind of "treatment".
Is it medication based or just therapy?

Ideally it should be both, because drugs alone cannot help. Unfortuantely here in England now you have little access to therapies because of cuts to the MH services, unless you go private, that is. With the NHS it takes a while to get referred and when you do get seen they prioritise the patients. So if you're sick enough i.e you have tried to committ suicide, then you will get the help first.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

I have BPD, I was diagnosed with a 'mild' form , but it still effects me badly with mood swings and emptiness...so I'd hate to think what the severe end of the spectrum is like. It is incredibly difficult and frustrating and I feel I am unqualified to give advice as I fail so much, but I go to certain websites like MIND and tried a few suggestions:

What can I do to help myself cope with BPD?

Tips on self-care if you're struggling with BPD. Includes advice on what you can do right now to manage different feelings, and what you can do longer term.

www.mind.org.uk

And talking with likeminded people always helps.

*hugs*



I imagine there are many undiagnosed people with BPD. I was not diagnosed until 2016 and I really did not know what it was until maybe 5 years ago? Everyone knows about bipolar but they do not know much about personality disorders. You sound like you could be from the symptoms you describe.
At least you are aware of it. *hug*

I've been on Mind, but their suggestions just don't seem to help me.

Ideally it should be both, because drugs alone cannot help. Unfortuantely here in England now you have little access to therapies because of cuts to the MH services, unless you go private, that is. With the NHS it takes a while to get referred and when you do get seen they prioritise the patients. If you have attempted suicide then they'll put your forward for DBT. The psych kept saying he'd put me forward for a DBT group but he kept stalling and I got fed up and left. They are quick to pump you full of drugs, though. So I dealt with taking myself off those drugs myself as they were not helping. Suicide seems like the best way out, tbh!

I have not even been able to see anyone about it and was diagnosed three years ago. It sucks.

 

[wildmoon]

I've been on Mind, but their suggestions just don't seem to help me.

I have not even been able to see anyone about it and was diagnosed three years ago. It sucks.

I understand, they have some tips but BPD is very hard to treat and it requires specialised help.

Three years is a long time, basically you're just left to it. Are you in the UK, also?

 

[anonbpdgirl]

I understand, they have some tips but BPD is very hard to treat and it requires specialised help.

Three years is a long time, basically you're just left to it. Are you in the UK, also?

Yeah, I'm in the UK too.

 

[BPD_LE]

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

Hello. I was diagnosed BPD 20 years ago. Maybe I could help? Been in treatment for 20 years too. Lost my best friend to it. There's not much I don't know! I'm in the UK.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

Hello. I was diagnosed BPD 20 years ago. Maybe I could help? Been in treatment for 20 years too. Lost my best friend to it. There's not much I don't know! I'm in the UK.

How have they treated you? So far I have had nothing, and been told I'm not eligible for anything because I'm not "bad enough". I'm currently waiting for an appointment months away just to talk about medication.

 

[welshie84]

I'm diagnosed with bpd caused by childhood trauma. I'm on mood stabilizers, anxiety medication and anti depressants. Still want to die

 

[BPD_LE]

How have they treated you?

Basically DBT, mindfulness. Bit of CBT. Even tried EMDR. And a hell of a lot of medication!

 

[anonbpdgirl]

I'm diagnosed with bpd caused by childhood trauma. I'm on mood stabilizers, anxiety medication and anti depressants. Still want to die

I have no idea what has caused my BPD. I'm sorry to hear about your trauma.

Basically DBT, mindfulness. Bit of CBT. Even tried EMDR. And a hell of a lot of medication!

Damn. I'm jealous.

 

[BPD_LE]

I'm diagnosed with bpd caused by childhood trauma. I'm on mood stabilizers, anxiety medication and anti depressants. Still want to die

My personal opinion is that there is a lot of over diagnosis of BPD. I've met a lot of people with the diagnosis. Some get better and the rest die. The ones that get better have mild symptoms or PTSD. But for those of us who's every second is marred with symptoms, there is little hope.

 

[anonbpdgirl]

My personal opinion is that there is a lot of over diagnosis of BPD. I've met a lot of people with the diagnosis. Some get better and the rest die. The ones that get better have mild symptoms or PTSD. But for those of us who's every second is marred with symptoms, there is little hope.

I've no idea about myself but I'm hoping I'm mild, just so I don't ruin my partners life by killing myself.

 

[BPD_LE]

I've no idea about myself but I'm hoping I'm mild, just so I don't ruin my partners life by killing myself.

I hope you get the help you need and wish you luck. Like I said, I have seen people officially diagnosed with BPD (rightly or wrongly) make a good recovery and go on to live a fulfilling life. There is hope for you, if you choose to follow it ❤

 

[marconk]

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

I have some pretty bad mood swings. Lately, I've been trying not to get too carried away when I'm on a high so that the next "fall" doesn't hurt as much. Not super useful but it helps a little bit

 

[welshie84]

Well yes my bpd is caused by trauma, so with that comes ptsd. I cant even smell alcohol without flying into a rage and also as soon as someone starts lying to me. I think my diagnosis is very accurate

 

[a_strange_day]

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, which means I have unbelievable mood swings. I can go from happy to suicidal within a matter of minutes.

I'm wondering how the hell I'm ever supposed to stay suicidal for long enough to actually goddamn CTB. I am fed up of living, and fed up of being so controlled by my moods. When they sway, I can't imagine death. When they're bad, I can't imagine anything but. And I just want to go, for it to end.

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

i was diagnosed with BPD some years ago but have been living with it for at least 25 years.
the only things which worked for me were
1 a lot of sport, everyday if possible, running, boxing etc...
2 keep myself/my mind busy, the less time i had to think the better
2 benzos, sadly a lot, AD
therapy didn't help at all, but maybe it's because i've never believe in it

I said "worked" because with the years my BPD has evolved into something even worse, MPD/MDD and now nothing works anymore
i hope it wont be the same for you and wish you good luck

Basically DBT, mindfulness. Bit of CBT. Even tried EMDR. And a hell of a lot of medication!

lol EMDR. i still remember the 4 sessions i did, my therapist was so tired that he couldn't keep his arm up

 

[BPD_LE]

lol EMDR. i still remember the 4 sessions i did, my therapist was so tired that he couldn't keep his arm up

EMDR. What a load of shit! I had no idea what was going on!

 

[Aleksandra]

i have it, the only thing you can do is DBT treated with medications. most bpd's i know use quetiapine with some form of antidepressants. eventually i stopped doing any of those because nothing helped me really in the end lol. but i know at 30 it seems to be the worst for people who go untreated, and bpd is ranked as most likely to ctb over other mental health problems due to the nature of emotions and how badly it makes you feel

disclaimer: i'm only 19 but i got the 30 from a bpd groups i'm in. most people above 30 say that's the age you'll most struggle with

 

[BPD_LE]

i have it, the only thing you can do is DBT treated with medications. most bpd's i know use quetiapine with some form of antidepressants. eventually i stopped doing any of those because nothing helped me really in the end lol. but i know at 30 it seems to be the worst for people who go untreated, and bpd is ranked as most likely to ctb over other mental health problems due to the nature of emotions and how badly it makes you feel

disclaimer: i'm only 19 but i got the 30 from a bpd groups i'm in. most people above 30 say that's the age you'll most struggle with

I'm 37 and treated and I'm more ready to ctb than ever. My best friend died at the age of 39 by OD, she also had treatment. DBT has helped keep me alive but not solved the problem. I'm tired of being kept alive now. I use Quetiapine to knock me out, diazepam, baclofen and propranonol to chill, venaflaxine as an antidepressant. I've never met anyone over the age of 40 with the diagnosis. I intend to ctb before I'm 40. It's inhumane to live this way for this long.

 

[Aleksandra]

I'm 37 and treated and I'm more ready to ctb than ever. My best friend died at the age of 39 by OD, she also had treatment. DBT has helped keep me alive but not solved the problem. I'm tired of being kept alive now. I use Quetiapine to knock me out, diazepam, baclofen and propranonol to chill, venaflaxine as an antidepressant. I've never met anyone over the age of 40 with the diagnosis. I intend to ctb before I'm 40. It's inhumane to live this way for this long.

i cant imagine living with it for another 2 decades. i know some older people have it, but found better ways to cope but no fucking way is it worth half your life to be able to simply cope. not even properly live. it's such a chaotic disorder and i envy people who simply live with just depression and anxiety. sometimes i wish i was never diagnosed with bpd and made to believe i just had severe depression, then maybe i'd convince myself that's what it is, now all i do is justify my shitty actions on bpd without trying to get better because i gave up lol

 

[BPD_LE]

i cant imagine living with it for another 2 decades. i know some older people have it, but found better ways to cope but no fucking way is it worth half your life to be able to simply cope. not even properly live. it's such a chaotic disorder and i envy people who simply live with just depression and anxiety. sometimes i wish i was never diagnosed with bpd and made to believe i just had severe depression, then maybe i'd convince myself that's what it is, now all i do is justify my shitty actions on bpd without trying to get better because i gave up lol

I wish I could say something positive to you as your only 19 but i don't know what to say. I started my treatment at 18. This past 20 years of fighting has been for nothing. And I really did try, I put 100% effort into therapy. Suddenly I'm nearly 40 and realised I've just been going round in circles. It makes you tough though. Makes you resilient. Not much fazes me now. Things that traumatise other people, I can just brush off. But this is an existence not a life, there is no joy.

 

[Aleksandra]

I wish I could say something positive to you as your only 19 but i don't know what to say. I started my treatment at 18. This past 20 years of fighting has been for nothing. And I really did try, I put 100% effort into therapy. Suddenly I'm nearly 40 and realised I've just been going round in circles. It makes you tough though. Makes you resilient. Not much fazes me now. Things that traumatise other people, I can just brush off. But this is an existence not a life, there is no joy.

i've been guilty to say things that traumatise other people don't even make me flinch anymore. like even when i was sexually assaulted a year ago, i didn't even think about the next day. i guess we're so used to that trauma and that's sad. i have the nasty repeating cycle since i was 14, going from relationship to another, sleeping with random people everyday and i don't find any joy in it whatsoever. i thought i found someone who would love me for a long time (my first long term relationship) he only gave up. i don't want to go through that cycle again, i don't. i feel so much guilt to anyone i gave my last ex (long term) ptsd because of some of my actions.. not even just him. i never physically hurt him but some actions i do are simply disgusting. i've had treatment for mental health since i was 9, but only started for bpd at 17 because my fucking doctor refused to diagnose me as i was under 18. it was only until i was 17 he pulled the trigger because he knew i wasn't going to get better on just SSRI's and cbt. stupid.

 

[BPD_LE]

i've been guilty to say things that traumatise other people don't even make me flinch anymore. like even when i was sexually assaulted a year ago, i didn't even think about the next day. i guess we're so used to that trauma and that's sad. i have the nasty repeating cycle since i was 14, going from relationship to another, sleeping with random people everyday and i don't find any joy in it whatsoever. i thought i found someone who would love me for a long time (my first long term relationship) he only gave up. i don't want to go through that cycle again, i don't. i feel so much guilt to anyone i gave my last ex (long term) ptsd because of some of my actions.. not even just him. i never physically hurt him but some actions i do are simply disgusting. i've had treatment for mental health since i was 9, but only started for bpd at 17 because my fucking doctor refused to diagnose me as i was under 18. it was only until i was 17 he pulled the trigger because he knew i wasn't going to get better on just SSRI's and cbt. stupid.

Same, I've been in treatment since 14 but only officially got diagnosis at 18. They don't like to diagnose PD's under that age, which is stupid when it's obvious! I can relate to everything you have shared. Sending love, understanding, acceptance and support.

 

[Aleksandra]

Same, I've been in treatment since 14 but only officially got diagnosis at 18. They don't like to diagnose PD's under that age, which is stupid when it's obvious! I can relate to everything you have shared. Sending love, understanding, acceptance and support.

i've read somewhere that it's actually dangerous to give a bpd just SSRI's. idk how true it is but you know... yeah i think if they can at least give you the treatment as soon as your symptoms are obvious, regardless of age, and then give you an "official" diagnosis at 18, it would definitely help a lot of bpd's, because i think 18 is at the peak age where it becomes more challenging to treat. if you can tackle it at even 13, you could potentially save someone from fully developing it:( likewise