BPD and mood swings

[wildmoon]

I'm 37 and treated and I'm more ready to ctb than ever. My best friend died at the age of 39 by OD, she also had treatment. DBT has helped keep me alive but not solved the problem. I'm tired of being kept alive now. I use Quetiapine to knock me out, diazepam, baclofen and propranonol to chill, venaflaxine as an antidepressant. I've never met anyone over the age of 40 with the diagnosis. I intend to ctb before I'm 40. It's inhumane to live this way for this long.

*hugs* to you. I have known so many people who have BPD and I had no idea about it until my friend explained what it meant. Years later, I get a diagnosis. I am in my 40s. The psychiatrist told me that it gets better with age?? I am sorry you are in pain and the DBT did not work.. I often think the medical professionals don't know what to do with us.

i've read somewhere that it's actually dangerous to give a bpd just SSRI's. idk how true it is but you know... yeah i think if they can at least give you the treatment as soon as your symptoms are obvious, regardless of age, and then give you an "official" diagnosis at 18, it would definitely help a lot of bpd's, because i think 18 is at the peak age where it becomes more challenging to treat. if you can tackle it at even 13, you could potentially save someone from fully developing it:( likewise ♥

Right, this is the issue - many people are undiagnosed for years and years and it would help if it was diagnosed at an early age.

 

[Final Escape]

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, which means I have unbelievable mood swings. I can go from happy to suicidal within a matter of minutes.

I'm wondering how the hell I'm ever supposed to stay suicidal for long enough to actually goddamn CTB. I am fed up of living, and fed up of being so controlled by my moods. When they sway, I can't imagine death. When they're bad, I can't imagine anything but. And I just want to go, for it to end.

Does anyone have any experience with BPD or mood swings and have any advice?

I wish I had advice, mine is untreated and my life is basically chaos like all the time. My relationships are strained and I cannot rely on myself to not be triggered into terrible mental states. I accidentally bumped onto a workbook for bpd on kindle today and thought about trying it. It's by Dr. Fox. I have wanted to go to therapy but the issue for me is that I need some sort of long term inpatient because with my regularly fluctuating states I will just not show up even when I have an appointment with a therapist. I can't depend on myself to be consistent. It's such an annoying disorder to have because you are being run by your emotional state at any given time. I envy the people who can get things done and fulfill obligations no matter how they feel.

*hugs* to you. I have known so many people who have BPD and I had no idea about it until my friend explained what it meant. Years later, I get a diagnosis. I am in my 40s. The psychiatrist told me that it gets better with age?? I am sorry you are in pain and the DBT did not work.. I often think the medical professionals don't know what to do with us.



Right, this is the issue - many people are undiagnosed for years and years and it would help if it was diagnosed at an early age.

One reason I'm discouraged about getting help now is that my life has already been irreparably damaged by this disorder. So even if I start therapy now, I still won't have a life to look forward to one day. Not young enough to where it's going to open up future possibilities and erase the devastating past.

I'm 37 and treated and I'm more ready to ctb than ever. My best friend died at the age of 39 by OD, she also had treatment. DBT has helped keep me alive but not solved the problem. I'm tired of being kept alive now. I use Quetiapine to knock me out, diazepam, baclofen and propranonol to chill, venaflaxine as an antidepressant. I've never met anyone over the age of 40 with the diagnosis. I intend to ctb before I'm 40. It's inhumane to live this way for this long.

I'm 42 and I'm about at the breaking point.

 

[Rocksandsand]

This is just an opinion - but I believe DBT is more about making the neurotypicals around you more comfortable than actually treating BPD... I am not diagnosed with BPD because I don't meet the criteria fully, but I have traits (the suicidality being the major one)... So I can't speak with as much confidence as any of you. BPD is a horrible disorder. I had friends with it and the struggle is huge. My heart goes out to all of you

 

[welshie84]

It is hard to live with and others find me hard to be around. It's such a destructive disorder my life is a total mess because of it. No friends, no family. My best friend from age 11 to 35 blocked me because she couldn't understand why I keep pushing people away. She didn't really even try to understand my condition.

I haven't tried dbt. It sounds horrific

 

[Rocksandsand]

I have issues with the whole diagnosis... BPD is a logical response to trauma: a learned way of functioning. I don't want this to come across as insensitive or harsh - the reality is that whatever the name of it is, it's still incredibly debilitating and I am not trying to take that experience away or minimise it. It just pisses me off because of the stigma attached to the diagnosis. People aren't born with BPD. It's created by trauma. And if mental health clinicians were more trauma informed, maybe there would be less deaths associated with the illness

 

[wildmoon]

I wish I had advice, mine is untreated and my life is basically chaos like all the time. My relationships are strained and I cannot rely on myself to not be triggered into terrible mental states. I accidentally bumped onto a workbook for bpd on kindle today and thought about trying it. It's by Dr. Fox. I have wanted to go to therapy but the issue for me is that I need some sort of long term inpatient because with my regularly fluctuating states I will just not show up even when I have an appointment with a therapist. I can't depend on myself to be consistent. It's such an annoying disorder to have because you are being run by your emotional state at any given time. I envy the people who can get things done and fulfill obligations no matter how they feel.

One reason I'm discouraged about getting help now is that my life has already been irreparably damaged by this disorder. So even if I start therapy now, I still won't have a life to look forward to one day. Not young enough to where it's going to open up future possibilities and erase the devastating past.

I'm 42 and I'm about at the breaking point.

I hope the book is helpful in some way. I had a couple I downloaded from Audible. I wish I had good advice too, it's about survival most of the time. It's nice to have people to speak to, that's comforting in some way.

You describe things perfectly. It's hard to do so when people do not get it. It seems like bipolar is the one everyone refers to and they always ask if that's what I have. If the doctors were treating for just depression and it was not working, it's hardly our fault for not knowing what we have..we aren't doctors. Did they put you on any medications?

Sending you lots of love, I know that's not going to help but it is nice to know there are people whowill listen and know and understand what you are talking about.

I have issues with the whole diagnosis... BPD is a logical response to trauma: a learned way of functioning. I don't want this to come across as insensitive or harsh - the reality is that whatever the name of it is, it's still incredibly debilitating and I am not trying to take that experience away or minimise it. It just pisses me off because of the stigma attached to the diagnosis. People aren't born with BPD. It's created by trauma. And if mental health clinicians were more trauma informed, maybe there would be less deaths associated with the illness

Right!
You are correct. Also there seems to be a discussion about whether it is BPD or whether it is complex PTSD...and then there is the whole issue of the name personality disorder - it is an unstable mood than anything, I feel and some psychiatrists refer to it as such. People hear 'personality disorder' and think it's split personality. Also, there is a stigma about BD being nasty and dangerous like the the bunny boiler in Fatal Attraction - and they fail to realise that is is a spectrum. A lot of sufferers hurt themselves rather than anyone else.

 

[welshie84]

From what I'm told by my psychiatrist, I have bpd caused by a traumatic childhood. My brain doesn't respond to emotions properly, and I cant seem to regulate my emotionsk response to every day things in life. I feel
Anger and upset most days and take almost every comment very personal and I then go around in circles with it. My anxiety is very debilitating to every day life I have panic attacks every day. I cant sleep.
I feel a huge sense of panic and abandonment every single day.

I'm on 200mg quetiapine twice a day.
300mg pregabalin twice a day and 40mg prozac twice a day .

Head very much in the shed. As they say.

 

[Final Escape]

I hope the book is helpful in some way. I had a couple I downloaded from Audible. I wish I had good advice too, it's about survival most of the time. It's nice to have people to speak to, that's comforting in some way.

You describe things perfectly. It's hard to do so when people do not get it. It seems like bipolar is the one everyone refers to and they always ask if that's what I have. If the doctors were treating for just depression and it was not working, it's hardly our fault for not knowing what we have..we aren't doctors. Did they put you on any medications?

Sending you lots of love, I know that's not going to help but it is nice to know there are people whowill listen and know and understand what you are talking about.


Right!
You are correct. Also there seems to be a discussion about whether it is BPD or whether it is complex PTSD...and then there is the whole issue of the name personality disorder - it is an unstable mood than anything, I feel and some psychiatrists refer to it as such. People hear 'personality disorder' and think it's split personality. Also, there is a stigma about BD being nasty and dangerous like the the bunny boiler in Fatal Attraction - and they fail to realise that is is a spectrum. A lot of sufferers hurt themselves rather than anyone else.

Yea I was at one time on many medications over the years but it didn't work because i was not working through the trauma, not learning the coping skills, the issue was not depression although the disorder will make u depressed. It was the inability to properly handle and solve problems, self regulation.

 

[wildmoon]

Yea I was at one time on many medications over the years but it didn't work because i was not working through the trauma, not learning the coping skills, the issue was not depression although the disorder will make u depressed. It was the inability to properly handle and solve problems, self regulation.

Yep, same. That seems to be the issue, medicating people and not learning to cope with the trauma.

 

[Azul]

*hugs* to you. I have known so many people who have BPD and I had no idea about it until my friend explained what it meant. Years later, I get a diagnosis. I am in my 40s. The psychiatrist told me that it gets better with age?? I am sorry you are in pain and the DBT did not work.. I often think the medical professionals don't know what to do with us.



Right, this is the issue - many people are undiagnosed for years and years and it would help if it was diagnosed at an early age.

Hello can I ask you what are your symptoms? And what makes your live so hard? Thank you

 

[BPD_LE]

Yep, same. That seems to be the issue, medicating people and not learnign to cope with the trauma.

DBT teaches you to cope with how your feeling now. I asked the psychologists for help with dealing with my past and they said that won't work, you need more DBT. It's all shit and I've lost total faith in all services. I'm desperate for help but they dont really care. I need to ctb asap coz I can't actually bare this anymore.