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That must be really difficult. I know he was the one that could change your life for the positive if you ever got untrapped.
892 I just feel so lost now. I don't know how else I am supposed to get better except relying on someone. I felt like he wasn't going to abandon me as we have known each other for 2 years now and despite the harm we have done to do each other in our relationship, we still cared for each other deeply and wanted to stick around for the other person. However I guess my transgressions has caught up to me now as the mum hates me now and he can't regularly talk to me now. I worried about trying to find a new person now as I have to start the process of being scared of abandonment again.
I don't think he would be horrified by it as we have had long conversations here before, even with him here so we won't mind that. He would probably just be confused and not being able to properly understand what I am feeling as he seemed to be aromantic but he wouldn't judge it as he knows people can experience things differently. Maybe be flattered by how much I value him.
Yeah, confused sounds about right for him I guess
I guess the correct word to use here is that he would feel appreciated. Thats what he said when I made a drawing just for him.
892
That was nice of you. I'm sure he did feel appreciated. Especially as time went by, I almost sensed that he was mellowing a tiny bit, not in his views about life or ctb, but just he seemed to be forming more connections with people, and in casual conversation, joking wise, and more understanding of other ways of thinking like he says in that quote. I think he learned a lot here and he was already incredibly smart to begin with!
