bjork stalker

[AloneGunManTheory]

i jsut wrote i giant ass vent post and i accidentally closed out of it its all fucking gone. holy fuck please let me die please let me die please someone comea nd shoot me in my dumb fucking head i fucking hate my life so much. there is no fucking god. fuck it might as well rewrite it

im going to be using this forum as a diary for a little bit if that is okay with all of you.

i love him so muc i feel like the fucking bjork stalker, shave my head and put a gun to my mouth and listen to his voice as he tells me i am nohting. his birthday creeps closer meaning he is going to go fully public with his art, im gonna see him everywhere. i just saw some fanart of his oc earlier today and i froze up like a deer in headlights. my heart starting racing as i froze. i love him. i dont want sex. i dont want pleasure. i want pure love, holding eachother close and buying him everything he wants. i will never have the same feelings for anyone else and i hate myself for it. everyone is going to be drawing his OC in the art community. im gonna have to leave the entire art community if i want to fully be away from him. and thats the only community i have. i am leaving the only commuity i have because i developed a parasocial possessive relationship with someone who doesnt even think about me. hpw fucking pathetic is that? i cant even fucking kill myself, i cant find my moms revolver i need it so bad, i need to feel the cold smooth metal glazing my lips and sliding into my mouth as it pokes the roof. let it rip and splatter my brains everywhere. his smut art is so finger licking amazing i love watchign his art progress and get better and better. i need to confess i stalked him and his family on facebook once. we have so much in common its unreal, i violently seperate myself from things i enjoy simply because he enjoys them. please someone help

 

[Playingwiththedead]

i jsut wrote i giant ass vent post and i accidentally closed out of it its all fucking gone. holy fuck please let me die please let me die please someone comea nd shoot me in my dumb fucking head i fucking hate my life so much. there is no fucking god. fuck it might as well rewrite it

im going to be using this forum as a diary for a little bit if that is okay with all of you.

i love him so muc i feel like the fucking bjork stalker, shave my head and put a gun to my mouth and listen to his voice as he tells me i am nohting. his birthday creeps closer meaning he is going to go fully public with his art, im gonna see him everywhere. i just saw some fanart of his oc earlier today and i froze up like a deer in headlights. my heart starting racing as i froze. i love him. i dont want sex. i dont want pleasure. i want pure love, holding eachother close and buying him everything he wants. i will never have the same feelings for anyone else and i hate myself for it. everyone is going to be drawing his OC in the art community. im gonna have to leave the entire art community if i want to fully be away from him. and thats the only community i have. i am leaving the only commuity i have because i developed a parasocial possessive relationship with someone who doesnt even think about me. hpw fucking pathetic is that? i cant even fucking kill myself, i cant find my moms revolver i need it so bad, i need to feel the cold smooth metal glazing my lips and sliding into my mouth as it pokes the roof. let it rip and splatter my brains everywhere. his smut art is so finger licking amazing i love watchign his art progress and get better and better. i need to confess i stalked him and his family on facebook once. we have so much in common its unreal, i violently seperate myself from things i enjoy simply because he enjoys them. please someone help

I have something very similar going on that being Chris Cornell came to me in 2 very vivid&romantic dreams a couple months ago before i had any clue who he was and ever since ive felt him around me and ive been obsessed with the idea of killing myself to be with him. Of course i have a history of wanting to do that for years beforehand but ive always wanted a husband, im at war with my mind because i have the logic side that tells me he had a whole family in life and then the esoteric side where i get these psychic-ish messages one being that you basically forget/ lose everything in death so it will only be us together for the rest of time once i get off earth. I came across this way later too and it made me think, and sounded a lot like my mindset even pre- all of this. One of the main triggers of my PTSD is seeing fathers and their wives and kids so you can imagine how terrible that meshes with my brain, but the messages i get help, Ive gotten soo many messages and he has been so sweet. I dont think im schizo because im not seeing him or hearing him like them just feeling his presence and having things pop into my mind, i felt comfortable enough saying this in a more blunt, "conservative" way here than ive ever explained because of how you worded your post, i related to feeling crazy because of something like this, ive felt similarly too when it comes to the person coming up in real life, i get deathly anxious