Venting Birthdays already suck but this one really hurt

[NormallyNeurotic]

I had talked to someone I really really really care about on Discord how I'm struggling with my birthday coming up and we had a great conversation. It had helped so much, and I had told him I'd message him when his bday comes up first thing in the morning. He said he'd do it too.

I was looking forward to it and held onto ut during moments I felt like I was falling apart. Recovering from horrible arguments with my mom, crying from flashbacks, suicidal from the realization that I'm turning 21 and I have no education while everyone else (including him) are in fucking college. I told myself at least I'd see that message so the birthday wouldn't suck that bad.

Well, he didn't send it. He didn't respond to any messages that day actually. We're both forgetful people, and he's been dealing with a lot lately so I assume he had important things on his mind. If not DMing me is what kept him sane that day, I'm fine with that. I just wish I knew if that was why or not. Frankly it really hurt. Genuinely felt fucking devastating. And I'm aware that's just because I'm unstable, but still. It did.

I just wish he hadn't told me he'd message me on that day. I got my hopes up. I leaned on the wrong thing. I would have rather him have just said "thank you" to me saying I'll do that for him on his birthday than him say "I'll do the same" if he wasn't 100% sure it would come to fruition.

I'm not sure when or if I'll ask him why. He hasn't DMed me since that day, but he has been online. I don't have the heart to message right now. I still plan to do what I promised on his birthday. He deserves a good message like that, and I love him... so revenge isn't the answer here. I'm just. Tired. I feel like I'm overreacting. I thought he understood how much it meant to me

 

[nuggetfinder]

You're not overreacting, he made a promise and didn't keep it. You're allowed to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you're also allowed to be disappointed that things didn't go the way you expected. Especially on your birthday. Just don't let something like this keep you from getting your hopes up in the future. Happy belated birthday, I hope your day wasn't too bad

 

[darksouls]

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

 

[sanrioslayer]

Dont let people online ruin your day lets be real, we dont actually know anyone until we've met them IRL. Usually people IRL are completely different from how they are online. I understand why ur upset but try to not let people online affect u too much

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Dont let people online ruin your day lets be real, we dont actually know anyone until we've met them IRL. Usually people IRL are completely different from how they are online. I understand why ur upset but try to not let people online affect u too much

This is someone I've known since I was 19, and I really care about him so. During the same conversation I casually mentioned meeting in person some day and he actually seemed receptive.

Like I understand your message but if what you're saying is the case than I've never had any real friends because I grew up in an extremely controlling/abusive environment, unable to make healthy connections anywhere but online. Some of these online friends have known me since I was 13 even

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

You're not overreacting, he made a promise and didn't keep it. You're allowed to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you're also allowed to be disappointed that things didn't go the way you expected. Especially on your birthday. Just don't let something like this keep you from getting your hopes up in the future. Happy belated birthday, I hope your day wasn't too bad

Thank yall so fucking much. I really needed to hear this. He said before this that we're allowed to be "selfish" on our birthdays so maybe he won't be upse if I ask why...

 

[MissAbyss]

As above already mentioned, you didn't overreacted. I want to wish you a belated happy birthday, hopefully next year will be a better one.