Help Birthday and depression

[Tired_of_myself]

tomorrow is my birthday and It's always a hard time…each year gets harder, I'm feeling anxious and sad… how do you deal with this "big" dates? Is there anything that helps get through it?

 

[unluckysadness]

I really HATE birthdays. It gives me more stress and it's a non-event. I hate everything these times. Don't talk me about Xmas and New year's eve.
Everybody will tell you "happy birthday" but I won't. I don't know what's happy when you're depressed and sick.
I just wish you PEACE (the greatest gift of all IMHO)

 

[MrHappyFace]

Sorry to hear about being worried... One thing you could do is to take yourself on a date to buy yourself a gift. Something cheery and colorful to brighten up the home, perhaps.

 

[anhedonic_moron]

Sorry to hear about being worried... One thing you could do is to take yourself on a date to buy yourself a gift. Something cheery and colorful to brighten up the home, perhaps.

this. treat yourself

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I really HATE birthdays. It gives me more stress and it's a non-event. I hate everything these times. Don't talk me about Xmas and New year's eve.
Everybody will tell you "happy birthday" but I won't. I don't know what's happy when you're depressed and sick.
I just wish you PEACE (the greatest gift of all IMHO)

I really HATE birthdays. It gives me more stress and it's a non-event. I hate everything these times. Don't talk me about Xmas and New year's eve.
Everybody will tell you "happy birthday" but I won't. I don't know what's happy when you're depressed and sick.
I just wish you PEACE (the greatest gift of all IMHO)

Thanks for the peace wishes, lol makes a lot of sense for me. I hope we get through this holiday season, this time of the year is so hard… New Year's Eve for is the worst hahaha makes me wanna disappear

 

[unluckysadness]

Thanks for the peace wishes, lol makes a lot of sense for me. I hope we get through this holiday season, this time of the year is so hard… New Year's Eve for is the worst hahaha makes me wanna disappear

You're welcome New Year's Eve is the worst for me too. Just a simple date on a calendar. Everybody sending best wishes but what will be will be...
That's why I'm alone since 20 years at this date. Every December 31st I watch the Mr Bean episode when he's with his 2 "friends". I live alone so It's a small consolation to know I'm not the only one to have a shitty life. Of course it's a TV show but I like this character because I'm a weird guy like him.

 

[sonnyw]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
I hope you have a wonderful day

I suggest you do something for yourself today, if you can and want to. Maybe go to the cinema or take a walk in the woods? Whatever you prefer, it's your day!

 

[darksouls]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
I hope you can find some peace and comfort

 

[woofwag]

I think what helps people with "big" dates like this is going to vary widely. For me, the only thing that made it more bearable was by not acknowledging it at all. I don't typically tell people when my birthday is anyway, but I told anyone who knows to not say anything, and to not give me any gifts. Treating it like just another day was so helpful. It made it so that later I felt more comfortable to celebrate myself a little and give myself a treat just for existing. I liked not having my age attached to it. Idk what will help for you, but regardless, I hope your birthday can be at least somewhat happy for you <3

 

[slapntickle]

I totally get it. I go into a very dark place every time I have a birthday - mostly the whole day spent in bed, in tears. I always reflect on how I've achieved so little of what I wanted to, of how bad my life is compared to what I thought it would be, and how I was be so disappointed in myself if my younger self could see me. I reject all calls (although there barely are any), and don't reply to messages. Family knows it so they respect my boundaries, but I hate it, and it pretty much lasts for the next month and a half. I'm always close to CTBing after that. I'm really not sure how to handle it.

 

[suicidesergal]

Birthdays are consensual.

Don't like them? Don't have them.

 

[slapntickle]

Birthdays are consensual.

Don't like them? Don't have them.

But it's really not like that is it? If it was up to me, my birthday would not be celebrated in any way whatsoever, it wouldn't even be marked on the calendar and only I would know it... but those around us, especially parents and close relatives, want to celebrate that day, and will force some form of celebration on you. However much you might not want to recognise it, others will want to. As long as I'm alive (which in all fairness will probably not be that long!), I will make sure my son celebrates and is happy on his birthday.
I remember my first birthday at University, and my new girlfriend had (really sweetly) organised a group of people to meet in a pub as a surprise... except they weren't really my friends, we didn't like each other at all, and had basically come because they couldn't say no to her. It was jaw-shakingly awkward, and I was sweating profusely because I wanted it to end so much. She organised it coming from a very good place, but the result was horrific for everyone involved.

 

[nocatwaslost]

You're welcome New Year's Eve is the worst for me too. Just a simple date on a calendar. Everybody sending best wishes but what will be will be...
That's why I'm alone since 20 years at this date. Every December 31st I watch the Mr Bean episode when he's with his 2 "friends". I live alone so It's a small consolation to know I'm not the only one to have a shitty life. Of course it's a TV show but I like this character because I'm a weird guy like him.

How is the episode called? I just saw Love actually but it has been so many years since I watched Mr. Bean

 

[parader]

tomorrow is my birthday and It's always a hard time…each year gets harder, I'm feeling anxious and sad… how do you deal with this "big" dates? Is there anything that helps get through it?

I was late to my birthday party a couple years ago cause I couldn't stop crying. Watching that silly remix of Bob Ross on repeat for almost an hour was the only thing that seemed to get me to even attend it at all. Ain't sure it would work for you, but sometimes it's really about the small things.

edit: omg totally didn't check it was posted Wednesday, happy birthday!