Birth control

[Emilyismew]

I've been on birth control for a month now and my depression is awful. My boyfriend wanted me to go on it. I warned him of the effects it has on me. There's days where I just get random thoughts to kill myself. Right now I'm fighting the urge to not hurt myself. I just want to feel sad and cry. And cutting myself is what I think I need to help me. I've been putting on a fake happy front for him. But I don't know how long I can't keep it up. He's very nice and caring. Happy go lucky type of guy. And I don't want to scare him off. It's not his fault I feel this way. It just happens and I wish I was normal. Even with out birth control I feel this way. Just not as frequently.

 

[MissKatrina]

Get off it. There's no point killing your life and libido for birth control. Might as well choose abstinence as birth control. There are soooo many more BC options and I hate that the pill is often the first choice. Has so many side effects. Can I highly recommend getting a non hormonal IUD aka copper coil? (99.2% effective) Or you can get a diaphragm which is a little less reliable but can be used with spermicide to increase reliability. Condoms work great too and protect from STI. They have male and female types. PM me if you want more details about anything. This is a topic I can talk about for hours.

It's the responsibility of both (or all) partners to practice safe sex. Not just yours. You aren't a sex doll. You're a real person that should be respected and valued and treated well. If he's a caring guy and worth your time, then he won't push you to stay on the pill. Plus relationships should be fun. If you're faking happy, it's not really worth it. It's not about scaring him off- meds aren't toys. They don't suit everyone. Be upfront that it's giving you intolerable side effects and switch.

 

[Final Escape]

This is was what happened to me. I couldn't tolerate any of them. The worst part of birth control is it's not as effective as they claim so there's still a reasonable chance of getting pregnant. Especially on the low dose ones. I couldn't tolerate it because I got terribly depressed and I was crying all the time. Plus it makes u get fat and struggle to orgasm. I'm like wow! This is terrible. I decided to just be extremely careful with condoms and u can get a plan B at Walgreens if u have an accident. Tell him if he wants to keep having sex with u then he needs to be willing to marry u, because u don't want to have to abort a baby if he's just wasting your most eligible years using u for sex and not wanting to take responsibility for the consequences. I ended up having multiple abortions because I was not married and the guy didn't commit. Ended up childless. Should u ever need an abortion u need to understand that there's consequences to future pregnancies and it causes psychological trauma so don't get an abortion if u ever get pregnant. The reprucussions can be very serious. Upping risk for suicide and relationship problems afterwards. Struggling after an abortion. Especially if u have more than one. Sorry I just had to share my horror story and some truths about birth control. They lie to women about how great birth control is and it's effectiveness. The only real birth control is abstinence or abortion. Abortion is definitely murder even though they say the baby is not viable outside the womb. It's not just a clump of cells. It's a human being in there. If the guy doesn't want to make a commitment then u need to find a guy who takes this seriously so u don't end up a single mother or turning to abortion. Guys will absolutely waste your time because men can have babies into older ages and they mature later than women. Women are most attractive to men while young so we have to find a guy by our early 20's ideally who can provide in the event of a pregnancy. It's more important for a woman to find a guy sooner or it gets much harder for us as we get into late 20's onward. Nobody tells women this unfortunately and many of us end up childless or partnerless as the best guys are mostly gone by the time u are like 30. Or u had too many sex partners and feel jaded by then making it harder to form a relationship with a new guy. U can get a career later in life as a woman, after kids and finding a guy but it's harder to do if u prioritize career or job too much and not try to find a guy while u are at most attractive.

 

[MissKatrina]

This was what happened to me. I couldn't tolerate any of them. The worst part of birth control is it's not as effective as they claim so there's still a reasonable chance of getting pregnant. Especially on the low dose ones. I couldn't tolerate it because I got terribly depressed and I was crying all the time. Plus they make u get fat and struggle to orgasm. I'm like wow! This is terrible. I decided to just be extremely careful with condoms and u can get a plan B at Walgreens if u have an accident. Tell him if he wants to keep having sex with u then he needs to be willing to marry u, because u don't want to have to abort a baby if he's just wasting your most eligible years using u for sex and not wanting to take responsibility for the consequences. I ended up having multiple abortions because I was not married and the guy didn't commit. Ended up childless. Should u ever need an abortion u need to understand that there's consequences to future pregnancies and it causes psychological trauma so don't get an abortion if u ever get pregnant. The repruccsions can be very serious. Upping risk for suicide and relationship problems afterwards. Struggling after an abortion. Especially if u have more than one. Sorry I just had to share my horror story and some truths about birth control. They lie to women about how great birth control is and it's effectiveness.

Agree with everything but the marriage part. If a guy wants sex he needs to be aware of the fact kids can happen and be willing to co parent or openly discuss and support what happens. It's why I recommend IUDs, depo shots and implants if you definitely want to avoid pregnancy. 99%+ reliability. But it's experimentation to see what suits you.

 

[faust]

Hello,
The situation is very sad itself, however it does not mean that it will last forever and I can explain you why.
First of all, say to him that you won't take pills anymore and that is your final decision because they ruin your health. It is your responsibility to take care of your health, if he obliges you to take them, it is time to think whether you need such a person, who puts pleasure on first place, on your life journey.
If he says that he disagrees and not forcing you but recommending, you can tell him that from now on you will have to use condoms and there will be no vaginal sex without condoms. This should be taken as a rule for all couples which do not plan kids: no condoms - no vaginal sex.
You are not his property even if he cares and loves you. However, if he neglects your health and your free will, love and care do not matter.

 

[Oyoy]

What about the nuvaring?

 

[The Dark Chaos]

I've been on birth control for a month now and my depression is awful. My boyfriend wanted me to go on it. I warned him of the effects it has on me. There's days where I just get random thoughts to kill myself. Right now I'm fighting the urge to not hurt myself. I just want to feel sad and cry. And cutting myself is what I think I need to help me. I've been putting on a fake happy front for him. But I don't know how long I can't keep it up. He's very nice and caring. Happy go lucky type of guy. And I don't want to scare him off. It's not his fault I feel this way. It just happens and I wish I was normal. Even with out birth control I feel this way. Just not as frequently.

I think if he would have been the right one, he would've seen the hurt in your eyes despite the hapoy fake you're putting on. So maybe, think about it. There's no reason for you to hurt yourself over this. Have some space, take a break and try to feel alive and not just survive.

 

[MartyByrde]

This is was what happened to me. I couldn't tolerate any of them. The worst part of birth control is it's not as effective as they claim so there's still a reasonable chance of getting pregnant. Especially on the low dose ones. I couldn't tolerate it because I got terribly depressed and I was crying all the time. Plus it makes u get fat and struggle to orgasm. I'm like wow! This is terrible. I decided to just be extremely careful with condoms and u can get a plan B at Walgreens if u have an accident. Tell him if he wants to keep having sex with u then he needs to be willing to marry u, because u don't want to have to abort a baby if he's just wasting your most eligible years using u for sex and not wanting to take responsibility for the consequences. I ended up having multiple abortions because I was not married and the guy didn't commit. Ended up childless. Should u ever need an abortion u need to understand that there's consequences to future pregnancies and it causes psychological trauma so don't get an abortion if u ever get pregnant. The reprucussions can be very serious. Upping risk for suicide and relationship problems afterwards. Struggling after an abortion. Especially if u have more than one. Sorry I just had to share my horror story and some truths about birth control. They lie to women about how great birth control is and it's effectiveness. The only real birth control is abstinence or abortion. Abortion is definitely murder even though they say the baby is not viable outside the womb so it's not just a clump of cells. It's a human being in there. If the guy doesn't want to make a commitment then u need to find a guy who takes this seriously so u don't end up a single mother or turning to abortion. Guys will absolutely waste your time because men can have babies into older ages and they mature later than women. Women are most attractive to men while young so we have to find a guy by our early 20's ideally who can provide in the event of a pregnancy. It's more important for a woman to find a guy sooner or it gets much harder for us as we get into late 20's onward. Nobody tells women this unfortunately and many of us end up childless or partnerless as the best guys are mostly gone by the time u are like 30. Or u had too many sex partners and feel jaded by then making it harder to form a relationship with a new guy.

OP asked about hormonal birth control. You go on an anti-abortion rant--again--and tell her to make him marry her before she gets pregnant. What kind of shit is that?

We get it. You hate abortion and your repetitive abortions ruined your life. Quit shaming other people, directly and indirectly, with your highly biased and misinformed opinions.

Enough is enough! Find another reason to rant or take it to the trumpers. It has no place here.

 

[Oyoy]

W
OP asked about hormonal birth control. You go on an anti-abortion rant--again--and tell her to make him marry her before she geta pregnant. What kind of shit is that?

We get it. You hate abortion and your repetitive abortions ruined your life. Quit shaming other people, directly and indirectly, with your highly biased and misinformed opinions.

Enough is enough! Find another reason to rant or take it to the trumpers. It has no place here.

I'm totally pro choice but doesn't being regretful about abortion come with the territory of choice? I had an abortion ten years ago. The babys daddy ctbed. That was his choice.
I'm so greatful to not have a ten year old minnie me and minnie dead him that I want to scream hallaluya where ever I go but if someone else is regretful then they should have a voice too. Thanks for giving me a chance to proclaim my gratitude to not be a mom.

 

[Final Escape]

OP asked about hormonal birth control. You go on an anti-abortion rant--again--and tell her to make him marry her before she gets pregnant. What kind of shit is that?

We get it. You hate abortion and your repetitive abortions ruined your life. Quit shaming other people, directly and indirectly, with your highly biased and misinformed opinions.

Enough is enough! Find another reason to rant or take it to the trumpers. It has no place here.

Sorry I was hoping to save her from the same shit show that happened to me. It really is best for women to wait till marriage because all birth control even the iud u can get pregnant with. It's really a terrible situation to be in if u are placed in the position of having to abort, adopt, or single mother. Many of us don't hold out for a guy who is mature enough, stable enough, etc. As women rack up partners over time it gets more difficult for us to pair bond with a guy. Our ability to pair bond is damaged with many partners but for men it's not as damaging to have casual sex. They can still settle down at like 40 and not be phased by the many casual sex partners they had. Sorry I said marriage but ideally it would be best. I realize marriage is scary for guys nowadays because divorce laws favor women so men can really get screwed in divorce.

 

[Emilyismew]

Sorry I was hoping to save her from the same shit show that happened to me. It really is best for women to wait till marriage because all birth control even the iud u can get pregnant with. It's really a terrible situation to be in if u are placed in the position of having to abort, adopt, or single mother. Many of us don't hold out for a guy who is mature enough, stable enough, etc. As women rack up partners over time it gets more difficult for us to pair bond with a guy. Our ability to pair bond is damaged with many partners but for men it's not as damaging to have casual sex. They can still settle down at like 40 and not be phased by the many casual sex partners they had. Sorry I said marriage but ideally it would be best. I realize marriage is scary for guys nowadays because divorce laws favor women so men can really get screwed in divorce.

Im

What about the nuvaring?

I'm

I think if he would have been the right one, he would've seen the hurt in your eyes despite the hapoy fake you're putting on. So maybe, think about it. There's no reason for you to hurt yourself over this. Have some space, take a break and try to feel alive and not just survive.

lol maybe he would see it. But we haven't been seeing each other because of quarantine.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

Im

I'm

lol maybe he would see it. But we haven't been seeing each other because of quarantine.

Yeahh maybe then..I thought you guys were living together.

 

[_Minsk]

This is was what happened to me. I couldn't tolerate any of them. The worst part of birth control is it's not as effective as they claim so there's still a reasonable chance of getting pregnant. Especially on the low dose ones. I couldn't tolerate it because I got terribly depressed and I was crying all the time. Plus it makes u get fat and struggle to orgasm. I'm like wow! This is terrible. I decided to just be extremely careful with condoms and u can get a plan B at Walgreens if u have an accident. Tell him if he wants to keep having sex with u then he needs to be willing to marry u, because u don't want to have to abort a baby if he's just wasting your most eligible years using u for sex and not wanting to take responsibility for the consequences. I ended up having multiple abortions because I was not married and the guy didn't commit. Ended up childless. Should u ever need an abortion u need to understand that there's consequences to future pregnancies and it causes psychological trauma so don't get an abortion if u ever get pregnant. The reprucussions can be very serious. Upping risk for suicide and relationship problems afterwards. Struggling after an abortion. Especially if u have more than one. Sorry I just had to share my horror story and some truths about birth control. They lie to women about how great birth control is and it's effectiveness. The only real birth control is abstinence or abortion. Abortion is definitely murder even though they say the baby is not viable outside the womb. It's not just a clump of cells. It's a human being in there. If the guy doesn't want to make a commitment then u need to find a guy who takes this seriously so u don't end up a single mother or turning to abortion. Guys will absolutely waste your time because men can have babies into older ages and they mature later than women. Women are most attractive to men while young so we have to find a guy by our early 20's ideally who can provide in the event of a pregnancy. It's more important for a woman to find a guy sooner or it gets much harder for us as we get into late 20's onward. Nobody tells women this unfortunately and many of us end up childless or partnerless as the best guys are mostly gone by the time u are like 30. Or u had too many sex partners and feel jaded by then making it harder to form a relationship with a new guy. U can get a career later in life as a woman, after kids and finding a guy but it's harder to do if u prioritize career or job too much and not try to find a guy while u are at most attractive.

i would rather abort than having a child which i didnt wanted/could'nt care for in the first case, one short while of pain vs dooming a child for a life time to feel unwanted, developing psych. issues^^

 

[Final Escape]

i would rather abort than having a child which i didnt wanted/could'nt care for in the first case, one short while of pain vs dooming a child for a life time to feel unwanted, developing psych. issues^^

I used to think this way as well at one time. Until I became a lonely old childless single lady. Never imagined how painful it would be. I feel regret every day. I know maybe one abortion might not fuck u up that bad but u just don't know how vulnerable u are until u do it. It doesn't really hit u right away after an abortion. I would try to have the baby adopted if at all possible. So u don't have to live with it on your conscience for life. I just wonder about who they were, the 5 people I decided would be better off dead because it was convenient for me at the time. Most children are not wanted they just happen but I think too many people get hung up on the wanted or unwanted thing. Most people are just thinking about sex and not necessarily expecting or prepared for a child. Abortion really added to the idea that a child can be wanted or unwanted based on how the woman feels about it. I'm not saying women should be forced to have kids they don't want. Guys shouldn't have kids either if they don't want to but abortion can be really bad on a woman. I guess just be very careful.

 

[MartyByrde]

I used to think this way as well at one time. Until I became a lonely old childless single lady. Never imagined how painful it would be. I feel regret every day. I know maybe one abortion might not fuck u up that bad but u just don't know how vulnerable u are until u do it. It doesn't really hit u right away after an abortion. I would try to have the baby adopted if at all possible. So u don't have to live with it on your conscience for life. I just wonder about who they were, the 5 people I decided would be better off dead because it was convenient for me at the time. Most children are not wanted they just happen but I think too many people get hung up on the wanted or unwanted thing. Most people are just thinking about sex and not necessarily expecting or prepared for a child. Abortion really added to the idea that a child can be wanted or unwanted based on how the woman feels about it. I'm not saying women should be forced to have kids they don't want. Guys shouldn't have kids either if they don't want to but abortion can be really bad on a woman. I guess just be very careful.

Have you ever once considered that your own experiences and related feelings don't apply to everyone?

And if you could please refrain from stating your antiquated, inaccurate opinions as fact, that would be great. Thanks.

 

[ravergirl]

I have BPD, I'd be a really shitty mother, and I don't regret my abortions one bit.

 

[demon bunny]

omg please get an iud!!!!!

 

[ravergirl]

omg please get an iud!!!!!

Is that directed at me? Why do you care? How do you know I haven't gotten one, or gone on other b/c, since my last abortion? This seems like a really judgmental thing to say.

 

[shy]

The pill can mess with you badly, if he is the one longing for unprotected sex, why doesn't he just get a vasectomy.

I think its egotistical of him asking you to take it, when you've told him that you don't handle it very well. He is putting his own pleasure above your wellbeing, assuming you've made it clear to him, what impact taking the pill has on you.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Have you ever once considered that your own experiences and related feelings don't apply to everyone?

And if you could please refrain from stating your antiquated, inaccurate opinions as fact, that would be great. Thanks.

I just had to log in to tell you that your posts in this thread are rude and lacking compassion. That lady has been through absolute hell and you just need to kick her a bit more when she's already regretful? And yes, her experiences and feelings apply to other people as well, and I wish I had read her advice 10 years ago. I personally wish I had not postponed having children and prioritized having a career, as now I don't want to be an old mother. So let others decide what is relevant for them, please. Thank you.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I've been on birth control for a month now and my depression is awful. My boyfriend wanted me to go on it. I warned him of the effects it has on me. There's days where I just get random thoughts to kill myself. Right now I'm fighting the urge to not hurt myself. I just want to feel sad and cry. And cutting myself is what I think I need to help me. I've been putting on a fake happy front for him. But I don't know how long I can't keep it up. He's very nice and caring. Happy go lucky type of guy. And I don't want to scare him off. It's not his fault I feel this way. It just happens and I wish I was normal. Even with out birth control I feel this way. Just not as frequently.


It is not irregular to feel depressed on the pill and if he really is caring then he would understand why you cant use it

 

[MartyByrde]

I just had to log in to tell you that your posts in this thread are rude and lacking compassion. That lady has been through absolute hell and you just need to kick her a bit more when she's already regretful? And yes, her experiences and feelings apply to other people as well, and I wish I had read her advice 10 years ago. I personally wish I had not postponed having children and prioritized having a career, as now I don't want to be an old mother. So let others decide what is relevant for them, please. Thank you.

Opinions and personalities vary. I'm not here to make others happy or make friends. Therapists are for those seeking compassion. It's not my inherent job to try to make people feel better, nor is it for me to know their back stories. I don't live my life out on this site.

Calling women "old" mothers is also a pretty shitty thing to say.

 

[Ghost2211]

The progesterone in birth control can cause severe depression. Tell him to use a condom if he doesn't want kids. Why should you have to screw up your hormones.

Wow this post turned into a real shit storm... Reproductive choices are very personal and specific there is no right or wrong answer. Each person is the one that needs to endure the consequence, and this is the last place anyone should be judged for their choice of birth control, pregnancies, or abortions. The paths that lead to the things are not always as optional as people may like to think from their high horses. Show some support and compassion rather than judge.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm not here to make others happy or make friends.

Fine by me, but you should NOT be here to be disrespectful, harass, bully, or insult other members, per the Rules.

Young and old are factual issues. There are teen mothers, there are young mothers, there are old mothers.

It seems to me that you are a man with many frustrations so I would kindly suggest to vent your frustrations in a thread not dedicated to women.

 

[demon bunny]

Is that directed at me? Why do you care? How do you know I haven't gotten one, or gone on other b/c, since my last abortion? This seems like a really judgmental thing to say.

no it is not. its addressed to the OP. i would never tell a woman what to do with her body im just saying cause an iud isnt gonna mess with you like pills do.

 

[MartyByrde]

Fine by me, but you should NOT be here to be disrespectful, harass, bully, or insult other members, per the Rules.

Young and old are factual issues. There are teen mothers, there are young mothers, there are old mothers.

It seems to me that you are a man with many frustrations so I would kindly suggest to vent your frustrations in a thread not dedicated to women.

I'm on a fucking suicide site. Were you expecting rainbows and unicorns?

Why are you digging up old comments to rant about? Simply because it's not how you would handle it, doesn't make me wrong.

I think the word you're looking for is objective, and no, it doesn't apply to how you've used the term "old."

I support a woman's right to choose--period. I could say it was mean of her to come in with all that negative shit to the user who was considering abortion when she is already in crisis. That wasn't kind nor supportive from my perspective.

 

[Apathy's Girl]

Can I highly recommend getting a non hormonal IUD aka copper coil? (99.2% effective)

I also recommend the copper IUD. No hormones and you only need to change it once every ten years.

 

[Final Escape]

What about the nuvaring?

I tried that one. Still has the side effects and forget trying to have an orgasm. I don't remember totally it's been years ago but I stopped that pretty quick too. If anything I would maybe try the copper IUD but that can give u copper toxicity, and it can have serious side effects too. Really bad cramping, and heavier bleeding. That one sounds good bc it doesn't have the hormones but it doesn't mean it can't be pushed out of place and it might still be possible to get pregnant even though they claim 99%. I've heard of women getting pregnant with those too. It might be able to perforate your uterus which I don't know how common that is but it's just that no matter what kind u do there's risks. So just realize that u are putting something in your body that nature doesn't want there and will try to expel the foreign object or get u to.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm on a fucking suicide site. Were you expecting rainbows and unicorns?

I was expecting you as an user to follow the Rules.

Why are you digging up old comments to rant about? Simply because it's not how you would handle it, doesn't make me wrong.

I'm not digging up old comments, somebody else bumped the thread. I did not say how I would handle it, I stated how the Rules suggest you should handle it. Plus, what do you have to handle as a man, apart from handling yourself? Do you have children?

I support a woman's right to choose--period. I could say it was mean of her to come in with all that negative shit to the user who was considering abortion when she is already in crisis. That wasn't kind nor supportive from my perspective.

What user was considering abortion? This was a discussion about contraception, what on earth are you doing in this thread?? It doesn't sound like you need contraception to me.

 

[MartyByrde]

I was expecting you as an user to follow the Rules.


I'm not digging up old comments, somebody else bumped the thread. I did not say how I would handle it, I stated how the Rules suggest you should handle it. Plus, what do you have to handle as a man, apart from handling yourself? Do you have children?


What user was considering abortion? This was a discussion about contraception, what on earth are you doing in this thread?? It doesn't sound like you need contraception to me.

I shall flog myself for all the details I have confused and/or forgotten in one thread of thousands on this site.

You need to let this shit go already. Since you can't, I shall ignore you. Have a nice life.