Bipolar argh!

[Isit]

Hoping to connect with some other sufferers of this condition that understand.

Every time I get manic I feel "cured". I look back at depressive episodes and I wonder how I ever felt that way. Then the inevitable crash happens. Depression is a beast that cannot be reasoned with. You can't think your way out of it.

Friends and family just don't/can't get it. If only they knew the depths of this pain. I wish they could experience it just for a day.

I've been searching for a way out for such a long time. Psychiatric meds are just not good enough. They either don't work or they have ghastly side effects.

A few years ago I was convinced psychedelics were the answer. I had some amazing experiences with DMT and shrooms but I get carried away into lala land and end up manic in grippy socks.

Well I'm fed up with this depression hence me being here. Would like to know what's helped you guys cope?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

 

[Konjac]

Hey, I'm bipolar too and this really resonated with me. It would be easier to cope with if my brain just chose one, but the constant ups and downs are so draining. Thinking you're cured during mania only to eventually crash and be right back where you started is the most defeating feeling, and finding the right meds (if that's even possible) can take so long.

Honestly all of my coping mechanisms for my mood are unhealthy. I tend to completely isolate myself (something I'm working on) which is one of the most damaging parts. I've lost so many people to the depression and it's not something I'd wish on anyone, because there's nobody else to blame for it except myself but at the same time I can't control my mood at all. I think the healthiest one that helps me get through the worst of my depressive episodes is just distraction, distraction, distraction. The moment I'm not distracted by something is when the suicidal thoughts come in full blast so I try to keep as busy as possible. Even if it's really unproductive like scrolling through social media or watching TV, it's better to waste a few weeks not doing much than being alone with your thoughts.

Bipolar sucks but I have heard of people managing to live normal lives eventually which gives me a bit of hope. Apart from that, this disorder is pure CTB fuel. Wishing you the best and if you ever need to talk about it, my PMs are always open.

 

[someonelse]

I'm bipolar and also resonated with hour post. I wish I had an answer for you. I have extremely destructive psychotic episodes where I've ended up in jail or the case now where my landlord is trying to evict me (I smashed my hand through the window and threw out furniture).

I've been really interested in psychedelic therapy but some of it is expensive and it seems like it doesn't last long term.

I've been on every medication under the sun and still I'm back here, suicidal and depressed again. How long have you been diagnosed as bipolar? For me it's been about nine years. Nine years of hell.

I'm sorry I don't have better answers for you but just wanted to say I relate.

 

[Isit]

I'm bipolar and also resonated with hour post. I wish I had an answer for you. I have extremely destructive psychotic episodes where I've ended up in jail or the case now where my landlord is trying to evict me (I smashed my hand through the window and threw out furniture).

I've been really interested in psychedelic therapy but some of it is expensive and it seems like it doesn't last long term.

I've been on every medication under the sun and still I'm back here, suicidal and depressed again. How long have you been diagnosed as bipolar? For me it's been about nine years. Nine years of hell.

I'm sorry I don't have better answers for you but just wanted to say I relate.

I was diagnosed 7 years ago but I've been having episodes for about 12 years. I appreciate your post. To be honest if anyone had the answers I'm searching for I doubt they'd be on this website

I'm listening to an audio book that seems to be helpful. It's called Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer.

Also another thing that's helped me get out of a funk was the Wim Hof method. Try out his breathing exercises. At the moment I struggle to find the motivation to do it but it has helped in the past.

Stay strong my bipolar brother/sister. You're not alone.

 

[someonelse]

I was diagnosed 7 years ago but I've been having episodes for about 12 years. I appreciate your post. To be honest if anyone had the answers I'm searching for I doubt they'd be on this website

I'm listening to an audio book that seems to be helpful. It's called Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer.

Also another thing that's helped me get out of a funk was the Wim Hof method. Try out his breathing exercises. At the moment I struggle to find the motivation to do it but it has helped in the past.

Stay strong my bipolar brother/sister. You're not alone.

I read the Untethered Soul years ago and really liked it. I had actually forgotten about it so thanks for the reminder. And I've heard of Wim Hof recently because Frank Ocean interviewed him around Christmas (he's the ice bath guy, right?). Still haven't listened but I'll try to check it out.

Good luck to you. I'm in a bipolar support group that helps at times. It's through DBSA — they have groups all over the country. My hope is to ctb this weekend — not sure if I'll be brave enough but that's the current plan. I hope to escape this cruel disease entirely. Nine years of hospitalizations, jail, embarrassing myself on social media, being a public nuisance and a lot more (that's just the tip of the iceberg) is enough for me.