Discussion Better to have a fake friendship or no friends at all?

[WrathfulGloom32]

I quit my friend group a while back and I don't regret it at all personally; Now I'm only doing activities that can be done solo when I actually feel like doing them, although there is a lot of down time in between as I'm left with nothing to do when I usually did something I didn't want because of the group.

What do you think? Which one is better in your opinion?

 

[Grog]

No friends. But maybe you can make some friends who actually appreciate you. I hope you do.

 

[star.trip]

For me, it is preferable to have few friends but real friends for the good and bad times. To have false friends it is better not to have them. If you are around false friends, it is better to be alone than in bad company.

It's good to have a group of friends but it's also good to have your own space to do your own activities.
If you have that feeling that you are better off without them, it's because deep down you needed it.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

But maybe you can make some friends who actually appreciate you.

Small chance honestly.

If you have that feeling that you are better off without them, it's because deep down you needed it.

Now that I think of it, you can compare it to a job, many people go to a job because they care about money, they actually want it.

If I never really carved social interaction especially coming from fake people, I don't really miss it once it's gone even if the effects of it and it's lack might look like it impacts me; I mean it does, you go from spending time doing stuff with people to not doing that.

But if the nature of the friendship was ill and you didn't want it in the first place; have you really lost anything? Not really, you just don't have anything else to replace that time with so it feels like something is missing for the moment. In the last weeks that feeling has been going down.

 

[star.trip]

what I think, is: What is the concept that we have of friend or friendship. Because if a friend is false, then it is not a friend, it will be something else.
For me the word friend means someone with whom you feel like being, and is in all situations (good and bad) because in bad situations is where friends are really seen.

if the nature of the friendship was unhealthy I am sorry to say that it was not friendship. It was something else but it is not friendship.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

what I think, is: What is the concept that we have of friend or friendship. Because if a friend is false, then it is not a friend, it will be something else.
For me the word friend means someone with whom you feel like being, and is in all situations (good and bad) because in bad situations is where friends are really seen.

if the nature of the friendship was unhealthy I am sorry to say that it was not friendship. It was something else but it is not friendship.

Yeah most people have this, it's acquiantances or activity buddies. Most things in life and in my country are transactional. It's disgusting but it's society's normal. They can suck it.

 

[star.trip]

Unfortunately in this life you have to know how to differentiate between those who are really your friends (which in my country is said that you can only count on the fingers of one hand because there are usually few true friends), acquaintances, strangers... what country are you from?

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

Unfortunately in this life you have to know how to differentiate between those who are really your friends (which in my country is said that you can only count on the fingers of one hand because there are usually few true friends), acquaintances, strangers... what country are you from?

Romania

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's always better to have no friends in my opinion. Friends are too stressful

 

[star.trip]

Spain here

 

[no-hope-no-future]

When it comes to any kind of relationship with friends,quality is more important then quantity. Its better to have no friends then have 10 friends who are just using you for their own advantage at the expense of you as a person. If you must have friends then make sure they respect you otherwise tell them to go away!

 

[FoxSauce]

Well i gont have a group of freinds but is better quality than quantity.

Better of have a few freinds than not at all
People than dont take advantage of you. Non toxic or downplay your best and worst moments.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I think that it is (generally) better to have no friends in your life at all instead of having false friends. Speaking from personal experience: being on your own might make you feel lonely - depending on your personality and needs - but being surrounded by people who you share no connection with will make you feel even lonelier.

This is not to say that you should not socialize with others, if they are not in your life on a friendship level. Some people find that socializing with others, who they might only know as acquaintances, can help maintain their emotional and mental health - even if these interactions are mostly superficial; again: this depends on your personality traits, and whatever kind of life you want.

 

[Ezrazzle]

Really struggling with this myself rn. Just had a falling out with my best friend and housemate of 5 years and she's moved out now. She was not a great friend tbh, never showed any consideration and I always felt like I was the only one putting in any effort or like I cared for her far more than she did for me.

I know, logically, not having her in my life is not a loss considering how poor a friend she was, but the absence hurts. I don't know if I'll ever be that close to someone again, have someone who knows me that well.

It's a good thing she's gone but it's not a good thing for the absence...

 

[easyb123]

I quit my friend group a while back and I don't regret it at all personally; Now I'm only doing activities that can be done solo when I actually feel like doing them, although there is a lot of down time in between as I'm left with nothing to do when I usually did something I didn't want because of the group.

What do you think? Which one is better in your opinion?

I think some friends are meant to pass through your life. Guess it depends on the person: I'm more a "giver" & having superficial friendships ultimately makes me feel emptier than fewer friends. I don't have patience maintaining friendships that involve artifice for long.
I find true friendships much more rewarding, but rarer. The downside of having close friendships is the grief you process is massive when they end -because it was real. I know some ppl thrive on collecting "friends", the variety/ feeling popular/ etc.-it feeds them in different ways that also protect them from any real hurt. I may not connect with it, but I can understand the appeal.

So do you. Have friendships or "friendships" that make you feel good either way.

If a friendship stops feeling good tho & it's not a person you can talk it through with, it's probably a good sign the friendship has an expiration date.

 

[brokenspirited]

Number II.

 

[whywere]

I have never, except one lad who accidently died in 1982, any true friends that I could/can count on.

I am so used to being and doing everything by myself that it never crosses my mind anymore.

Walter