That I want to permanently cease existing, in fact such is all I want, for me non-existence is just all that's positive in this dreadful, torturous existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this cruel existence that I always saw as a mistake.
I just wish I never existed more than anything, I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed, for me existence is the problem and I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way, all I want is peace and for me peace could only lie in non-existence, I wish I could erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering.