Being told to “seek therapy”

[Hotsackage]

Bunch of know it all, condescending asshats with a piece of paper claiming to actually know what it's like to suffer. Some mean well, are helpful, others can't be bothered because our problems are to complex for their small brains.

 

[HereTomorrow]

As someone who tried therapy and met friends who did it, it all depends on the problem and how severely it's affecting you.

Half the friends who tried therapy have had their lives improved, recovered from suicidial thoughts, and overall happier. The other half felt unheard, their needs unmet, and left worse.

For me, I was SA'd and possibly suicidial a result, and I had massive fear of adults. Instead of analyzing why I was afraid of adults, they called me non-compliant, a troublemaker, and treatment resistant. Diagnosed me with depression and medicated me, when realistically I should of been given PTSD or some trauma related thing. I'm glad I left and I will never go back.

I've lost friends because they couldn't accept I was traumatized by therapy. Therapy trauma is never spoken about in the mainstream media and leads people like me to feel more isolated and unable to speak up. And because it's promoted all the time, refusal to them sounds like "You refuse to change and will continue to be toxic".

I truly believe therapy can help some people, it saved some of my friend's lives, but I am sick and tired of it being an all around blanket solution. "Go to therapy" sounds like "I don't like what you're saying so fix yourself". Sometimes what people needs is reassurance, a change of diet, or even disposable income in this ever changing world. Not someone telling them to change their mindset and blame them when the world set them up to be in agony.

 

[thenamingofcats]

As someone who tried therapy and met friends who did it, it all depends on the problem and how severely it's affecting you.

Half the friends who tried therapy have had their lives improved, recovered from suicidial thoughts, and overall happier. The other half felt unheard, their needs unmet, and left worse.

For me, I was SA'd and possibly suicidial a result, and I had massive fear of adults. Instead of analyzing why I was afraid of adults, they called me non-compliant, a troublemaker, and treatment resistant. Diagnosed me with depression and medicated me, when realistically I should of been given PTSD or some trauma related thing. I'm glad I left and I will never go back.

I've lost friends because they couldn't accept I was traumatized by therapy. Therapy trauma is never spoken about in the mainstream media and leads people like me to feel more isolated and unable to speak up. And because it's promoted all the time, refusal to them sounds like "You refuse to change and will continue to be toxic".

I truly believe therapy can help some people, it saved some of my friend's lives, but I am sick and tired of it being an all around blanket solution. "Go to therapy" sounds like "I don't like what you're saying so fix yourself". Sometimes what people needs is reassurance, a change of diet, or even disposable income in this ever changing world. Not someone telling them to change their mindset and blame them when the world set them up to be in agony.

What happened to you is terrible. No one deserves to lose friends because they have a different opinion about therapy. It has these weird religious vibes to me where if we leave we get shunned by the true believers. This probably sounds insane considering the post I left in this thread but I've gotten desperate enough to try another therapist. It was offered for free and I'm dumb enough to do this again. It's definitely due to the tiny hope that this time it might be good. And the fact that society doesn't offer any alternatives. But also, if you don't know about the Reddit therapy abuse sub it can be worth reading once in a while. It makes me feel like my experience wasn't that crazy afterall.

 

[moshimoshi]

I feel you on that so much, I'm so sorry. I hate when people try to force therapy on others especially if it's out of judgement. I had a roommate in college, who I wasn't even really friends with, harass me about it every single day just because I was clearly mentally ill. They would constantly ask about it, and tried to get me to talk to a classmate about therapy because apparently that person knew some good resources. I was really anxious and didn't want to, but he wasn't taking no as an answer so I just told him that I did talk to them about it. Then he talked to the person and found out I didn't talk to them, and confronted me about it

He would also make me sit down and talk about my mental health since I had been missing school more frequently, even if I wasn't feeling up to it he would hella pressure me and try to get me to talk about my trauma. He also said "if you keep saying you're a burden to others it will come true and people will start thinking you're a burden" needless to say I nicknamed him Mr.Therapist lmao. He would also spam me with messages about it even if I was in the middle of studying

Also for years pretty much everyone in my life has pressured me to seek therapy and it drove me away from getting therapy for a long time

 

[HereTomorrow]

But also, if you don't know about the Reddit therapy abuse sub it can be worth reading once in a while. It makes me feel like my experience wasn't that crazy afterall.

I love that subreddit, and I've participated there before joining SaSu. I like being here compared to Reddit because you still need to censor yourself somewhat on Reddit. Similar to SaSu however, it's so hard to talk about how much relief I felt from the community to my friends due to how non-mainstream the opinion is.

This probably sounds insane considering the post I left in this thread but I've gotten desperate enough to try another therapist. It was offered for free and I'm dumb enough to do this again. It's definitely due to the tiny hope that this time it might be good.

I think free therapy should actually be more of the norm, most of my friends who benefitted got it for free (Universal Healthcare). Despite the personal abuses I've faced, I believe it should be accessible to anyone who voluntarily wants it and just as much as a person goes to it they should have the right to leave if it isn't helpful, unlike my case where I realized a few months in it didn't work and I was stuck there for almost 2 years and $ 2,500 lost (this was with medical insurance).

 

[untothedepths]

For me, its because I don't have money. Which is ironic, because if I had a total mental breakdown then I'll finally receive help I may or may not be billed for. And if I am, I could easily become homeless. $100 to go to therapy is rent, groceries, and other stuff for some people. Food, water, shelter come before mental health. I find it totally ironic though, because overall it would be cheaper to make mental health accessible for everyone in the long run than the other way around.

 

[thealteredmind]

"seek therapy!! or seek help!!"

yeah I did that, several times... didn't work. what now?

 

[akwa]

I was *severely* retraumatized by my therapist of 2 years that I saw twice a week. It's driven me to this point. And everyone kept telling me to seek therapy. Again. After everything she fucking did to me.

Eventually, I actually did and guess what? I couldn't tolerate it because I had such a severe therapy trauma. So then everyone kept telling me to "take a break" from therapy. Then I did and struggled and everyone went back to "seek professional help".

You know what I learned? YOU CAN'T FUCKING WIN. People don't care. They're saying what they say to make THEMSELVES feel better, not to actually help you. We are all on our own. Help is an illusion.

Good luck to you. I genuinely mean that.

 

[dreamfloat]

Therapy hasn't helped me, but my sister just tells me to find a therapist whenever I talk to her about my mental health. It's invalidating and I want support from her and to talk to her, but all she can really offer is to tell me to go to therapy. I used to think my parents and my sister didn't care all that much, but maybe they do but they pin their hopes on therapy or medication being the solution so they can believe I'll get better, because they don't want to believe I can't be fixed.

 

[voc_89]

therapy is stigmatized in my country. If I told them my real thoughts and that I self-harm they would send me to the psychiatric hospital or what locals like to call the mental asylum. Off course this implies that whatever career/community standing/etc. I have would be gone. I would now just be known as the guy who stayed at the mad house. Wy in the hell would I put myself in a situation that will 100% destroy my livelihood when I am already hanging by a thread? But seek help they say. Suicides on the rise. Speak to someone. Smh. So clueless. Idk if others in different countries face those same stereotypes that, even if u want to, makes therapy very counter-productive

 

[bipbapbop]

Therapy hasn't helped me, but my sister just tells me to find a therapist whenever I talk to her about my mental health. It's invalidating and I want support from her and to talk to her, but all she can really offer is to tell me to go to therapy. I used to think my parents and my sister didn't care all that much, but maybe they do but they pin their hopes on therapy or medication being the solution so they can believe I'll get better, because they don't want to believe I can't be fixed.

This is so similar to my situation that I just got confused and thought i wrote this. I'm so sorry you're experiencing it too because I understand how painful and isolating that feels.