Being told to “seek therapy”

[Abysicle]

What a stupid slap on the wrist remark. Blah blah blah "get help" "seek therapy" and it's always something stupid. Should I seek therapy because I'm suicidal? I mean I have and it not only didn't work but also left me feeling betrayed. Still, whenever anyone says these things it's never from a point of concern, it's always fucking judgement.

I wish the world would stop promoting therapy as a fix for the issues they themselves create in their minds. Some people genuinely want to get better but can't yet some dumbass with a different opinion has to convince you that your difference ls are an issue.

Oh btw hi I'm @Abyssal and I'm back because telling myself to focus on recovery is the same shit I've always done and it hasn't worked. Life is a fucking joke and death will be my only salvation. Blah blah insert fc quote here

 

[divinemistress36]

People suggest therapy when they don't know what to say or want you to shut up basically

 

[Abysicle]

People suggest therapy when they don't know what to say or want you to shut up basically

Even that I understand (well not so much that as much as I expect it) but some people always use it as an insult.

 

[astonishedturnip]

"Why is mental health so stigmatized?? There's nothing wrong with getting help, don't suffer in silence! You're not alone!"

"lol you're having a problem that proper community would have supported you through just a few decades ago? Seek therapy lol get help bro nobody gives a fuck about your problems"

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

This reminds me that one of the people who made me suffer in life recommended therapy for me to feel better...

What irony...

 

[RoseGarden]

"Why is mental health so stigmatized?? There's nothing wrong with getting help, don't suffer in silence! You're not alone!"

"lol you're having a problem that proper community would have supported you through just a few decades ago? Seek therapy lol get help bro nobody gives a fuck about your problems"

Honestly when I'm at my lowest all I want is support from people who genuinely understand, who have felt the same way as me, and who have been through similar stuff. A therapist IS NOT one of those people. I hate when my suffering is pathologized and "dissected."

 

[dinosavr]

Sometimes I wonder— do they really not get it that if we could get over suicidal ideation, we would?? Because that's a gazillion times easier to live life when you actually want to live it and not go to sleep every day wishing not to wake up to the next one and struggling with every single simple task.
We aren't that stupid, are we??? There's just nothing that really makes it easier. And no one supports you unless you're offering to do your best every day (which is often still not enough). And who the hell would be ready to try and fight so hard when you see zero point in it. It just makes no sense.

 

[wastingpotential]

went to therapy on numerous occasions since childhood, one time when i had stopped and was in a really bad state for reasons that weren't even in my control (bad school / home life environment) old friends at the time told me i should try therapy out.

saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist, psychologist was alright, was nice to talk to somebody, but if i had a shot for everytime i walked into my psychiatrists office and was told (also insinuated at times by my psychologist) "i dont know how to help you anymore" i wouldve died from consuming too much alcohol

never heard those old friends apologize to me so quickly for something they asked me to do. shit times

 

[UKscotty]

The problem is that recovery doesn't always work, and its can be quite unique and tailored to each person.

I have tried pretty much everything and every drug.

 

[ctbcat]

it's just so they don't have to think about it themselves, don't have to think of solutions, etc. 'get help' is the new boarding a relative into a psychiatric hospital lolol...

people don't want to deal with suicide or depression or whatever because they see us as labour, as drainage, as burdening. i don't want to say 'these days' because i can't think of a time where this shit was better, but god people really don't have care in their hearts at all. there's only the impression because everyone has to be so performative nowadays. but it's all hollow. everyone is self-preserving, self-sufficient.


people who repeat the 'seek therapy' rhetoric can fuck off. maybe the path to hell is paved with good intentions but it always just comes off as so insincere to me and really irks me each time i hear it. i have nothing against therapy. the phrase just rings hollow

 

[LonelyStarrySky]

I have been told the same by the person I trusted the most, and believed to always stay by my side, but I got betrayed and told "this is unhealthy, seek therapy" left me feeling completely out of words and betrayed, this person had just been there while I was usefull for them, and when I shown vulnerability I get tossed aside and thrown under the bus? I can understand why you feel like that, but I also know therapy is just expensive and honestly I don't think its worth it.

 

[prxsgvgup]

What a stupid slap on the wrist remark. Blah blah blah "get help" "seek therapy" and it's always something stupid. Should I seek therapy because I'm suicidal? I mean I have and it not only didn't work but also left me feeling betrayed. Still, whenever anyone says these things it's never from a point of concern, it's always fucking judgement.

I wish the world would stop promoting therapy as a fix for the issues they themselves create in their minds. Some people genuinely want to get better but can't yet some dumbass with a different opinion has to convince you that your difference ls are an issue.

Oh btw hi I'm @Abyssal and I'm back because telling myself to focus on recovery is the same shit I've always done and it hasn't worked. Life is a fucking joke and death will be my only salvation. Blah blah insert fc quote here

I'm so tired of it. I was told I should go get a psychiatrist to get my diagnosis straight and some proper medication. But there aren't any here. I'm lucky I have a psychologist, but there just aren't any psychiatrists that are taking patients. Like, I'm even lucky and live in a country where money isn't an issue when it comes to getting help because of universal health care that covers everything. But the fact it covers everything still doesn't change the fact there's nothing it can cover if there aren't any doctors. And then being sent away, being told to come back after I found a psychiatrist? How much longer do you expect me to go through this hell? I can't take another week.

 

[prxsgvgup]

went to therapy on numerous occasions since childhood, one time when i had stopped and was in a really bad state for reasons that weren't even in my control (bad school / home life environment) old friends at the time told me i should try therapy out.

saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist, psychologist was alright, was nice to talk to somebody, but if i had a shot for everytime i walked into my psychiatrists office and was told (also insinuated at times by my psychologist) "i dont know how to help you anymore" i wouldve died from consuming too much alcohol

never heard those old friends apologize to me so quickly for something they asked me to do. shit times

I've met quite a few new doctors and psychologists recently (who all sent me away again... But not the point here) and ALL of them either responded with "you don't have a problem; you're being overdramatic" in one case, or with "I'm sorry, but I really don't know how to respond to that. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I don't think there's anything I can do." And then they sent me away again. Without a plan.

I also moved out of my family home at like 15 because of severe abuse and moved into a group home and I thought I was in a safe environment now. I told one of the caretakers here that I'm suicidal. And no shit, his response was "You can't be suicidal. A person can only be suicidal if one is in a situation one cannot escape from. And you are no longer in the situation with your mother. Therefore you cannot be suicidal." Like what the fuck?

 

[wastingpotential]

T

I've met quite a few new doctors and psychologists recently (who all sent me away again... But not the point here) and ALL of them either responded with "you don't have a problem; you're being overdramatic" in one case, or with "I'm sorry, but I really don't know how to respond to that. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I don't think there's anything I can do." And then they sent me away again. Without a plan.

I also moved out of my family home at like 15 because of severe abuse and moved into a group home and I thought I was in a safe environment now. I told one of the caretakers here that I'm suicidal. And no shit, his response was "You can't be suicidal. A person can only be suicidal if one is in a situation one cannot escape from. And you are no longer in the situation with your mother. Therefore you cannot be suicidal." Like what the fuck?

That sounds god fucking awful. Sorry you had to endure that.

Genuinely shocks me to hear how some people manage to get licenses and be able to work in these kinds of medical fields and then act like this, truly makes me believe i could just waltz into a medical center and say "i wanna be a psychiatrist!" and they'd hand me a coat and nametag without checking any credentials i have. Urgh

 

[lita-lassi]

yall are blackpilled to an angry ass degree lol

 

[razahcareca27]

my experience with therapy was always good. when I give this kind of advice generally it's using the argument of needing a different professional. I think I had luck with the ones I had, although needed to change bc I needed a different one.

its all about personal choice and as well get a understanding about yourself on different days, cycles, weeks, moods etc. it is all subjective, yes.

 

[mainlanders_son]

Therapy outsources the emotional labor of a close community to a single profit-seeking stranger.

The mental health industry, like all industries under capitalism, exists to make money. Actually helping people is secondary.

"The pandemic of mental anguish that afflicts our time cannot be properly understood, or healed, if viewed as a private problem suffered by damaged individuals." — Mark Fisher

 

[EvisceratedJester]

"Seek therapy" has become the new "shut the fuck up". It's used by people who don't actually care about others and who just want to dismiss them and their feelings. If therapy hasn't worked for you in the past then it likely won't do much for you anytime soon. People seem to have become convinced that therapy is some magical cure-all when it isn't. Therapy and psych meds don't work on a lot of people but people just can't accept that for some reason.

 

[Abyssal]

yall are blackpilled to an angry ass degree lol

Someone outta make a glossary for this incel terminology I don't understand it

 

[bipbapbop]

I've had both good and bad experiences with therapists. Finding the right therapist can be life changing but having a bad one can literally ruin your life. Unfortunately, therapy only really works if the person is also responsive and wants to be involved in it. Thats why I quit recently even though I had an amazing therapist. I just didn't want to recover anymore and so nothing would have helped me.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Someone outta make a glossary for this incel terminology I don't understand it

might be wrong but I'm pretty sure they're refererring to being blackpilled in the "doomer"/nihilism sense rather than the definition used in the incelsphere, since the OP is angry with the state of psychotherapy and finds that the recommendation of it is futile for them.

It really sucks when you just want a listening ear to vent to, and instead get reccomended something you've tried before to no avail. Subsequently, feeling judgement or confusion from another person is not healing or comforting, and I think many people don't think before telling someone else to "just go do more therapy" because they assume that people can't have bad experiences with the field or a lack of results in terms of recovery. They think they're helping, but it can be counterintuitive when you've heard it a million times and want to hear literally anything else but therapy pushing.

There isn't much I can do except commiserate with you, unfortunately we're living in an era where many issues are poorly studied and the same gamut of talking therapies is thrown at EVERYTHING deemed mental no matter what it is, regardless if that modality has actually been studied in a clinical trial or not.

I hate that there is a serious lack of empathy towards people who have had negative or unsuccessful experiences with psychotherapy and the average person who hasn't spent time in the mental health system doesn't really know what it entails.

A layperson hears the term psychotherapy and automatically assume it's a healing and therapeutic process that could never go wrong, or fail to yield results. Not to discourage anyone who has never tried it before, because when you have nothing to lose I think trying any possible treatment available that's within your level of tolerance is worth a shot, these are simply my own thoughts and feelings after two decades of interacting with the mental health industry.

The discipline of psychology is heavily resistant to criticism, despite a critical eye being the only mechanism by which change can be enacted. How can failings ever be corrected if we refuse to acknowledge them? Therapy is trying to move towards becoming a more evidence based field, which should be the goal of anything advertising itself as a medical treatment, yet this also means options are very limited and people with complex problems often get thrown one size fits all solutions. This is the fundamental flaw of therapy imo.

My first time visiting a therapist was almost two decades ago, when I was in primary school. Since then, I have been to over half a dozen therapists, and even those who were kind and didn't inflict harm did not help me. Many people will say, oh you just need to shop around, there are bad apples everywhere- not realising that the shortcomings lie with the techniques the therapist is employing. What is helpful for one person may not be beneficial for another, and vice versa.

Being suicidal is an insanely complex phenomenon that we don't really understand yet, from a scientific POV. And that scares people. So they would much rather believe you didn't try hard in therapy or whatever than acknowledge that these feelings are complicated and arise from a variety of factors. There is an absurd paradox wherein a person is always blamed for the failure of treatment if their issue is deemed mental, rather than looking inward and realising there is a growing prevalence of complicated psychiatric issues that are not responding to treatment, and that we need new solutions rather than throwing the same shit at everyone and hoping it sticks.

Not being helped by loads of talk therapies hurt not only due to the lost hope of failing yet another treatment, but because people treat you like utter shit when it doesn't and keep insisting you go back, even if it is costing you financially (you'd be surprised that even in countries like the UK loads of people are forced to pay for private therapy) and in my case have even been threatened with sectioning and forced drugging because my partner's relatives just refuse to believe therapy doesn't work for me and think I am being resistant on purpose. This shit is traumatic. If a person had high blood pressure and didn't respond to beta blockers we wouldn't treat them the way we do people who don't benefit from therapy.

 

[luneylonegirl]

"Why is mental health so stigmatized?? There's nothing wrong with getting help, don't suffer in silence! You're not alone!"

"lol you're having a problem that proper community would have supported you through just a few decades ago? Seek therapy lol get help bro nobody gives a fuck about your problems"

Lol yeah, and it's also nothing wrong if someone doesn't want to suffer anymore. Not alone is bullshit

 

[snakefeet]

I've been a proponent of therapy, but it's definitely not the catch-all that people act like it is. It works for some and not others, people are vastly different. Plus there's so many factors in each individual experience.

Also, the fact that "go to therapy" has been used as an insult doesn't help the cause that there's an immediate judgement around it. I personally think it's worth trying at a bare minimum to see if it helps for most but I don't think people often have the capacity to see the nuance.

Just throwing the "seek therapy" comes off as dismissive and disinterested in the same way that people will post a phone number and think it'll do anything.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

yall are blackpilled to an angry ass degree lol

We have reason to be.

Therapy has been awful to me. I was shoved into it at a young age with no input from me and that only led to horrific institutional abuse with zero benefit.

They are horrible people to talk about suicidality with even if they could do something about your issuss. They are forced to prioritize themselves when the topic comes up. Most of them can't relate, only know about it in a cerebral way (if that). The therapist who initiated my hospitalization didn't care one iota about how horrific it had been for me. My other therapist just shoved a suicide assessment in my face when I simply mentioned that I felt like I was drowning (no explicit mention of suicide whatsover). Later he admitted that suicidal people freaked him the fuck out.

It was really cemented for me what a joke therapy is when I answered a crisis hotline and people told me that a conversation with me was more helpful than counselors they had been seeing for months!

It really sucks when you try to open up about your problems and are told to just go see a therapist, even though they have a proven track record when it comes to dealing with your issues.

might be wrong but I'm pretty sure they're refererring to being blackpilled in the "doomer"/nihilism sense rather than the definition used in the incelsphere, since the OP is angry with the state of psychotherapy and finds that the recommendation of it is futile for them.

It's funny because I doubt there is a therapist out there who can match you in the categories of eloquence, analytical abilities, and empathy. And if there is that isn't like looking for a needle in a haystack. It's like looking for a stalk of hay in a needlestack.

 

[thenamingofcats]

I believe going to therapy when you're in a vulnerable state is playing russian roulette with your life. I had a therapist refer to me as retarded (I'm autistic). And told me that my autism gave medical staff the right to do nonconsensual pelvic exams on me (which happened btw) because I don't have the ability to make good medical decisions. She said if I wasn't going to make good choices then others would have to make them for me and if I have a problem with that then it's on me. I've never been so close to catching the bus.
Most therapies today cbt/dbt are there to help people make small behavioral and thinking changes. They're not there for people with extreme trauma. Most therapists are also from privileged backgrounds and are largely out of touch. I do believe in analysis but there are bad eggs there too and analysis isn't really available anymore since most consider it to be pseudoscience.

 

[Skynights]

What a stupid slap on the wrist remark. Blah blah blah "get help" "seek therapy" and it's always something stupid. Should I seek therapy because I'm suicidal? I mean I have and it not only didn't work but also left me feeling betrayed. Still, whenever anyone says these things it's never from a point of concern, it's always fucking judgement.

I wish the world would stop promoting therapy as a fix for the issues they themselves create in their minds. Some people genuinely want to get better but can't yet some dumbass with a different opinion has to convince you that your difference ls are an issue.

Oh btw hi I'm @Abyssal and I'm back because telling myself to focus on recovery is the same shit I've always done and it hasn't worked. Life is a fucking joke and death will be my only salvation. Blah blah insert fc quote here

I could say the same about my mom when I talk to her about giving up on life. She calls me manipulative and all that.

 

[Linda]

Therapy helps some people in some situations. It doesn't help everyone. It's not appropriate for all situations. I have suggested to some users of this site that they seek therapy. But that's only after I have considered their situation, and have concluded there's a reasonable chance that therapy might help them.

 

[WoNkEy_DoNkEy]

@Abyssal meet someone with a similar username @Abysicle
I think you had the name they wanted lol.
I assume you're not the same person as they mention you in their title?

 

[Abyssal]

@Abyssal meet someone with a similar username @Abysicle
I think you had the name they wanted lol.
I assume you're not the same person as they mention you in their title?

Same person actually! Couldn't get my account back so a made a new one, had a good interaction with my buddy and mod @Bed (love you bed thanks for the hard work!!) and got my account back. @Abysicle has been Disabled as a result.

Rest in peace Abysicle, it was kinda a cute name ngl

 

[marsupial]

I hate this so much - lucky, well off people telling lonely, broken people to pay for someone else to listen to their thoughts/a fake relationship, and somehow that's NOT supposed to make them feel worse?