Venting Being on this website after my girlfriend was on it before killing herself.

[Whitegirlwasted]

To be competely honest, I really wasn't a big fan of fourms or anything to do with the internet before this. My girlfriend was though, and I recently found out how active she was on this site. I got my other friend to help me find her account and holy shit, her posts are making me bawl my eyes out. (Her account was rottenflesh.) Seeing her talk about me (only once or twice, but still hurt.) really made my heart hurt. I was on call with her during her (successful) attempt, I heard her gagging and everything. It fucked me up for weeks. I've been trying to find ways to cope and remember her, because there isnt a way I can vist her grave anytime soon. (It was long distance, I'm American, she was Brazilian.) I wouldn't say this helped, but it also kind of did. Knowing that shes finally at peace and not hurting anymore is the thing thats helping me cope. But I just wish I could hear her voice again. I've been clinging onto old voice messages and videos since April. I just needed to get this off my chest. Might not be as active after this post, even though I still am planning myself. (If you want to contact me my telegram is whitegirlwastedd)

 

[whiteboyswithars]

Love you Rob, I hope she's resting easy. You too, find your peace (if you even can) miss her sm

 

[Nikitatos]

Her pain is done. Take comfort in that.

 

[Whitegirlwasted]

Her pain is done. Take comfort in that.

That is what has been helping me a lot. Knowing that her suffering is over and that she is happy makes me feel at peace during the hard days.

 

[Worndown]

She had to be suffering greatly. One can only hold on for so long.
I am sorry fir your pain and hope peace can find you in whatever way is best.

 

[Nikitatos]

You'll probably see her again at some point. Everyone dies eventually. I wonder if she had any social media accounts you didn't know about where you could hear her voice or find some pictures.

 

[Traveller12724]

I am so sorry for your pain, I truly am, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get to a place where you were comfortable with her ctbing ? I can imagine how heavy those conversations leading up to it must have been, you are very strong, I am glad your girlfriend found the relief she was seeking, I hope for the same for all of us seekers.

 

[Whitegirlwasted]

I am so sorry for your pain, I truly am, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get to a place where you were comfortable with her ctbing ? I can imagine how heavy those conversations leading up to it must have been, you are very strong, I am glad your girlfriend found the relief she was seeking, I hope for the same for all of us seekers.

It took a while. Of course I didnt understand at first, because I was losing the love of my life. (Sounds a bit dramatic for long distance, but we had a very deep bond, very similar childhoods and lifes.) On April 19th she had called me after I finished eating dinner with my mother and broke the news to me. It was very shocking and I will admit I did try to talk her out of it at first, out of pure panic. But after realizing that theres nothing I can really do, I just told her that I'm glad shes fianlly going to be at peace. The call lasted at least 3 hours, from 6:24pm - 10:21pm (EST.). For atleast 3 weeks after her CTBing I was totally at rockbottom, but knowing shes at actual peace is what has gotten me to where I'm genuinely happy again.

She had to be suffering greatly. One can only hold on for so long.
I am sorry fir your pain and hope peace can find you in whatever way is best.

True, I know that she was suffering for a while. And thank you, peace will come soon for me.

 

[zombiegirl]

thats so traumatic, im so sorry