Being gangstalked will probably be the main cause of my suicide.

[tinystomps]

Even if literally everything else got better, being gangstalked is so tormenting and anxiety-inducing that it's killing me. Having no privacy and having the entire community (or people around the world) knowing every detail about my private life, the inability to have anonymous accounts to vent privately or gain support privately without these people knowing which accounts are mine immediately, being globally smeared to all of Hollywood and therapists around the world, is so unrelenting and stressful it's pushing me closer to the edge every day. Even if the harassment stopped, even if the smearing stopped, even if the back-and-forth and rumors stopped, I just had the idea of true love ripped from me brutally because everyone who dates me is part of this and is a gangstalker. They don't like that term because it's associated with the schizos, but I'm so tired of people who have remote access to my devices befriending me or dating me. Everywhere I go, they send people in to befriend me or date me. My own neighbors are part of it. I'm tired of everyone I know everywhere knowing everything about me and my private life like I'm in the goddamn Truman Show. Humans literally weren't built for this shit. When we first evolved in modern humans as we know it, there was no technology, nevertheless the ability to be watched and monitored 24/7 around the entire world by thousands of people every day, especially people in your own community who participate in mobbing and bullying you daily. I've been suicidal since age 13 so I've been running on 11 years straight of fighting the urge to jump off the nearest bridge every week. When I was 13 I just had this bad gut feeling, idk what it was, something in me said I better take myself out now because the rest of my life will be worse, and I was right. I am trying to turn it around. Medication helps A LOT. I mean, A LOT. It's like night and day. Off my meds I feel suicidal, on my meds I can find enjoyment in things even though the side effects are so brutal my body feels like a prison. But it doesn't change the fact that this won't stop.

I just feel like every new person I try to date or fall in love with will be part of this and eventually I'll find out it was all a lie and then I'll feel devastated and then it'll turn out they never loved me and I was a pathetic joke to them and they hated me the whole time and then the whole cycle will start over again, over and over until eventually I learn my lesson that I'll never have an actual, genuine, pure, true love or relationship, just die. I'll just die, there's no fucking point. I'm so sick of this shit.

I don't plan on going through with it but I'm going to buy all the supplies for my suicide methods again and remake my go-bag so that it's ready just in case I ever decide I'm done with this shitshow one day.

 

[sad4dayz]

You appear to be experiencing the affects of psychosis. I had that before and while the gangstalking seems real, it's a product of our own minds.

I'm not going to try and convince you not to CTB, as I want to as well. But, nobody is after you. I promise . I hope this is helpful.
Been there before. It's awful and scary.
I hope you find some peace.

 

[Ninja_Master]

Just to let you know you are not alone in this, i'm also being gangstalked but everyone is just saying it's paranoia or schizophrenia. It sucks to live like this.

 

[Freimann]

Terrible day to have psychosis.

 

[oddetoad]

You appear to be experiencing the affects of psychosis. I had that before and while the gangstalking seems real, it's a product of our own minds.

I'm not going to try and convince you not to CTB, as I want to as well. But, nobody is after you. I promise . I hope this is helpful.
Been there before. It's awful and scary.
I hope you find some peace.

It's not psychosis

We are being recorded 24/7

Don't let anyone call you crazy you are sane

 

[Mirrory Me]

It's really a spiritual awakening, the universe is trying to communicate with you. I have experienced this same stage before.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Posts like this are difficult to deal with. I don't want to invalidate your experience but it is more than likely you are in psychosis and imaging people spying on you. Unfortunately, it can very difficult or even impossible to accept that. My uncle is like this and it is a very painful existence I am sorry it is happening to you.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Pareidolia

 

[tinystomps]

You appear to be experiencing the affects of psychosis. I had that before and while the gangstalking seems real, it's a product of our own minds.

I'm not going to try and convince you not to CTB, as I want to as well. But, nobody is after you. I promise . I hope this is helpful.
Been there before. It's awful and scary.
I hope you find some peace.

Maybe it's not as extensive as I think, but I know I am being mass monitored.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry for your difficult situation.

You may have built up some resistance to your medication. Keep taking it as per prescription and try getting in touch for a medication review and tell them it's urgent. Hopefully you have an understanding friend who can reassure you in the meantime and make you feel better. I promise that it's part of the illness/trauma and medication can make it go away.

We have this illness in the family, along with paranoia. One of the people in my flat has it, they were having trouble the other night. It goes away with meds.

 

[thewalkingdread]

being gangstalked is so tormenting and anxiety-inducing that it's killing me. Having no privacy and having the entire community (or people around the world) knowing every detail about my private life, the inability to have anonymous accounts to vent privately or gain support privately without these people knowing which accounts are mine immediately, being globally smeared to all of Hollywood and therapists around the world, is so unrelenting and stressful it's pushing me closer to the edge every day. Even if the harassment stopped, even if the smearing stopped, even if the back-and-forth and rumors stopped, I just had the idea of true love ripped from me brutally because everyone who dates me is part of this and is a gangstalker.

Maybe it's not as extensive as I think, but I know I am being mass monitored.

Well... It's clear to me that you are suffering from undue exposition to fame and public opinion. Being famous is really a most stressful heavy burden to carry around... and you can't even escape from it, not even for a minute.

Under those circumstances, life can really become an intolerable prison, where one's heart and lungs are literally crushed by the massive and oppressive pressures imposed by the all-seeing eye of the public opinion.

Your story instantly reminded me of Michael Jackson. (That beautiful young, happy, vibrant and talented black kid that was a household name in the 70's...).

He had the great pleasure and, at the same time, the great misfortune of becoming one of the most cherished and most despised celebrity in the whole wide world.

And, in the end, he was ruined/victimized and completely disfigured from what he originally was... Ironically by the very same fame brought upon him by his own amazing talent and success.

His story reminds us of those clichés stories you read on books or watch in movies, where one makes a pact with the Devil in order to be famous and rich... But, in the end, the Devil sucks the soul out of him, by completely squeezing it out of a, now, soulless, brittle body.

Anyways... Michael Jackson did one smart move after he was found innocent in the second child abuse case he faced. He tried to move away from it all. He went to live in a muslim country and he even started to wear the Jihab... I think he did all this because he was trying so hard to escape the public's eye.

But in his case, it didn't work as he expected because he was in fact insanely famous and because he was, afterall, "addicted", from a very young age, in being the center of attentions... And he also enjoyed the lavish lifestyle that came with it.

I don't know your situation... But perhaps you could try going of the grid?! Maybe buy a ranch somewhere, grow a plantation and become like a farmer or something...!? It's a possible course of action for you to consider before CTBing...

 

[IWishToDie]

Nobody is gangstalking you unless you're a supreme drug dealer or on the most wanted list, a true interview-having celebrity or a dirty politician. You must ask yourself, what is so special about YOU that some secret group would spend time and resources to keep track? You're not schizophrenic but you guys are narcissists who feel as if you've done something wrong deserving of being targeted. I don't mean narcissist as an insult, but by definition. You need personal growth and introspection. I'm not suggesting you guys don't feel the way you do, it must be very scary. I've been there before! The reason my neighbours were keeping tabs on me and yelling things at my window was because I had loud music all the time and would yell things out the window myself. I was convinced that they were the ones with the problem, though it was actually me. I moved to a less dense neighbourhood, into a quiet building with a tall roof. I no longer have those feelings, they were a symptom of a cramped living situation and a physical injury, sleep deprivation etc. Get well soon guys.