Discussion Being extremely happy before ctb as a sign for suicide

[happy2die]

Has anyone actually felt this?? I've seen some videos where people explain "signs" of suicide and one of them is feeling happy after a prolonged period of depression. Personally, I was just extremely tired or very anxious right before. I don't remember feeling happy at all. Maybe more relaxed? but idk if that counts as happiness. I would like to know your guys' thoughts on this

 

[LastNite]

Relaxed would be a good description of how it felt. Not really happy, just relieved.

 

[somethingisntreal]

I will be (hopefully) exiting in a couple of days from now and I think I'm definitely more relaxed than usual. I'm spending more time with nature, taking walks and contemplating. I've been sleeping 10h+ quit going to college, playing video games and eating my favourite foods :) I'm still not particularly happy - it's just very comforting to know that this suffering will be over soon.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yes. I only used to get happy at the thought of ctb during my last round of suicidality. it literally brought a smile to my face. I can remember times I was thwarted , and broke out in tears. it happens.

 

[happy2die]

I will be (hopefully) exiting in a couple of days from now and I think I'm definitely more relaxed than usual. I'm spending more time with nature, taking walks and contemplating. I've been sleeping 10h+ quit going to college, playing video games and eating my favourite foods :) I'm still not particularly happy - it's just very comforting to know that this suffering will be over soon.

its nice to know that I'm not the only the one who quit going to college I agree it's very relaxing but also very tiring preparing

Yes. I only used to get happy at the thought of ctb during my last round of suicidality. it literally brought a smile to my face. I can remember times I was thwarted , and broke out in tears. it happens.

interesting. It felt more like a burden to do anything but I think it was just adhd taking over lol

 

[Pale_Rider]

its nice to know that I'm not the only the one who quit going to college I agree it's very relaxing but also very tiring preparing

interesting. It felt more like a burden to do anything but I think it was just adhd taking over lol

I also quit after a few semesters .

 

[peewee]

i think more relieved. i couldnt be happy really now, ctb makes me sad because i never wanted this, but it at least releives me to know my suffering will soon have a full stop

 

[Andarna]

I felt relief when I thought I'd have the opportunity to ctb in the near future. It made me more open and more willing to spend time with my loved ones. I had more energy for various activities, and I even returned to old hobbies. However, I don't know if I would have been as relaxed right before my death. Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to find out and now I'll have to postpone my plans for a while, which sent my mood spiraling downward again.

 

[happy2die]

i think more relieved. i couldnt be happy really now, ctb makes me sad because i never wanted this, but it at least releives me to know my suffering will soon have a full stop

i agree. At times I feel pissed off too

 

[Pale_Rider]

i think more relieved. i couldnt be happy really now, ctb makes me sad because i never wanted this, but it at least releives me to know my suffering will soon have a full stop

I have DID. so I felt emotions like that also. not all my alters wanted to go. in fact one, or more worked to sabotage our efforts.

 

[Unknown21]

Not really, I've been there for almost 3 years ( my experience tho )

 

[Terrible_Life]

Has anyone actually felt this?? I've seen some videos where people explain "signs" of suicide and one of them is feeling happy after a prolonged period of depression. Personally, I was just extremely tired or very anxious right before. I don't remember feeling happy at all. Maybe more relaxed? but idk if that counts as happiness. I would like to know your guys' thoughts on this

I start to believe that many informations from suicide researchers are wrong.
Yes I heard many times that the person who had for example major depression all of a sudden before his suicide became very happy because he know it'll soon end but I really waited and kinda hoped that happiness and relaxed feeling would also come to me but it never did. I still feel find it strange that I'll just disappear forever. I don't find it comfortable to know that I know nothing about what will happen after i'm dead and of course with my method (hanging) i am afraid of those few seconds feeling my whole body weight on my neck but this has nothing to do with i wouldn't be ready, I am absolutely ready to die but no happiness in my last chapter unfortunately…..

 

[happy2die]

I start to believe that many informations from suicide researchers are wrong.
Yes I heard many times that the person who had for example major depression all of a sudden before his suicide became very happy because he know it'll soon end but I really waited and kinda hoped that happiness and relaxed feeling would also come to me but it never did. I still feel find it strange that I'll just disappear forever. I don't find it comfortable to know that I know nothing about what will happen after i'm dead and of course with my method (hanging) i am afraid of those few seconds feeling my whole body weight on my neck but this has nothing to do with i wouldn't be ready, I am absolutely ready to die but no happiness in my last chapter unfortunately…..

i agree my CTB method is also hanging and I have had the same fears. I also expected the happiness the first time I attempted and was met with disappointment.

to help with the 20s of consciousness I was thinking about leaving a timer up so that I could see the countdown but it definitely will not do much to help with the SI before :/

 

[antiqueantipodean]

Definitely more of a relaxed thing… BUT for people around you they either A) saw you at your worst and extremely distressed and for you to have the death epiphany you relax and they misconstrue that as happiness or B) if they weren't privy to seeing how bad you were especially if you were actively hiding it when you pass the epiphany you're no longer acting and human relationships unconsciously understand genuine feelings deeper than lies when when you don't know of the lie consciously so they just see you as real again and cause your not actually "down" anymore they again misconstrue happiness

 

[broken serenity]

Back when I was a teen, I felt a rush the day of, and relief. I just remember skating in the hours prior to sunset.

This time I'm just so done. Relieved, but I don't know if I'll have the same positive attitude about it when the day comes. Too many thoughts about failures will probably force me to be really detached about it all, focused on the details that matter.

 

[AstralMadness]

First times I attempted I felt happy like that, it didn't work though so I don't think I'll feel like that next time, maybe just at peace

 

[Jisatsu]

It's called the "Surge" it happens when someone who is planning to commit suicide soon uses a last amount if positive energy around loved ones as a way to comfort them and also let them get suspicious. I've had it happen to me by people who ctb and I've done it myself...

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i can visualize myself being happy as i'm killing myself with my method. happy because i'm finally doing the only thing that can solve my problems and escape this hell and this horrible situation, what i needed to do for a long time, what i should've done a long time ago when i first acquired the means for a reliable way to escape. i'm finally doing the only rational thing i can do.

also on the whole day i'm doing it because of the above and knowing that i will finally be out of this hell.

also when i finally have all the excuses and setup as good as i can get it ready to go because i know i will soon be safe from unbearable pain and extreme torture in the state of Non-existence forever

 

[TAW122]

While I've heard in many CTB prevention PSAs and various annoying rhetoric (especially during CTB prevention day, week, month, namely in the month of September), it is infuriating how insidious and disingenuous that many CTB preventionists weaponize that against us. They aren't doing so in a way that is benevolent, but paternalistic under the guise of help. Anyway, to answer the question, yes it could be a sign for CTB and I would be vary of it raising suspicions or red flags to the people close to them.

 

[Ligottian]

In the mid 60's, my brother-in-law's mother had an apparently uneventful lunch date with some of her friends. She then shot herself dead after returning home. He would have been about six, and found her body after getting off from school.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I haven't felt it yet. I just feel a gradual sinking. Less and less mental activity, more and more dread of the future. I want to hang tonight but I probably don't have the guts.