Being defined by things outside of my control.(my experience growing up orthodox jewish)

[Lou_Charthethird]

i cant fit in to the religious community i grew up in because they were super fucked up and i chose not to be as disgusting as them, but i also cant fit into the outside world due to my background in said religious community. A lot of People in the world are just super antisemtic sadly which sucks to say because thats what i was told growing up as well. Ive been verbally accosted for being jewish, told to "slit my throat and jump off a bridge", ive had to endure all the shit in the media about how awful jewish people are(kanye for example) and overall it just makes me feel sick for being from where im from. People also think that zionist = jewish which just titles me as a piece of shit against my will. Even the people from where i come from think that being jewish expressly means you are a zionist, and ive been bombarded with zionist, anti lgbtq, and ultra right wing propaganda ever since i was born.They are super hateful and bigoted and sheltered me from the outside world so i cant even fit in if i tried. I have no friends and no experience with normal people. Im forced to live with scum who believe bigotry and racism is justified since we are a superior race, and i cant leave if i tried bec the outside world hates me as well. Im stuck with no choice but to die. I never chose to be this way.

Its so satisfying to say that we arent bound by things out of our control, but the truth is that life is a game of luck.

I tried to keep this brief, but its a lot worse than i made it out to be, i just painted with broad strokes.

 

[MrsT-800]

Hiya, good evening. I'm sorry about this... I hear you. I can't offer much than that, since I am Catholic; but I do hear you. It must feel particularly crushing to be the receiver of such harshness, just for existing and believing, mostly within your own group. How sad it is indeed that we cannot simply let others be so long as they are not doing anything wrong.

If it is any consolation, I, myself, and most Catholics, as far as I know – personally, I don't mess with online – greatly admire Jewish people. You were the chosen people, in our minds; and Jesus himself, who we see as God, was Jewish. It's like you're in on all the stuff I had to grow up learning haha. It is a religion rich with tradition and history and culture – and also suffering, sadly; but, I hope that will be consolation also. The Jewish people have endured so much, and their strength is admirable. I wonder about martyrs a lot. It almost seems like to exist, Jewish, is an act of saying, "I don't care what you think, I will be me" – in which case, and in any, please keep living, you are doing well

 

[Lou_Charthethird]

Hiya, good evening. I'm sorry about this... I hear you. I can't offer much than that, since I am Catholic; but I do hear you. It must feel particularly crushing to be the receiver of such harshness, just for existing and believing, mostly within your own group. How sad it is indeed that we cannot simply let others be so long as they are not doing anything wrong.

If it is any consolation, I, myself, and most Catholics, as far as I know – personally, I don't mess with online – greatly admire Jewish people. You were the chosen people, in our minds; and Jesus himself, who we see as God, was Jewish. It's like you're in on all the stuff I had to grow up learning haha. It is a religion rich with tradition and history and culture – and also suffering, sadly; but, I hope that will be consolation also. The Jewish people have endured so much, and their strength is admirable. I wonder about martyrs a lot. It almost seems like to exist, Jewish, is an act of saying, "I don't care what you think, I will be me" – in which case, and in any, please keep living, you are doing well

I dont want to be admired. I dont want to be different because im jewish i just want to be normal. Sorry