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BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
I fucking hate anyone like me. I know everyone hates people like me. Everyone everywhere always hates everyone like me. I've asked around LGT-spaces and they always want me gone. And in any regular "straight" space, people say the exact same things. I fucking belong nowhere and am just a worthless blemish on LGT-peoples existence. They vent their rightful and honest frustrations with me and people all buy into having to defend us subhuman scum and therefore make their lives even worse. People all buy into thinking we're somehow worthy of existing, yet deep down I know they want me gone. I hear them talk about how greedy, how two-faced, how manipulative, how selfish, how sex-obsessed, how undecisive we are, yet turn around and tell me to keep going at the next second. It's all because they don't feel allowed to criticize our existence, yet desperately want to. I know the truth and how it makes me a disgusting person. I wish I could take a knife and cut out enough of my brain, until I can be normal. I wish I could erase all of these thoughts forever. From anyone. A world without us would be such a better world for everyone. I just want my vile, disgusting disorder to ruin the existence of everyone else ever again. Because all of the things they say about me is always true. It's always true. Even if it wasn't, does it matter? If every single last person tells me to take a knife and cut my eyeballs out, then refusing to do it is selfish. If everyone wants me to do something and I refuse, I am selfish for putting myself before all of humanity. So if all of humanity hates me, I should kill myself and I stop complaining. Being alive is selfish. I don't face any problems or any adversities like LGT-people do in their lives whatsoever. Because I am this way, I am far more privileged than anyone in society and face no repercussions for my behavior. I don't deserve to think I'm allowed to have depression. I should feel like the scum of earth, but should never be allowed to acknowledge it in my life. I am a disgusting subhuman, a complete parasite, a disgrace upon society. All I deserve is torment and death. My disease should be wiped off the earth. I only want to die anymore. I have nothing. I have resolved to never get into a relationship. If I get into any relationship without telling people of my disgusting shit, I am no better than a rapist. And if I do tell them, they would surely want me gone and dead. I am simply a disgusting subhuman and deserve nothing in life. I should be punished for my transgression on society. I must die. I must die. I must die.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,201
I wish I was bi. I would have had twice as many options. (I'm 100% into men. Well, maybe only 99%, but for practical purposes that's the same.)

My husband's niece is bi. After a failed marriage to a man, she is now happily married to a woman.

You are extremely fortunate. You have twice as many potential partners as the rest of us. (And that's true whether you are looking for a partner for life or just someone for a night.) It can be hard enough finding the right partner (for either situation), but you have a huge advantage.

I know that being bi may mean that both heterosexuals and the LGBT crowd may somtimes view you with suspicion, but that will pass as they get to know you. When I was young, gay men especially were quite hostile to men who claimed to be bi (not so much to bi women), but that was because a lot of gay men pretended to be bi as a way of hiding the fact that they were gay, and it annoyed those who were out and taking all the heat. But times have changed, and that no longer applies.

My advice would be to make the most of the gift you have and stop focusing on the (comparatively small) disadvantages that may sometimes accompany it. Good luck.
 
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BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
I'm sorry you feel that way, I see you battling with your sexuality and I wish I could convince you that how you think people percieve you is not the reality 🫂 It may be true for some bigots (including the LGBT community sadly) and this is what I think you latch on, but bigots and exclusionists are the real villains and they don't deserve to be listened to. Sadly, they do have the power to harm and cause deep scars and I'm sorry they hurt you 🌹 But the problem is not you, it's them. I face the same exclusion from both sides but I don't think it's their voices that should win.

I think a lot more people are bisexuals that they care to admit, I think everyone is at least 1% gay 😌

I really do hope you will overcome this, I thought I was bisexual for more than a decade and I have nothing but love for you all. If you would like to talk with someone, I'm just a message away.
"The true villains are the people, who notice how much of a scum you are." THE PROBLEM IS ME! WHEN ITS ME WHO IS ALWAYS IN A PROBLEM MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM AND NOT EVERY SINGLE PERSON RANDOMLY DECIDING TO START SOMETHING! I hope I don't fucking overcome this. What a fucking joke. All you people are the exact same as everywhere else. You always claim that pro-lifers trying to talk you out of suicide is something vile, but you do the fucking same. What a fucking joke. To the end you force me to put on this fucking mask and make myself out to be something better than I am.
"I thought I was bisexual for more than a decade." MAYBE YOU GET THE HINT AND REALIZE THAT THE "ITS JUST A PHASE" STEREOTYPE MIGHT BE TRUE THEN? NO? APPARENTLY YOU CANT PUT 2 AND 2 TOGETHER?
I wish I was bi. I would have had twice as many options. (I'm 100% into men. Well, maybe only 99%, but for practical purposes that's the same.)

My husband's niece is bi. After a failed marriage to a man, she is now happily married to a woman.

You are extremely fortunate. You have twice as many potential partners as the rest of us. (And that's true whether you are looking for a partner for life or just someone for a night.) It can be hard enough finding the right partner (for either situation), but you have a huge advantage.

I know that being bi may mean that both heterosexuals and the LGBT crowd may somtimes view you with suspicion, but that will pass as they get to know you. When I was young, gay men especially were quite hostile to men who claimed to be bi (not so much to bi women), but that was because a lot of gay men pretended to be bi as a way of hiding the fact that they were gay, and it annoyed those who were out and taking all the heat. But times have changed, and that no longer applies.

My advice would be to make the most of the gift you have and stop focusing on the (comparatively small) disadvantages that may sometimes accompany it. Good luck.
You don't know a single thing. It's not nice, it's not a gift. Twice as many options? I HAVE LESS BECAUSE PEOPLE ACTIVELY FUCKING HATE ME AND WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! "Times have changed?" That's news to me, because people told me the exact same thing. You know absolutely nothing and are just trying to rope me back into this vile shit. My advice would be to stop running your fucking mouth and realize what you are talking about. I AM SCUM! THATS THE END OF IT! STOP GASLIGHTING THE WORLD INTO ACCEPTING MY FUCKING DEGENERATE BULLSHIT!
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,201
"The true villains are the people, who notice how much of a scum you are." THE PROBLEM IS ME! WHEN ITS ME WHO IS ALWAYS IN A PROBLEM MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM AND NOT EVERY SINGLE PERSON RANDOMLY DECIDING TO START SOMETHING! I hope I don't fucking overcome this. What a fucking joke. All you people are the exact same as everywhere else. You always claim that pro-lifers trying to talk you out of suicide is something vile, but you do the fucking same. What a fucking joke. To the end you force me to put on this fucking mask and make myself out to be something better than I am.
"I thought I was bisexual for more than a decade." MAYBE YOU GET THE HINT AND REALIZE THAT THE "ITS JUST A PHASE" STEREOTYPE MIGHT BE TRUE THEN? NO? APPARENTLY YOU CANT PUT 2 AND 2 TOGETHER?

You don't know a single thing. It's not nice, it's not a gift. Twice as many options? I HAVE LESS BECAUSE PEOPLE ACTIVELY FUCKING HATE ME AND WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! "Times have changed?" That's news to me, because people told me the exact same thing. You know absolutely nothing and are just trying to rope me back into this vile shit. My advice would be to stop running your fucking mouth and realize what you are talking about. I AM SCUM! THATS THE END OF IT! STOP GASLIGHTING THE WORLD INTO ACCEPTING MY FUCKING DEGENERATE BULLSHIT!
I'm sorry you feel like that. I have probably known more bisexual people than you have, and I do know what I am talking about. I don't talk nonsense. Your problem is not your situation, it is your attitude to your situation. If you respond to other people with the same lack of courtesy that you have just shown me, I'm not surprised that you encounter difficulties.

You have obviously had some bad experiences, and I'm sorry that has happened to you. But that doesn't mean you will always encounter them.

You are not scum. The fact that I am taking the trouble to respond to you, despite your rather hostile post, tells you that I, at least, do not think you are scum. I think you are a nice guy who has had some bad experiences and hasn't yet figured out a way to avoid similar experiences in the future.

It may be that you live somewhere there is a lot of hostility to anyone who is in any way different. If that is the case, you could perhaps consider moving somewhere else, if that's an option for you.

The way forward for you - if you want a way forward - is to start by loving yourself a bit more. If you are able to do that, you will be more likely to interact with other people in a way that doesn't alienate them or generate hostility towards you. You are no worse as a person than me or anyone else. (You may have more difficulties to handle than some people, but that's another matter.) That's not empty words. I mean it.

Good luck.
 
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lostinwoe

lostinwoe

forever ennui
Mar 1, 2024
61
I fucking hate anyone like me. I know everyone hates people like me. Everyone everywhere always hates everyone like me. I've asked around LGT-spaces and they always want me gone. And in any regular "straight" space, people say the exact same things. I fucking belong nowhere and am just a worthless blemish on LGT-peoples existence. They vent their rightful and honest frustrations with me and people all buy into having to defend us subhuman scum and therefore make their lives even worse. People all buy into thinking we're somehow worthy of existing, yet deep down I know they want me gone. I hear them talk about how greedy, how two-faced, how manipulative, how selfish, how sex-obsessed, how undecisive we are, yet turn around and tell me to keep going at the next second. It's all because they don't feel allowed to criticize our existence, yet desperately want to. I know the truth and how it makes me a disgusting person. I wish I could take a knife and cut out enough of my brain, until I can be normal. I wish I could erase all of these thoughts forever. From anyone. A world without us would be such a better world for everyone. I just want my vile, disgusting disorder to ruin the existence of everyone else ever again. Because all of the things they say about me is always true. It's always true. Even if it wasn't, does it matter? If every single last person tells me to take a knife and cut my eyeballs out, then refusing to do it is selfish. If everyone wants me to do something and I refuse, I am selfish for putting myself before all of humanity. So if all of humanity hates me, I should kill myself and I stop complaining. Being alive is selfish. I don't face any problems or any adversities like LGT-people do in their lives whatsoever. Because I am this way, I am far more privileged than anyone in society and face no repercussions for my behavior. I don't deserve to think I'm allowed to have depression. I should feel like the scum of earth, but should never be allowed to acknowledge it in my life. I am a disgusting subhuman, a complete parasite, a disgrace upon society. All I deserve is torment and death. My disease should be wiped off the earth. I only want to die anymore. I have nothing. I have resolved to never get into a relationship. If I get into any relationship without telling people of my disgusting shit, I am no better than a rapist. And if I do tell them, they would surely want me gone and dead. I am simply a disgusting subhuman and deserve nothing in life. I should be punished for my transgression on society. I must die. I must die. I must die.
why dont you just not tell anyone your bi? i dont get it
 
B

BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
Stop hanging with the LGBT community. I agree, in my experience most gay and lesbian folks hate both bi and trans.

The community is full of ego ridden people, I stopped going to LGBT venues a decade ago and felt better. It's a terrible community in my experience.
Glad you can can agree, that LGT-people all fucking hate me. Maybe next time you can realize that every person hating you might not be a problem with every person on the planet, but a problem with you. The reason everyone hates me is because they have every right and reason to hate me.
not to invalidate you, but it sounds like you got more of being schizo problem rather than being bi problem
I'm glad you agree I'm worthless scum. If you made the connection to the thing I just beat people over the head with, then maybe you can come to the same conclusion. Maybe the reason I'm a schizo is because my orientation is schizophrenic? HMM?
why dont you just not tell anyone your bi? i dont get it
"Why don't you just not tell people that you are worthless scum. That's surely the fucking solution." I already refuse to tell anyone. But what am I supposed to do then? I'm glad keeping it a secret forever is such a perfect solution. Next time I meet some murderer or rapist, I'll be sure to tell them that they should just not tell anyone, so that they can live in peace. As if all those remarks from everyone aren't still directed at me. As if they wouldn't hate me, if they knew.
 
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lostinwoe

lostinwoe

forever ennui
Mar 1, 2024
61
Glad you can can agree, that LGT-people all fucking hate me. Maybe next time you can realize that every person hating you might not be a problem with every person on the planet, but a problem with you. The reason everyone hates me is because they have every right and reason to hate me.

I'm glad you agree I'm worthless scum. If you made the connection to the thing I just beat people over the head with, then maybe you can come to the same conclusion. Maybe the reason I'm a schizo is because my orientation is schizophrenic? HMM?

"Why don't you just not tell people that you are worthless scum. That's surely the fucking solution." I already refuse to tell anyone. But what am I supposed to do then? I'm glad keeping it a secret forever is such a perfect solution. Next time I meet some murderer or rapist, I'll be sure to tell them that they should just not tell anyone, so that they can live in peace. As if all those remarks from everyone aren't still directed at me. As if they wouldn't hate me, if they knew.
your clearly not thinking right being bi isnt uncommon but maybe im wrong and everyone hates you

also comparing a murderer and a rapist keeping a secret to you keeping being bi a secret makes no sense being bi isnt a crime
 
B

BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
your clearly not thinking right being bi isnt uncommon but maybe im wrong and everyone hates you
LGT-people have expressed their annoyance with how common we are. It's just diet gay bullshit to them and they're right. They were too nice to let us into their community and now we are the majority, shitting up their own community. They have every right to hate me for being this way.
also comparing a murderer and a rapist keeping a secret to you keeping being bi a secret makes no sense being bi isnt a crime
Maybe it should be a crime.
 
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
491
I don't know who you have been hanging out with but it looks to me like you're hanging out with the wrong people and that has completely radicalised your view about being bi. Maybe you also live in a place where being bi is that problematic, in that case I agree with another user above about moving elsewhere.

People here have been kind to you but you have responded with such hostility... If you are like that to people around you, then no wonder people may hate you. You reap what you sow.

I do not think you are scum and being bi isn't such a horrific thing, it's a normal thing. Comparing yourself to a rapist makes no sense, you are not a rapist just because you like both genders.

I think you need to reevaluate which Internet communities you're hanging out with, and maybe irl communities as well, and find some better people. Therapy would be good as well for handling that immense self hatred you have towards yourself, if you're looking into recovery. If you're looking for people to confirm you're scum, like you seem to be wanting, I'm afraid you will be out of luck.

I hope you can feel better with time...
 
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
491
I don't talk to people anymore. I don't hang out with people. I live in Berlin, Germany, not a very problematic place. But apparently if you get told by people a dozen times over how disgusting you are, that's just you accidentally hanging out with the wrong 0.000000000000000001% of humanity a dozen times over and it can never possibly happen again. And the fact people hate you is always on them. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS FOCUS ON THIS EXACT POINT AND CANT ACCEPT REALITY THAT I HAVE ASKED NUMEROUS TIMES HAVE BEEN TOLD NUMBEROUS TIMES THAT I AM DISGUSTING NUMEROUS TIMES

You're all bootlickers. I reap hatred for me sowing the fact I am a contemptible orientation.

Shut the fuck up. "You're not bad, because y-YOU JUST ARENT STOP NOTICING THINGS". Look up how many prisoners are actually bisexual and maybe you realize the whole equivalence of bisexuals and rapists has the potential to not be far off. But excuse me, speaking such a thing is against the rules, so we're not allowed to actually think wrong things.

Stop bringing up this point. Stop bringing up therapy. It's always just this dumb assumption that I can never have a correct point and must therefore be irredeemably wrong. You all just want me to be brainwashed back into supporting this shit. Fuck you.

I hope you stop running your fucking mouth like that.
Okay, all of that you said actually makes you kind of despicable. Is this what you wanted? To get disliked by strangers wanting to help you?

If so, well done, you did it. You gain nothing from it but apparently this is what you wanted.

No one is trying to brainwash you into anything, we have our own lives, why would we want to brainwash a stranger that is severely rude to us? We gain nothing from it, we were just trying to help you but you're so radicalised that you can't fathom that some people may just want to help you hate yourself less.

I won't respond anymore as it's clear you want to live in your own delusion and suffering and you want to insult people in the process. I do take offence from your words as they were horrible and completely unnecessary.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,201
Could I remind one of the posters on this thread about the rule in this forum to "Be respectful of others and their opinions". Everyone who joins this forum has agreed to abide by that rule. Everyone here has problems of one kind of another, some people are struggling with very serious problems, and the last thing any of us want is gratuitous insults. You can disagree with what people say, you can disagree vigorously if you want, but let's keep it polite.

We are still here for you. We will try to help you. But please don't make our task any harder than it need be.
 
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mutt

mutt

Member
Dec 21, 2023
12
i have experienced delusions before. my assumption is that i still am, but obviously i can't recognize them because then they wouldn't be delusions. you are very likely experiencing a delusion, very likely with roots in one or more traumatic experiences. no you are not a deluded person. you are being attacked by a malevolent set of ideas that are destroying your mind. i will not tell you to get help.

all i hope for is that you find peace.
 
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BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
i have experienced delusions before. my assumption is that i still am, but obviously i can't recognize them because then they wouldn't be delusions. you are very likely experiencing a delusion, very likely with roots in one or more traumatic experiences. no you are not a deluded person. you are being attacked by a malevolent set of ideas that are destroying your mind. i will not tell you to get help.

all i hope for is that you find peace.
"You can't have a point, you just have uuuuuhhhhh DEMONS IN YOUR HEAD!!!1" Of course you guys look for every last cope before you acknowledge I was right with what I was saying. No, it can't be that people want me dead, it must be demonic possession, yes, that's the only thing it must be.
 
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WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Paragon
Jun 19, 2022
945
Bisexual people are told they have twice as many options, but for many, they're twice as lonely too. I'm sorry. It's not easy and you don't deserve to be invalidated.
 
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BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
Bisexual people are told they have twice as many options, but for many, they're twice as lonely too. I'm sorry. It's not easy and you don't deserve to be invalidated.
They're twice as lonely, because everyone hates us and being invalidated is something I DESERVE. Also, how can it not be easy, when I'm far more privileged than anyone else in LGBT stuff? I can literally hide forever like a coward, while people get murdered. No one ever killed someone for being bisexual before.
 
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thirdrailer

thirdrailer

Member
Oct 24, 2020
46
You're obviously in a ton of emotional pain. I feel for you. Biphobia is real. The burden of feeling hated can be unbearable. I'm trans. I'm also bi like you. Rationally, I know not everyone hates us. I also know that doesn't help when it feels otherwise, especially if it feels like your local or online communities are full of hate. What you do with all this pain is up to you. I've found community with other bi/pan people. It has really helped me. I hope you find relief from these feelings.
 
D

deadead

New Member
Mar 2, 2024
4
1*3xfBNV0-ENkNRG4ZZFs6tg@2x.jpeg
 
mutt

mutt

Member
Dec 21, 2023
12
"You can't have a point, you just have uuuuuhhhhh DEMONS IN YOUR HEAD!!!1" Of course you guys look for every last cope before you acknowledge I was right with what I was saying. No, it can't be that people want me dead, it must be demonic possession, yes, that's the only thing it must be.
1. i didn't deny the premise of your point. in fact, i acknowledged it in saying you've likely had legitimate experiences in line with what you're saying.
2. i don't believe in demons nor demonic possession. i believe the human mind is inexplicably complex.
3. i have no proof what you are referring to is a delusion. it very well may be your objective reality.

it's clear you are in distress, and i am sincerely sorry if i have been a cause of your affliction.
 
B

BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
You're obviously in a ton of emotional pain. I feel for you. Biphobia is real. The burden of feeling hated can be unbearable. I'm trans. I'm also bi like you. Rationally, I know not everyone hates us. I also know that doesn't help when it feels otherwise, especially if it feels like your local or online communities are full of hate. What you do with all this pain is up to you. I've found community with other bi/pan people. It has really helped me. I hope you find relief from these feelings.
Biphobia literally doesn't exist. What you call icky bad bad phobia is just people venting their honest problems. Also, AGAIN with this "no, you're wrong, because Y-YOU JUST ARE STOP ASKING THINGS". It always comes back to people simply saying that all of the objective reality I noticed just can't be true, because it just can't be true. "I've found a community w-" You found a community of delusional scum, that's what you should have said instead.
 
carac

carac

"and if this is the end, i am glad i met you."
May 27, 2023
908
You belong here among the outcasts and losers, the hated and lost, the failed and abused. But we welcome you.
 
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BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
You belong here among the outcasts and losers, the hated and lost, the failed and abused. But we welcome you.
Glad that someone acknowledges how much of worthless subhuman scum I am. Glad someone is honest enough to tell me I need to kill myself.
 
Proteus

Proteus

Oceanic Member
Feb 6, 2024
300
I wish I was bi.
As a bi man, it's really great of you can handle some homophobia.

OP, not everyone hates you and what you see is not a reflect of all bi people, but likely some idiots frustrated some bi they knew did something wrong and want to shit on everyone else. It's like saying sharks mainly eat men because sometimes they confuse us with seals. It's also not even your fault to be bi, you can't be bad for it if you don't choose it in first place. Your self-hate is not well grounded and you don't see it now, but it won't do any favor. You can act as a completely normal person being bi.
 
Gossamer

Gossamer

Todos estamos untados
Sep 1, 2022
32
How long have you been dealing with this? Are you willing to discuss, or is it venting?
 
B

BlessedBeTheFlame

All things are nothing to me
Feb 2, 2024
149
Not to sound rude, but why did you even create this post to begin with?
Oh, probably so I can have everyone on this perfect and wonderful site convince me that nothing I ever say is real and that everyone in the world loves me and that suicide is never the answer for anything ever. I am so happy and so proud and feel perfect and absolutely incredible about what I am. Of course. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
How long have you been dealing with this? Are you willing to discuss, or is it venting?
Oh, I am not allowed to discuss, only to accept that all my thoughts are delusions, that people just need to convince me are not real. I have never been depressed or told I should kill myself. That never happened, because people told me it never happened. And since everyone told me that my thoughts are not real and that I should stop thinking such things, I must now stop thinking such things. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
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R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,410
I am sorry for your suffering. I can't really add anything that isn't already said.

I know you made similar thread/s before and won't change your mind about this.

I think these 'discussions' only make you feel worse tho, but maybe you need that too in your life.
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
723
Stop hanging with the LGBT community. I agree, in my experience most gay and lesbian folks hate both bi and trans.

The community is full of ego ridden people, I stopped going to LGBT venues a decade ago and felt better. It's a terrible community in my experience.
agreed~ They're all just a bunch of rude degenerates in my own personal experience~ >_<
 
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