Being around people...

[casual_existence]

Does anyone else have a desire to be around people but at the same time doesn't want to be around people? It's incredibly agravating and just makes things harder for no reason.

Even when I'm around friends I don't feel good. It's like everyone's staring at me or ignoring me. It's weird asf and I can't get over it. In crowds it's even worse and unless I'm with someone I don't feel good. I can manage it by kinda not being there mentally but if someobody suddenly calls out then I kinda jump since ya know I'm not there. Which only makes things worse 'cause then I feel like a crazy person and if I didn't make people feel awkward before well now I definitely make them feel weird.

Work can be tough too. It's the main reason I can't handle customer service jobs. Can I do them? Sure but I have to go into a specific 'work' mindset to handle it which can lead to me acting rude and well I end up exacerbating the situation.

I've been kinda trying to do things on my own since I feel awful either way and it's not too bad but I still feel weird. It doesn't help that there's someone that I miss a lot and sometimes I see them or feel them. I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy!

I have my own ideas on why this is but I'm wondering if anybody else feels something similar and if you've found ways to deal with it and also if you have identified something interesting about it. I'm not looking for theoretical or philosophical takes but mainly personal experience and observation.

 

[Redacted24]

It's probably not helpful, but your feeling resonates with me. In groups (at work settings, the only time I'm around numbers of people) they'll all be on me or (more usually) won't interact even if I have something important to say and raise my hand to be noticed.
I can only really handle being with 1-2 people at a time. It's exhausting if more than that for me as an introvert.
I do have to put on my "game face"often throughout the week. Everyone that knows me is aware that by Thurs afternoon/ Fri I get grouchy and snippy.
Maybe I need more sleep during the week. I don't know.
Anyway, wish you luck!

 

[casual_existence]

It's probably not helpful, but your feeling resonates with me. In groups (at work settings, the only time I'm around numbers of people) they'll all be on me or (more usually) won't interact even if I have something important to say and raise my hand to be noticed.
I can only really handle being with 1-2 people at a time. It's exhausting if more than that for me as an introvert.
I do have to put on my "game face"often throughout the week. Everyone that knows me is aware that by Thurs afternoon/ Fri I get grouchy and snippy.
Maybe I need more sleep during the week. I don't know.
Anyway, wish you luck!

Yeah it seems to be similar. I wish I wasn't like this honestly. Makes things hard lol.

 

[Redacted24]

Sometimes I find it funny when it happens to me. I'll interject in a meeting, get acknowledged, but the group moves on. I'll then raise my hand, they'll say, yes we'll get back to you. But then the group will close the discusssion and they'll all get up to leave.
Some of my kinder colleagues even notice and ask me later what I wanted to say.

A couple of weeks ago as I was still putting my papers away, they turned off the meeting room lights as they walked out while I was still sitting there.
It's actually kind of funny.

 

[casual_existence]

Sometimes I find it funny when it happens to me. I'll interject in a meeting, get acknowledged, but the group moves on. I'll then raise my hand, they'll say, yes we'll get back to you. But then the group will close the discusssion and they'll all get up to leave.
Some of my kinder colleagues even notice and ask me later what I wanted to say.

A couple of weeks ago as I was still putting my papers away, they turned off the meeting room lights as they walked out while I was still sitting there.
It's actually kind of funny.

Wow that is crazy. You should consider a stealth sort of job lol. I don't usually get ignored but mainly because I really try to not get ignored. Most of the time I don't have anything to say but if I have something I really need to say it.
I remember watching this movie about this guy that got ignored a bunch and he used that to his advantage to kill people. If I remember which movie I'll reply here. Pretty shitty movie but the premise was kinda interesting.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I remember a time when I wanted to be with people because back then i saw the value in being able to be that guy or girl that everyone...well not really liked but didn't hate either, if that makes sense. The type of individual that could just get along with anyone anywhere. So i figured that being around people more would help me be better at understanding them, or at least train myself to adapt to them...
The thing is..most people are contradictory and baseline only want something. Whether it's 15 minutes of fame as the center of attention in a group, or the need for validation, most, if not all have an agenda.

There are times when I still want to hang out with people but nowadays it's only to re-affirm my belief that all people (including me) are a pain in the ass. After that I go back home. Usually takes 10 minutes max.

 

[Redacted24]

There was a skit from a 1970s Monty Python episode where a man claiming to be invisible went on a talk show... the show host and everyone could clearly see him. But as he started talking he became invisible.
Yes, people are exhausting. Take being around most of them in small amounts of time.
Invisibly yours.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I've always struggled being around people whether at work or just friends. I've never maintained a friendship for over a year and I was just known as the quiet guy at work who did his own thing.

It's unfortunate because I desire to be social as a lot of us do but I just can't manage it. I don't have a desire to change it either because it's safer to be alone.

 

[Kit1]

I struggle with group interaction and prefer to see one or two people at a time - and am absolutely exhausted after a couple of hours (maximum) - and would then not see anyone for weeks. My job involves interacting with lots of people and I am totally different at work- I am like a completely different person at work, but often mentally switched off when working with colleagues (but people can never tell) - sometimes dissociation/depersobalisation helps..,

Often I need to completely switch off from human beings, cars etc and would disappear into the mountains or somewhere to get away for a say or so - and have a week alone every year. I am also autistic and that might explain some of the behaviour..,

 

[Pluto]