Being allowed to die

[No_more]

It's frustrating that I can't tell anyone in the physical world about my planning to starve myself to death.
There's things I want to be done after my death, like what I want done with my ashes etc.
I wish I could talk openly about my plans without interference, but i know they would force feed me. It's not fair. I just want to be at peace.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Its not easy but maybe you can startva subject casualy, asking them about what they want then adding your prefferences as a conversation. Maybe after a movie, book or randoms news. I managed to trigger few conversations like that. Dont be obviously suicidal tho

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

That sounds like an extremely painful way to die. Do you not have a more humane method available to you? It is very screwed up that we are forced to hide and sometimes have to resort to terrible methods just to find peace.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I might be wrong, but if you're mentally sound, and have attorney over yourself, you may well be able to starve yourself without being forced to consume food.

 

[No_more]

Thanks for your replies.
AnxietyAttack44, I will try your idea. I will also leave a letter in my flat.
EmbraceOfTheVoid, I'm hoping that if I gradually starve myself, it might be easier. I'm only eating small amounts.
Ideally I would like euthanasia but I know it wouldn't be allowed.
Spotted panda, the problem is I'm not considered mentally sound as I have anxiety and depression.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I understand how you feel.. However, please do not starve yourself to death. I speak from experience when I say that starving and dehydration are some of the most painful ways to go. You will develop cramps in your arms and legs, your head will pound, you will be uncomfortably tired and listless.

It is not a good time and I'll never choose that way out ever again.. Much luck and love to you. I hope that you find a more comfortable and peaceful method. x

 

[No_more]

SuicidalSymphonies, thank you for your reply, but I can't face ctb any other way. I know there is N and SN, I've read about on here, but it seems like they're difficult to get hold of and I don't feel comfortable ordering it off the internet as I can't be sure what it is.I can't face hanging either.

Starvation feels right. I'm willing to try to go through it so I can be with my pets who have died. I want it to be like Rainbow Bridge. It's a verse I've read.
Much love and luck to you also.x

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

SuicidalSymphonies, thank you for your reply, but I can't face ctb any other way. I know there is N and SN, I've read about on here, but it seems like they're difficult to get hold of and I don't feel comfortable ordering it off the internet as I can't be sure what it is.I can't face hanging either.

Starvation feels right. I'm willing to try to go through it so I can be with my pets who have died. I want it to be like Rainbow Bridge. It's a verse I've read.

I'm sorry that you feel you have no other choice.. There are simple ways to check if your SN is authentic. I ordered mine back in October and still haven't tested it, but I assume it's the right stuff. Took about a month or more to show up and unfortunately due to covid now, it would probably take longer as even my regular mail is behind.

But I do think that it's worth the wait. Sometimes what you buy can be sketchy, but that can be the case for anything you purchase online.

I do hope this method (starving) works for you with as little pain as possible. I am just worried you'll suffer.

 

[No_more]

SuicidalSymphonies, thanks for your concern. I wish you well. Please be careful with stuff off the internet.x

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

It sucks not being allowed to speak about suicide without people being a pain in the ass. After one of my last attempts I tried to talk to my closest friend and she started with that "your soul will suffer for eternity and blah blah blah".
You're really brave to choose that method. But I agree with the other members, there are less painful and faster methods. It's your life, but I'm just saying.

 

[rhiino]

Oh dear, this is what suicide prevetion does to people like us, stuck with bad methods. You need a strong will to starve to death, do you think you really will be able to do it? Your body will scream for food and it will not be pleasant.

 

[No_more]

Rhiino and tiredofsuffering, thanks for your replies. I don't know if I will be able to do it. I hope so. Anorexics do it, so that makes me think it's possible.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

So many masochists on here choosing to torture themselves to death.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I attempted terminal dehydration the Sunday before last. After a while a feeling of euphoria appears, and in my case it lead to me abandoning the procedure because I felt perhaps life is worth living.

 

[No_more]

I'm in two minds as of what to do. Part of me doesn't want to die. I would like to get another pet. Part of the reason I wanted to ctb is because my pets died but the thought of living scares me.

Starvation makes me feel more in touch with spirit and it's a comfort to me. It gives me insights. It makes problems seem smaller because I think it's ok because I will be dead soon. It's like a coping mechanism. The thought of giving up starving makes me nervous.

 

[rhiino]

I can relate. I feel better wanting to suicide than I feel when I do not want it. It gives comfort and relief because the pain will be over soon.

 

[No_more]

I've decided to not starve myself to death. It's too difficult. I want euthanasia but instead I'm left to suffer. I'm in so much torment.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I've decided to not starve myself to death. It's too difficult. I want euthanasia but instead I'm left to suffer. I'm in so much torment.

I wish I could just die from loss of will to live on its own. This isn't a Star Wars movie, unfortunately.