NSFW Being alive is traumatizing.

[livingonlytodie]

It's like the trauma only goes away when im sleeping. Every night I go to bed praying to whatever higher power may be out there to kill me in my sleep but nothing happens. I just wish I was gone more than anything. I hate life & everything that comes with it.

 

[parasite_eve]

It's like the trauma only goes away when im sleeping. Every night I go to bed praying to whatever higher power may be out there to kill me in my sleep but nothing happens. I just wish I was gone more than anything. I hate life & everything that comes with it.

Feel you, every night last thought for last decade and first thought upon waking up has been wishing to not exist. </3

 

[derpyderpins]

It's tough, yeah. Everything, every moment, has a degree of difficulty.

I spent a long time praying for death in my sleep. I'm sorry you're going through this. I think it is understandable. I hope your pain can lessen with time.

 

[F@#$]

I'm the same way. My Existence on
is completely pointless.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate. Sleep is the only thing that I like since I'm not suffering whilst I'm sleeping. I hate it whenever I wake up though.

 

[lawlietsph]

Exactly. You just made a perfect point, I could not put into words until this moment what I was feeling every single second.
Waking up is a trauma, because I am terrified of the day.
Working is a trauma.
Going to the store to buy food is a trauma.
It all drains the soul in unspeakable ways.
Thank you for helping me understand... Yeah, this is it. The smallest tasks are like climbing mountains. And I need hours, days, weeks, months or even years to process these tiny small things. Yep, this is it.

 

[livingonlytodie]

I relate. Sleep is the only thing that I like since I'm not suffering whilst I'm sleeping. I hate it whenever I wake up though.

OMG im so happy you commented, i see you on here all the time & our usernames r so similar lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish to be gone as well, to never exist ever again is all I could hope for, I certainly understand that it's so dreadful and torturous suffering in this existence, I see so much cruelty in how I cannot have the option to simply die in a peaceful way, I just want to fall asleep permanently with this existence finally all forgotten about. But anyway I hope you find peace.

 

[livingonlytodie]

I hope we both find peace. Being alive is a never ending obstacle & I've reached my limit. I'll be homeless in a few months so I have no idea what'll become of me.