Venting being a person of color in society

[DeathSleep]

The world is a cruel and often scary place. I'm sorry for your pain. I'm sorry that I don't really have any words that will make you feel better. I think my actions are all I can do to help make a tiny change in the world to show the people around me that I care regardless of any differences we have. I guess I just wanted to post to support you in some little way.

 

[thatisitguy]

"facing racism? yeah just drop everything move to a different country!" is so insanely out of touch, not everyone has the money to just move to a different country.

Then don't complain because it's obviously not too bad.

 

[hoppybunny]

Ignore all the idiots in the reply trying to gaslight you. It's hard as fuck. In 9th grade my entire class decided to scream the n word at me because they thought it would be funny. I genuinely thought they were going to hurt me. I've been treated like an idiot cause I was black, and it's so annoying when you talk about these things and the fucking morons like some of the ones in your comments try to deny your reality. I wish people who deny racism could go through it for a year.

It's exhausting, especially when some people are keen on gaslighting you that we live in some sort of post-racist society.

Like, I'm glad you get to ignore it, but I don't. It's also a form of racism to treat minorities as if they can't adequately assess their own lived experiences, but that's a conversation for another day.

Nah fr. I literally wanted to scream reading some of these comments. "Were all one race, the human race". Christ get a brain and use it, you know what OP is saying.

it's hard for me as a black woman

Not a woman but society sees me as one and I agree it's so hard. Like constantly being called ugly. Having to always do your hair cause it's "unpresentable" naturally . Having your own family tell you to bleach your skin cause they believe it will help you fit into society more. It's so draining.

I was lucky enough to grow up in Nigeria around other black people despite colorism being a huge issue I can imagine having spent my whole life in the US as a minority. I wish I didn't have to leave home.

 

[landslide2]

I am not looking for solutions because 1) I don't care and 2) I have my own problems. However, people usually victimize people who look like them.

Then don't complain because it's obviously not too bad.

Why are you even in this thread? Just to say stupid shit and make it harder for other people who are struggling?

 

[tsykoais]

Why are you even in this thread? Just to say stupid shit and make it harder for other people who are struggling?

especially on a site like sasu of all places….

 

[awaitinglove]

I second this! Being a woman of color in the western world is so hard like I genuinely learned to hate myself at such a young age because of my ethnicity and skin tone. It definitely adds another layer to my depression and insecurity of existing in this world.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

We are far from living in a non racist world. I'm white and I spent my whole life hearing my father talk about how black people are ugly, how their hair is gross, how they smell bad.

Like someone said in a comment here, this was naturally, when he was watching football, just a slip of the tongue revealing his real feelings.

It always made me feel bad as I had black friends and felt like he was insulting them. For years I had arguments with him about it but those ideas never change. At some point I dated a boy who was mixed (don't know if this is the right word in English) and my father insulted his looks several times.

I am ashamed of my father for this. I'm glad I didn't take on the same views but this just proves OP's point. Racism is alive and well and this is subtle racism, just what you're fed while you're growing up. The kind of racist people that don't say these things loudly but quietly propagate them through generations.

I know it's no comfort as I don't know if things will change in our lifetime, but I do think individuals can at least attempt to make a difference. You may not be able to change the world but you can at least intervene if you see racism happening in front of you. Being silent is being compliant.

 

[todiefor]

The problem does not come from you, but from the world and we cannot change that but we can change our perception of things, what could we do if stupid people do not validate us? it's normal there are tolerant people and intolerant people, if the world were perfect and fair we wouldn't be here trying to end our lives, and when I say that the key is to accept yourself imean it, no criticism will make you feeling bad about yourself, it's like a invisible bulletproof vest, moral of the story: don't lower yourself to the ignorant and let them bark and don't forget to put on your bulletproof vest, with love brother.

It's not about validation, and definitely not about criticism, it's about actual discrimination.

 

[Jeav]

It's not about validation, and definitely not about criticism, it's about actual discrimination.

criticizing someone because of their skin color is discriminatory, it's a cause leading to a consequence which is discrimination

same for validation

but your term is right it touches a sensitive point which is racial.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

I am not looking for solutions because 1) I don't care and 2) I have my own problems. However, people usually victimize people who look like them.

We don't care that you don't care.

 

[Dot]

Then don't complain because it's obviously not too bad.

Tbf ppl shld b abl t/ liv in cntries whre thy wre born w/o racsm & discrmnatn

& movng cntries = nt pssble fr evry1 fr mny dffent reasns

Y shld sme1 leav a cntry & thr famly & spport systm etc jst bcse of racsts

 

[Unspoken7612]

So I will say that nothing I can say to OP will possibly make a difference. You are having a negative experience which I know many people have but that I don't experience myself because I was lucky enough to be born white in a white-majority country. I'm sorry you have to deal with this extra challenge that I do not.

We must all collectively do our best to make this less of an issue over time, and by "over time" I mean sooner rather than later. There's no room for complacency but I also feel like meaningful change will take years. I can clearly see how attitudes towards gay people have changed in the last 15 years so it is clear big changes can happen in human lifespans.

I see a lot of people minimising this issue, which is a depressing mirror of the "women" thread. I'm trying not to be too harsh on these people because SaSu users are probably disproportionately severely maladjusted and sheltered, but I do wish people could try and extend empathy towards people who have different challenges rather than putting them down.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

So I will say that nothing I can say to OP will possibly make a difference. You are having a negative experience which I know many people have but that I don't experience myself because I was lucky enough to be born white in a white-majority country. I'm sorry you have to deal with this extra challenge that I do not.

We must all collectively do our best to make this less of an issue over time, and by "over time" I mean sooner rather than later. There's no room for complacency but I also feel like meaningful change will take years. I can clearly see how attitudes towards gay people have changed in the last 15 years so it is clear big changes can happen in human lifespans.

I see a lot of people minimising this issue, which is a depressing mirror of the "women" thread. I'm trying not to be too harsh on these people because SaSu users are probably disproportionately severely maladjusted and sheltered, but I do wish people could try and extend empathy towards people who have different challenges rather than putting them down.

very well said. but unfortunately any meaningful positive change could take centuries. i want to be optimistic but homophobia is a much smaller beast compared to racism

 

[losing hope]

Anyone who doesn't believe Racism still exists. I published a book, in the UK with a muslim name. Didn't sell very many copies. Changed it to an English name. It sold 10x more copies. That was in 2019 in the UK!

It's similar to why J K Rowling used to use a male name; https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/...cormoran-strike-ink-black-heart-b1024038.html

I wonder if the UK will ever see brown & white people as equals? I doubt it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Then don't complain because it's obviously not too bad.

I'm sorry, do you just expect people who grew up all their life in a country they now call home to just get up and leave? Yeah, moving countries definitely isn't expensive and most definitely doesn't involve having to try and learn a completely new language and adapt to a completely new culture!/s Also, there are a lot of POC have lived in Western countries for generations, some for much longer in comparison to the white people who live there today (e.g. First Nations People), so I no clue where you expect them to move to. Nobody should have to move countries to get away from discrimination.

I hope that the next time you come on here and complain about your own problems that others respond to you the same way you decided to respond to this thread. You would think that as a gay person, someone who has experienced discrimination before, you would be more empathetic to the struggles of other marginalized groups. But then again, what should I have expected? You are the same guy who took the time to make biphobic posts trying to argue that bi people are sexual predators who will "fuck anything, anyone, at anytime" under some other thread a while back, after all.

 

[Roseate]

We are all people of different colors in society...

We don't all share the same experience though and not everyone is equally discriminated and not everyone are people of color. White people aren't technically considered people of color.

Well they don't have to live there.

That's like mentally stable people telling us to kill ourselves. You wouldn't like that, would you? Even if it's what you want, you'd feel a type of way. It's so ignorant to say that. Then to say it's not so bad. Why are you on a suicidal platform? Life isn't so bad. Plenty of people make it work. Don't come on here complaining about your life, you can toughen up like every other normies out there. It goes both ways and if you don't like it then don't say the same ignorant statement to someone else. You're giving white and that's sad asf especially on a website like this. People like you are why people of color die at a HIGHER rate than white people.

 

[hoppybunny]

I'm sorry, do you just expect people who grew up all their life in a country they now call home to just get up and leave? Yeah, moving countries definitely isn't expensive and most definitely doesn't involve having to try and learn a completely new language and adapt to a completely new culture!/s Also, there are a lot of POC have lived in Western countries for generations, some for much longer in comparison to the white people who live there today (e.g. First Nations People), so I no clue where you expect them to move to. Nobody should have to move countries to get away from discrimination.

I hope that the next time you come on here and complain about your own problems that others respond to you the same way you decided to respond to this thread. You would think that as a gay person, someone who has experienced discrimination before, you would be more empathetic to the struggles of other marginalized groups. But then again, what should I have expected? You are the same guy who took the time to make biphobic posts trying to argue that bi people are sexual predators who will "fuck anything, anyone, at anytime" under some other thread a while back, after all.

You're so real for this. Especially since a lot of countries that won't be racist towards a person of colour are unfortunately ass. I say this as a Nigerian who has lived in Nigeria
Then literally any other country with a decent standard of living hates other races people so the dude legit doesn't know what he's talking about.

Dude definitely needs to be treated the way he treats others.

 

[4everHeartBroken]

In every country, all over the world, a race is the minority.

On this site, we are all one race.... The human race.

THIS.

Its scary I didnt realize how racist people actually were till this all started happening

Same.

 

[No More Tears]

It's sad when this site, which is supposed to be about suicide issues, is suddenly about racism.

I get it, racism is there, it always will be. However, blaming one entire race for racism, makes you a racist.

Give me hell, I don't give a shit.

Nah fr. I literally wanted to scream reading some of these comments. "Were all one race, the human race". Christ get a brain and use it, you know what OP is saying.

The comment "We're all one race, the human race" was said by a person of color. Does that make you want to scream too?

 

[cryptoinvestor]

It's sad when this site, which is supposed to be about suicide issues, is suddenly about racism.

When has it been renamed to sanctioned-racism? There is literally only one thread about this in 5 pages. It's people like you who deny our experience who are part of the problem. If this topic doesn't concern you, scroll to other discussion you resonate with and comment there.

No one blamed an entire race for racism, I have personally experienced colorism from people of my race with a lighter shade of brown and light skin Indians were also very racist to me. You made an assumption because it says poc, means it's about attacking white people. I'm sorry you feel that way. This is not just black vs white (pun intended).

And if you have experienced racism as a white person, no one is stopping you from creating a thread and venting. Racism is abuse and contributes to depression which is directly linked to suicide, it's a very valid topic here and should be discussed freely

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's sad when this site, which is supposed to be about suicide issues, is suddenly about racism.

I get it, racism is there, it always will be. However, blaming one entire race for racism, makes you a racist.

Give me hell, I don't give a shit.


The comment "We're all one race, the human race" was said by a person of color. Does that make you want to scream too?

Funny how one person makes a thread about racism and all of sudden you are complaining about how the site is not supposed to be about racism, meanwhile, you can find posts about plenty of other threads complaining about other issues (transphobia, homophobia, relationship issues, poverty, etc) and I don't see you complaining about them not being specifically about suicide. The OP is venting about their frustrations with being a POC and it's clear that this is contributing to their suicidality, hence them venting about it under the suicide dicussion forum, so mentioning it here makes sense.

Why is it that one person makes a thread venting about racism and you people suddenly go from being compassionate and understanding to either saying a bunch of empty platitudes (reminiscent of what pro-lifers do), trying to subtly downplay it, or reacting to it with offence? This thread is seriously highlighting some of you guys' true colours and it isn't pretty.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

Funny how one person makes a thread about racism and all of sudden you are complaining about how the site is not supposed to be about racism, meanwhile, you can find posts about plenty of other threads complaining about other issues (transphobia, homophobia, relationship issues, poverty, etc) and I don't see you complaining about them not being specifically about suicide. The OP is venting about their frustrations with being a POC and it's clear that this is contributing to their suicidality, hence them venting about it under the suicide dicussion forum, so mentioning it here makes sense.

Why is it that one person makes a thread venting about racism and you people suddenly go from being compassionate and understanding to either saying a bunch of empty platitudes (reminiscent of what pro-lifers do), trying to subtly downplay it, or reacting to it with offence? This thread is seriously highlighting some of you guys' true colours and it isn't pretty.

THANK YOU! it's baffling

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I find it sad that OP vented about a very real and heart breaking issue, which I'm sure contributes to them being here, to then be met with some disappointing replies.
We're all here suffering for different reasons and usually people are so compassionate to each other. Let's not let this place be divided by race, for that we already have the real world.

I hope you can take the positive replies to heart OP, I think a lot of people either relate to your experience or, even if they are on the other side, can see the reality and truly want to make the world a better place. I know I do and I can see by other member's responses that they do as well.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

So many "i don't give a shit" type replies. You are just exposing yourselves.

 

[hoppybunny]

So many "i don't give a shit" type replies. You are just exposing yourselves.

Hoping they get treated like this for their own problems on here or in general. Assholes deserve asshole treatment.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

Well they don't have to live there.

I've heard this line a lot from some people in my state. If you are from or talking about the US as part of that, 99% of us are descended from a mixture of refugees, poor immigrants, slaves, and colonists. Nobody "has" to live here.

The line always feels disingenuous, like a quick way to dismiss someone's problem. Someone who has mostly been in good health could tell a disabled person who loves their home and country that "if you don't like not being able to receive medical care here go somewhere else". The disabled person obviously doesn't want to live anywhere else though, they were born an American and they want to work towards helping US society to change. I think that's a lot more patriotic of them than running away to europe or africa or asia or wherever else.

There are states, including the one where I live, where the people are still severely segregated. I don't know where you live, but you have to go out and see it in person to understand if you're living in an egalitarian area where the whites and the few blacks all have it pretty good and live together with no problems. There are countless poor white towns where black people are seen as inherently suspicious. There are companies that on paper say they'll hire anyone but somehow have no "qualified" black people in an area that is mostly black because every black person just "isn't the right fit". There are cities where where you are born determines whether you are taught anything in school, whether you get basic munincipal services, and whether or not you live in a gang saturated hell hole, and the biggest predictor of where you are born is what race your grandparents were and what race you are.

Telling someone soft racism doesn't exist inside the corporations (which form the bedrock of every society), in their own personal daily interactions, or in the opportunities they are given just because you personally haven't seen it is probably some of the most disingenous bullshit I think I've ever heard, and it happens a lot both online and in real life. And telling a fellow American citizen who offers their own personal experience and their own opinion on it to "go somewhere else" is the most unamerican thing I've ever heard.