Venting Back to therapy

[guywiththehair]

-I'm getting forced back into therapy. This is going to be my 6th time and my 6th therapist in a little over three years.
-The first one quit. The second one unironically suggested conversion therapy. The third one just didn't fit. I ghosted the fourth after my last attempt at ctb. And the fifth one also quit.
-I'm not hopeful. I don't want help anymore, not like I did when I first asked to get a therapist. I was put on prozac in January this year, and it made everything worse. I stopped eating and taking care of myself even more than I was before I was on meds, and after telling my therapist that I didn't feel like it was helping, her and my doctor upped my dosage instead of actually doing anything to help. And, just like I thought, it made everything worse again.
-I don't want to go back to therapy, but I've been told that I have to. I'm just done and I want to ctb so badly. I've obsessively thought about it for months, and just when I feel like I might be getting better, everything crashes and my life falls apart again. Nothing helps and nothing changes. It happens all the time and I've given up thinking that things are ever going to get better.

 

[suicidalloser]

-I'm getting forced back into therapy. This is going to be my 6th time and my 6th therapist in a little over three years.
-The first one quit. The second one unironically suggested conversion therapy. The third one just didn't fit. I ghosted the fourth after my last attempt at ctb. And the fifth one also quit.
-I'm not hopeful. I don't want help anymore, not like I did when I first asked to get a therapist. I was put on prozac in January this year, and it made everything worse. I stopped eating and taking care of myself even more than I was before I was on meds, and after telling my therapist that I didn't feel like it was helping, her and my doctor upped my dosage instead of actually doing anything to help. And, just like I thought, it made everything worse again.
-I don't want to go back to therapy, but I've been told that I have to. I'm just done and I want to ctb so badly. I've obsessively thought about it for months, and just when I feel like I might be getting better, everything crashes and my life falls apart again. Nothing helps and nothing changes. It happens all the time and I've given up thinking that things are ever going to get better.

'Hope only leads to disappointment.'
My favorite quote, because it is true.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful being forced to do that, I hate how we exist in this world where there is a lack of acceptance towards the right to die and how people are expected to just suffer endlessly instead, I get that it's tiring feeling trapped here.

 

[guywiththehair]

I'm going to give therapy and medication one last try before I make an attempt. If all it does is ruin my life more, then I'll be back here to find the right method. It'll probably be soon.