darkenmydoorstep
Not Waving But Browned Off….
- Sep 27, 2023
- 623
I had a week away from my life. Travelling alone in a foreign country. I was so happy, just at one with nature, experiencing feeling alive and free.
And then I had to go "home", return to my miserable existence.
Day of the flight I cried. Like an animal faced with a slaughterhouse.
And now here I am again, back here in this place I hate with these people I don't want to be with.
In a way, I think "well at least it showed you you could enjoy life again, that your troubles are circumstantial" but as I cannot change the circumstances for 6 years (can't leave til my son is grown up), it just feels like something was dangled tantalisingly before me that I can't have.
How do I last 6 years?
I hate it.
And then I had to go "home", return to my miserable existence.
Day of the flight I cried. Like an animal faced with a slaughterhouse.
And now here I am again, back here in this place I hate with these people I don't want to be with.
In a way, I think "well at least it showed you you could enjoy life again, that your troubles are circumstantial" but as I cannot change the circumstances for 6 years (can't leave til my son is grown up), it just feels like something was dangled tantalisingly before me that I can't have.
How do I last 6 years?
I hate it.
