Back in and out of treatment

[Tintypographer]

Gosh. I read @kelli at @fixthe26 every day. I've been off this forum for months now except to post occasional thoughts and yet my suicidal depression treatment resistant has flared again. And all Kelli has to say is platitudes of "it will get better". Sure say that to all the people out there for whom there is not an effective treatment with cognitive therapy. Say that for people who have been on drugs for 15-20 years with no break. Say that to people who wake up every day wishing they were back asleep or dead. That's it. All day every day. I'm not a drug user, never, I'm not an incel, I'm not some sick twisted person except for the constant hatred for myself and my life. I have college degrees, a good career, kids, a spouse and yet I've tried five times to kill myself and I hate my life more than you could every possibly imagine. And the only platitude that those people say is "I can promise you it will get better". My evidence says it most certainly will not. Yet you won't respond to me. You WILL NOT TALK ABOUT SEVERE TREATMENT RESISTAN DEPRESSION. Your mission seems to be to rid the world of incels and death cults not to help people with suicide. How many family members out there told their lost loved ones "hey, I know it sucks but it will get better" and then it never did.

The problem is that this line doesn't actually help. Come up with something. Something clinical or medical. How about "if you follow the advice of this doctor about severe depression and take these steps it will help you". How about "I know you spent time at a 10k per week treatment facility in Arizona and despite that not helping if you go back and tell them to switch to this treatment it will help"

Why won't you argue with us about the actual problems we have and try to make suggestions.

 

[jodes2]

I always think it's better and more accurate to say often things to get better for many people. I think there's always a sliver of hope at least, but what do I know, I don't think I suffer enough, or have ever suffered enough, to qualify to make the statement carte blanche. Ive had treatment resistant depression for a LONG time but I've had periods of okness which skews my view somewhat I guess. I'm sorry you've suffered so much for so long, so unrelentingly I respect whatever decision you make, as much as it may pain me. I had my first break in 10 years of anhedonia 10 days ago in a big way so I'm disgustingly, repulsively optimistic right now in ways, please forgive me if I come across as a pro-lifer! I'm pro choice, strongly, out of principle, after all the time I've been happy if I were dead, so... Take what you will from me. We're here for you whatever you decide, and whatever happens. Wishing you peace poor @Tintypographer

 

[Forever Sleep]

My Dad says this to me a lot... I know what you mean. Kind of feel like I would be more accepting of a more realistic version: Things CAN get better (if you put in the work), not that they WILL and worst of all- the PROMISE that they WILL. I sort of feel like saying- 'Can I hold you to that?' Jesus- especially if it's a therapist that you're paying! You really ought to say- 'Am I eligible for a refund if things don't get better?' They're providing a service after all... we'd complain if a posh meal we'd ordered was cold or worse- gave us food poisoning.

Actually, I think what I REALLY hate about this phrase is the implication that it will magically happen. Good things will magically come in to your life. When the reality is surely- YOU have to put the work in on yourself- YOU have to pay for and go through the therapy (which I can't see being a 'nice' experience- you're not there to talk about all the good things that have happened to you), YOU have to take the drugs (not entirely knowing what they're going to do to you- I'm not convinced the doctors even know when it's psychotropics), YOU have to fix the stuff that's shit in your life- your job, your relationships, your body.

Sure- things CAN get better but what are the chances of them getting better without YOU doing the majority of the work? The only person that has any inkling on whether things have a hope in hell of getting better surely has to be... you!

 

[BipolarExpress]

Gosh. I read @kelli at @fixthe26 every day. I've been off this forum for months now except to post occasional thoughts and yet my suicidal depression treatment resistant has flared again. And all Kelli has to say is platitudes of "it will get better". Sure say that to all the people out there for whom there is not an effective treatment with cognitive therapy. Say that for people who have been on drugs for 15-20 years with no break. Say that to people who wake up every day wishing they were back asleep or dead. That's it. All day every day. I'm not a drug user, never, I'm not an incel, I'm not some sick twisted person except for the constant hatred for myself and my life. I have college degrees, a good career, kids, a spouse and yet I've tried five times to kill myself and I hate my life more than you could every possibly imagine. And the only platitude that those people say is "I can promise you it will get better". My evidence says it most certainly will not. Yet you won't respond to me. You WILL NOT TALK ABOUT SEVERE TREATMENT RESISTAN DEPRESSION. Your mission seems to be to rid the world of incels and death cults not to help people with suicide. How many family members out there told their lost loved ones "hey, I know it sucks but it will get better" and then it never did.

The problem is that this line doesn't actually help. Come up with something. Something clinical or medical. How about "if you follow the advice of this doctor about severe depression and take these steps it will help you". How about "I know you spent time at a 10k per week treatment facility in Arizona and despite that not helping if you go back and tell them to switch to this treatment it will help"

Why won't you argue with us about the actual problems we have and try to make suggestions.

I am so fucking tired of the platitudes. Fuck people like Kelli. Their goal isn't to try to understand and help us; it's to pat themselves on the back for doing their Good Deed of the Day by Saving Lives, not actually helping us make our lives worth living. Some of us have just given up. I'm close to that point myself—which is why I'm here. My therapist has nothing but platitudes for me. I can't tell her how suicidal I am because I don't want to get sent back to the psych ward. I've been on at least eight different mood-affecting medications, plus weed and alcohol, and NONE of them has made me less suicidal. I'm taking lithium, which is supposed to reduce suicidality, but this is the most suicidal I've been in my fucking life. UGH.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think reading about those pro lifers won't achieve anything. They would likely only ever understand our point of view if they somehow became suicidal themselves. I believe that people who say things like 'it will get better', are certainly delusional as to the cruel reality of this existence. Forced optimism and toxic positivity are both harmful, irritating and nonsensical. Those people simply don't understand what others go through, as they cannot experience our lives, of course it's best to always take no notice of them. It would be different if life suddenly got worse for them and they will be forced to come to terms with the fact that life really can get that awful for people. The fact is that sometimes suicide is the most preferable option and that fact should be respected. The idea that life always improves and is always worth living for everyone and must be prolonged at all costs is insane to me.