Back and forth on time frame

[Idontmatter]

I keep going back and forth on my time frame. I was going to wait until after the holidays and then I decided the weekend of Dec 4th. Now I'm thinking of the holidays again. There is never a "good time" to ctb. My husband is what's keeping me alive right now. I'm hoping for his forgiveness after I'm gone. I know he will find someone so much better than myself to be with, better looking and treats him better than I do. He wont have to be weighed down dealing with me. Reading all of your stories, worries and issues is therapeutic for me. I know im not alone and I hope people on here that are new know the same. My job is such a big trigger for my anxiety but we can't afford for me to quit. My time is still very limited, I just don't know how limited. I'm literally just taking it week by week. I have everything I need to do the sn method with the exception of anti nausea but I'm confident it will all work out. Thank you all on here for always being so nice. As always thanks for listening

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans. When the time comes for you to leave I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[TrynaChingMyself]

Same here. I keep pushing my time frame back because of birthdays etc. Now I'm thinking December but then there's Christmas/new years that I don't want to ruin for people. At this point it'll be 2023 before I find the perfect date.

I've thought about writing a note asking people to instead celebrate my life instead of mourning at whatever holiday my time frame coincides with. But I realise it will probably mean nothing in the end.

Hopefully you're happy with the date you eventually decide. There's never a good time like you said, but maybe there's a good enough time.

 

[Pluto]

Nothing wrong with changing plans. The main thing is being able to make choices and feeling in control of your destiny.

 

[Beeper]

I was originally considering today as my CTB date. However, things did not align well and I need to push the date out at least one week.

As another post mentioned, no concerns on changing the date as long as you retain control via choice.

I am also trying to minimize the impact on family. I know it will be hard for them. Trying to avoid holidays & b-days.

 

[Idontmatter]

Yeah, the toll on my husband does bug me. All I can hope is that he forgives me. He knows I'm suicidal which is why I was in a physc ward in September which racked up a huge bill. It's going to be cheaper for me to ctb

Nothing wrong with changing plans. The main thing is being able to make choices and feeling in control of your destiny.

It definitely is nice to know I have what I need to end my life. I just have to make sure it works

I wish you the best with your plans. When the time comes for you to leave I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

Thank you. I hope the same for you when the time comes for you.
I am nervous because I don't have everything that the Stans guide recommends for the sn method but I'm hoping it just means I'll be a little uncomfortable for a bit till I'm gone.

 

[plsletmego]

This has been me everyday. I have these urges to just do it but then I'll put it off by a day or two bc I get scared or emotional, even though I know things will not get better. Then I get to the day and something has come up to make me put it off again. It's so frustrating, SI is the worst. I feel so STUCK and it makes me feel like a caged animal

 

[Idontmatter]

This has been me everyday. I have these urges to just do it but then I'll put it off by a day or two bc I get scared or emotional, even though I know things will not get better. Then I get to the day and something has come up to make me put it off again. It's so frustrating, SI is the worst. I feel so STUCK and it makes me feel like a caged animal

If I wasn't with my husband I would be gone already. I'm going to do it unless a miracle happens and I find a treatment for my anxiety and depression that works. Medications and therapy sure as hell doesn't. Right now everything just seems hopeless. I feel for you and everyone else going through this. It's such a never ending nightmare

 

[plsletmego]

If I wasn't with my husband I would be gone already. I'm going to do it unless a miracle happens and I find a treatment for my anxiety and depression that works. Medications and therapy sure as hell doesn't. Right now everything just seems hopeless. I feel for you and everyone else going through this. It's such a never ending nightmare

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you can find peace

 

[Labean]

Я продолжаю пересматривать свои временные рамки. Я собирался дождаться окончания праздников, а затем решил, что выходные 4 декабря. Теперь я снова думаю о праздниках. Для ctb никогда не бывает «хорошего времени». Мой муж - это то, что держит меня в живых прямо сейчас. Я надеюсь на его прощение после того, как я уйду. Я знаю, что он найдет кого-то намного лучше меня, чтобы быть с ним, лучше выглядящего и относящегося к нему лучше, чем я. Он не должен быть отягощенным, имея дело со мной. Чтение всех ваших историй, тревог и проблем для меня терапевтически. Я знаю, что я не одинок, и я надеюсь, что новички здесь знают то же самое. Моя работа вызывает у меня беспокойство, но мы не можем позволить себе бросить ее. Мое время все еще очень ограничено, просто не знаю насколько. Я буквально принимаю это неделя за неделей. У меня есть все необходимое для применения метода sn, за исключением средства от тошноты, но я уверен, что все сработает. Спасибо всем, кто здесь, за то, что всегда были такими милыми. Как всегда спасибо за внимание

Привет. Все, что не сделано, - к лучшему. Не съедай себя за это.

 

[Idontmatter]

It's taking everything in my power not to drink a glass of sn today after my husband goes to work later. Anxiety is high today

 

[Labean]

Сочувствую, надеюсь, что без снотворного можно успокоиться.

 

[Dot]

If I wasn't with my husband I would be gone already. I'm going to do it unless a miracle happens and I find a treatment for my anxiety and depression that works. Medications and therapy sure as hell doesn't. Right now everything just seems hopeless. I feel for you and everyone else going through this. It's such a never ending nightmare

Hope nt mind recommend b/ if nt tried somatic treatmnt for symptom, mayB worth look in2. Irene Lyon hv course & info. Cld C somatic experiencing practitioner. Respct choice eithr way, jst feel bad knowin wld b open 2 n.e. treatmnt & nt mention it.

 

[Idontmatter]

Hope nt mind recommend b/ if nt tried somatic treatmnt for symptom, mayB worth look in2. Irene Lyon hv course & info. Cld C somatic experiencing practitioner. Respct choice eithr way, jst feel bad knowin wld b open 2 n.e. treatmnt & nt mention it.

I don't mind the recommendation at all. I would love to try anything if it keeps me alive. It just seems no matter what I do it never seems to work. I've even researched ketamine treatments but I hear they are really expensive.

 

[Dot]

I don't mind the recommendation at all. I would love to try anything if it keeps me alive. It just seems no matter what I do it never seems to work. I've even researched ketamine treatments but I hear they are really expensive.

Irene Lyon hs lots resources if visit YT pge. Also Margaret Paul wrte books on 'inner bonding'. All complimentry 2 eachothr & use diffrnt wys 2 connect w/ underlyin emotion & process thm out.